


The Things We Do For Love

by TheOneAndOnly1993



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Guilt, Post-Storm The Castle, Psychological Drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-29 02:26:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 70,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8471974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOneAndOnly1993/pseuds/TheOneAndOnly1993
Summary: Ever since his near-death by Toffee's claws, Marco is plagued by nightmares he cannot remember, and every morning he awakens to a terrified Star. Marco feels guilty, and doesn't want to trouble the princess further, while Star simply wishes to help her best friend. Both suffer from caring too much - just how long can their relationship take this before it begins to crack?





	1. Like being there when you wake up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star gets Marco out of bed

**_This story will be focusing on the relationship of Star and Marco post-'Storm the Castle,' and their complicated feelings towards one another in light of these events. There will be some Starco, but it isn't the focus, merely a plotpoint._ **

**__**

* * *

**_The Things We Do For Love_ **

_TheOneAndOnly1993_

* * *

Marco Diaz stood completely still, wishing not to disturb the quiet that had overtaken Ludo's keep, now a lifeless ruin. The air smelled of cupcakes and mortar, as was typical after a big climactic fight with Star Butterfly, Princess of Mewni.

The girl in question stood to his right, shaking, gazing upon the desolation of her own making.

As Marco eyed her from the corner of his sight, he found that Star had yet to move, even though five seconds passed since he turned away from Toffee's remains: a jacket and a blood-red tie.

For Star, this was a record. Never in the time Marco had come to know the girl had she managed to stay so still. She tried a few times, boy did she try; yet her efforts almost always ended with her jumping up and down in place, huge grin plastered. Marco gave her an "A" for effort though, being able to stay in one spot was still impressive for Star.

But now, now on her face was something Marco had never seen before. Who he jokingly referred to as the physical embodiment of sugar and happiness, Star Butterfly soaked in the ruination around her with wide, wet eyes, and the tiniest, almost invisible of frowns. Yet the hearts adorning her cheeks did not betray her emotion, never wavered in their image - they were still small, and pink, and oh, so cute. That last part Marco convinced himself everyone in school thought the same.

Star had never been seen with genuine sadness before, and Marco hoped to God it would stay that way. Yet here, now, Marco wished she showed at the very least _something,_ anything. Even joy right now would bring relief. It would be a bit creepy, for sure, but it's better than just... _this_.

For the first time in his life, Marco was unsure of what Star was feeling. He did not blame her, after everything that just happened. He wondered what was going on through her head right now - she had just given up her wand, her birthright, to save him. She had massacred a keep of monsters, only to save him.

The full weight of everything just punched Marco in the face, and he found it suddenly very difficult to stay upright. _Holy smokes,_ was all he could think of, before realizing that it has now been ten seconds, and neither of them had moved.

Marco changed that, and finally turned over to face her. His heart sunk when she twitched her gaze over to him, then her whole body - Star clasped her hands up over her chest, blonde locks stirring lazily in the wind. Her eyes big, shimmering, and quickly watering at the sight of her best friend.

 _I'm so sorry,_ Marco wanted to say, but the words died in his throat. He knew words would be useless right now, empty at best, angering at worst. Star had just lost everything, a few simple words from some human she met half a year ago wouldn't fix anything.

Marco was sure of it.

But he knew of one thing Star needed, and, secretly, he needed too. A shy step forward, his arms out and open at his sides was all the invitation Star needed.

She practically threw herself on him, planting her face in his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his body and squeezing, squeezing with all her might. The princess had surprising muscle hidden in those deceptively skinny arms of hers, obviously gained from years of kicking monster tail. Yet they were always warm and good for hugs.

As Marco returned the gesture, he wondered what she would do now for entertainment. No one was around to steal Star's wand, because any ambitious enough to try and assault the Princess of Mewni died tonight. Not that that mattered. Star's wand was gone.

And he knew why.

But when he started to feel the girl in his arms shake, Marco knew he had to resist the urge to break down as well. He blinked back tears in his eyes before nuzzling Star's hair, smelling of sugar and cinder.

* * *

_"When you see my face, it gives you Hell! Gives yooou Hell! When you walk my way-"_

Marco rushed to grab the phone at his side, so quickly and furiously and tiredly he moved that it took three thumb-swipes across the screen to silence his alarm.

The boy grumbled as he readjusted his blanket-cocoon, cursing himself for forgetting to turn the stupid thing off before going to bed. After all the excitement, Mom and Dad offered to let the kids skip school the next day and rest up. Never had Marco been so thankful towards his parents, he practically threw himself at their feet.

They had a late night partying in Mewni: in celebration of Princess Star Butterfly's decisive victory against Ludo and his army. Though both knew it was just for show, for the commoners' sake, even if neither of them spoke about it. Yet it wasn't an empty ceremony, in truth Star's parents, the King and Queen, were proud of their daughter for her decisions that night. It was small comfort for Marco, who worried that they would be furious with their daughter for almost losing the priceless family heirloom.

That's right, "almost." Everything turned out okay anyway, for in the ashes of Ludo's keep, the two of them found a new wand smoldering in the ruins, reborn, like the Phoenix from _Harry Potter._ After an interesting display from a tiny unicorn, of course. It was never simple with Star Butterfly.

Marco grumbled, further pushing his face into his pillow and wishing he could turn his brain back off, break into Dreamland with a battering ram and never come out until he wanted to. He didn't want to think about the wand right now, nor the King and Queen, or last night or even Star. Not right now. The day had just started after all.

Sure, everything turned out okay. Yet if everything turned out okay, how come nothing _felt_ okay?

Marco didn't know, and truly, he didn't care. He was fine, they were fine. Star was... fine?

Marco drifted back asleep, uncertain about his own friend.

* * *

"Marco, _Marco, MARCO, **MARCO!**_ "

Yeah, she was fine.

Now begrudgingly awake, the boy attempted to flip himself over but found that something laid on top of him, preventing him from doing so. A drowsy turn of the head revealed a pale, skinny leg fitted with a purple sock obscuring half his vision, and he could take a wild guess at who it belonged to.

In a voice thick with underuse and sleep deprivation, Marco muttered, "Whassup Star?"

"Me!" she replied, giggling; what must have been a finger pushed into his cowlick, "on top of _you!"_

Marco grunted thoughtfully. "Was wondering why I couldn't move." His mood brightened considerably hearing Star laugh. "So what's going on?" he asked, just as he felt the weight on his back lighten, and Star moved to lie down right next to him, fingers laced over her stomach.

She waited until Marco was positioned the same. "Oh, just thinkin' about my," she enthusiastically nudged him in the elbow with her own, "fave-o guy!"

"And you couldn't wait until I returned from the Land of the Dead?" He meant it as a joke, emphasized by the smirk he now wore. Yet when Marco looked over, Star was gazing into the ceiling looking... surprisingly pensive.

"Did you sleep okay?" she suddenly asked, and the quietness of her voice didn't help much either.

Marco took a second to respond, finding himself caught off guard by this sudden change in topic and demeanor. "Uh, yeah? What's this about, Star?"

She just turned her head, locking eyes with his; a sad smile graced her lips, but nothing more was said or done.

Marco was about to say her name once more when the princess replied, "Sorry," with her usual positivity. "I was... kinda curious. It's just, I've been waiting foe- _evah_ for you to wake up, Marco. You've been lumpin' it up here like a big ol' lump all day."

Marco quirked a brow, gazing past Star to the window on the other side of his bedroom - the sky was orange, and he could faintly hear the warble of birds through the glass. His eyes widened. "I've been asleep all day!?" he cried, sitting up.

Star joined him, pulling her legs so she sat crisscross. "And all night, too! It's the morning, Marco! We gotta get up for school!"

"WHAT!? You gotta be joking me!" Marco sprung up from his bed, suddenly purged of the tiredness that plagued his senses as he made a dash for the closet.

While Marco cringed at the realization that he hadn't showered in a couple days (and that Star was right on top of him just moments ago), the girl sauntered across the room to the door, smiling knowingly as she remarked, "That must've been some dream you were having, eh Marco?"

"Yeah," he replied, absentmindedly while reaching for a towel. Though he took a second or two to soak in her words and, with a frown, admitted, "Actually, I don't remember any of it."

Star, for whatever reason, shrank back at this. "You don't?" she asked in disbelief.

Marco just shrugged. "N-No? Most people don't remember what they dream half the time. Should I?"

Star didn't answer right away, merely she gave him a long look eventually punctuated with an overly animated shrug.

Obviously she was hiding something. What, though, was a matter of debate Marco did not have the energy or will to care about. He was fine, so what did his dreams matter? "Well, alright then. I'm gonna go shower, see ya downstairs."

He shook his head, chuckling; Star was just being a weirdo.


	2. Like spending time with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star and Marco watch a movie together

School came and went, another day closer to the semester's end.

Nothing remarkable transpired, just the excited questions of classmates assaulting Star and Marco upon entering homeroom, asking where they were these last couple days. Marco was more than happy to let Star take the reigns, allowing her to dazzle their peers with an epic recounting of her tussle with Ludo and the subsequent "gi-huge-ic" party at Castle Butterfly.

From his seat, Marco could not see Star - so many bodies crowded around her desk. But he heard her just fine, babbling on about all of the decorations in the ballroom and the music at the party, how she blasted "one guy's" arm off, her wand blowing up Ludo's castle and getting a shiny new one (to which everyone audibly cooed as she whipped it out of her backpack).

Marco noted that a few details were omitted. Just a few though, like the dozen or so monsters who were incinerated when the keep exploded, or why all of this happened in the first place.

But hey.

Details.

Marco understood why though! Of course, Star didn't want to worry her classmates with "what might have been"s and the like. Marco was fine, and therefore, everything was fine. And Star, after all, hated to ruin a mood.

In the moment he suddenly spoke up, Marco was unsure of what compelled him to do so.

"Star?" The excited chattering stopped - those who had their backs to Marco peered at him from over their shoulders, then stepped aside to part a line of sight to Star, whose smile was bright as ever.

Out of nowhere, Marco felt a fluttering in his belly seeing Princess Star so happy. Everything came out on top for her after all, she earned it.

And so Marco, in spite of the roiling in his stomach, gave a smirk when he asked, "Tell them about that crazy RPG-spell you made with your wand! I never saw that one before."

"You mean the Rainbow-Propelled Grenade?!" The princess got really excited, and proceeded to tell her classmates everything about the spell, and only mentioned in passing how she used it "to save Marco's butt!"

But being the good friend that she is, Star did not leave Marco out of the glory, and went as far as to make up a lie that involved him fighting back, using details from a previous encounter with Ludo's monsters and implementing them into this story.

Everyone, even Jackie Lynn Thomas, who Marco couldn't help but revert back to a flustered fool when she spoke to him, hailed his falsified prowess in a flurry of appraisals, and pats on the back, and punches to the shoulder. A little stroke of the ego was never unwanted by Marco, who rationalized that a little lying on Star's part was worth ignoring the fact that he was slowly being crushed to death.

Marco blinked rapidly, then shook his head and tuned back in to whatever Jackie was saying to him.

* * *

An empty house awaited to greet the kids after school, with only a note on the counter, written in blue ink:

_"Kids, we are going to Palm Springs to visit Abuela. Do not worry Marco, she is fine! It is just a short visit, we will be back tomorrow morning. Your mother has her cellular phone if you wish to call her. A meatloaf is in the oven, just heat it up. Behave yourselves!_

_With Love, Mama and Papa"_

Star was literally bouncing with excitement. "A Friday night with the house to ourselves?!" The note crumpled up in one of two fists, which Star pressed against her heart-stamped cheeks as she paced about the kitchen.

Marco watched her with amusement.

"We can order more than five movies, and they can all be rated-R, and we can eat a whole bunch of candy until we throw up! Oh! Maybe we can have a ton of people over? And they can bring a bunch of people we don't know? Make it a party! _MARCO!_ "

"Woah!" Star had suddenly whirled around and grabbed the boy by his shoulders. "Uh, what?" he stammered.

With a mad glint in her eye Star asked, "Are you ready for _the most_ in-sane night of your little fourteen-year-old life?"

Marco blinked.

Gently, he grabbed his friend by the wrists and held them in front of him - he knew Star was just excited (or perhaps she was serious?), yet the mere idea of dealing with people just made him inexplicably tired.

"How about we take it easy tonight, Star?" he suggested, smiling easily. "At least I think we should, what with all the craziness these last couple days."

Star smiled bright as her namesake, not at all bothered by Marco's declination. "Sure!" she relented, bouncing slightly on her tiptoes.

"Besides, the thought of eating more candy, on top of pulling another all-nighter? Makes me wanna chuke all over again." He wrapped an arm around his stomach, and made a face silly enough to make Star laugh.

"You shouldn't have eaten so much cake, you goober!"

"Hey, how often could a guy eat _royal cake_ from another dimension?" Just saying it out loud tickled Marco's insides - _"another dimension" -_ and the friend who was responsible for it all, a princess who was currently snorting in quite an uncouth manner, made him realize how... _incredible_ his life was. Star integrated so easily into his proper and careful existence, even though there was no logical reason it should have worked out so well, that he couldn't even imagine what he would be doing with himself if Principal Skeeves never called him down to the office all those months ago.

He didn't even want to think about life without Star.

"Wait, hold up Marco! I think I'm about to be brilliant!" said girl piped up, clasping the front of her seafoam-green dress.

Marco quirked a brow, smiling in anticipation. "And how's that?"

"Well, since we missed Friendship Thursday, how about we change it to Friendship _Fridays,_ and instead of ordering Ameilio's, you and I make some nachos to have with our meatloaf?" Star grinned wide, leaning over with her fists underneath her chin, expectant.

"Meatloaf and nachos? That sounds like something from Hamburger Helper; different enough to make me feel adventurous, but not _so_ different it removes me from my comfort zone." Marco ignored how sad it was that he was being partially serious.

"I always think about my bestie first!" Star remarked. "So, whadda ya say? We throw on a cheesy-bad scare-flick, stuff our face-holes with Diaz homecooking, _cuddle up_ beneath the snuggie," she teased, wiggling her fingers. "Is that not wild enough for big, _bad_ , _boy_ , Mmmmarco Diaz?" Star giggled to Marco's rolling eyes, a high and harmonious sound, before straightening up with her hands on her narrow hips.

In response Marco shrugged, uncaring - truly, Star could have offered to watch paint dry and he would be happy just to take it easy with his partner in crime at his side. "Sure, sounds good! Already got a movie in mind actually; have you ever heard of _Army of Darkness_?"

" _Nooo..._ " Star grinned, asking in a low, eager voice, "Is it bad?"

"It's hilari-bad."

* * *

Star hated it when Marco fell asleep while watching a movie, something that occurred near-every Friendship Thursday.

Thus, she would do everything in her power to make him regret it, being so weak-willed as to pass out - she would poke his face, draw on it, hook a finger into his mouth, his nose, give him a wet-willy or, very rarely, she would watch the entire movie and then give Marco the cold shoulder as they went to bed afterwards. Or, at least, she tried; Star's version was more of a melted ice cream shoulder, announcing for all the house to hear, "I can't hear you, Mister Marco _Z-ez,_ I'm too busy sleeping!" and proceed to make obnoxious snoring noises. Marco would then poke every hole he possibly could within that very short sentence as they raced to reach the bathroom first. In short, waking up Marco was something of a game for Star and a mild inconvenience for him. Truly, Marco believed that he had been woken up in virtually every way conceivable by Star Butterfly.

But never had he awakened to the sound of Star screaming his name.

 _"_ Marco? _MARCO!? WAKE **UP!** "_

Bleary-eyed and jostled around, Marco had no time to gain his bearings before the face of Star Butterfly came into view - pale, wild-eyed, and ravaged with worry creasing her normally smooth features. She was grabbing him by the shoulders, and while his eyes blinked, uncomprehending as they adjusted to the realm of the awake, the fear wrought across her features diminished into an edged concern.

"M-Marco?" she squeaked.

The boy in question blinked, still trying to regain his bearings - he was laying on the sofa, with Star practically straddling his lap and both hands gripping his shoulders, the snuggie lumped on the floor, long abandoned. The movie was still playing, though its warble was veritable white noise to everything else around them. The television hugged Star's side in a glow, her blue gaze piercing the shadows and boring into Marco's.

He couldn't help the roiling in his gut - Marco had never seen Star look so worried before, and if it were a monster attack she would oftentimes just yank Marco (quite literally) out of bed, telling him to "stop messing around."

But the regular monsters were all dead, and she hadn't gone through the usual motions, which likely meant there were no monsters, which meant... that Marco had no idea what got his best friend so scared. And it couldn't possibly be the movie, unless Star was afraid of bad special effects.

"Star-" he croaked; Marco cleared his throat, and with concern in a clear, quiet voice he asked his friend, "Star, what's wrong? Is everything okay?"

Princess Star gave a look as though he just asked whether or not she had any feelings for Tom. "Am _I_ okay?!" she hissed. "Yeah-yeah-yeah, I'm just peaches and cream right now, Marco! Totally! It's not every day you hear your best friend _crying_ in his sleep!" Star shook her head, eyes squeezed shut and ignoring the shock that slowly overtook Marco's features. She moved to sit beside him, hands clasped in her lap and ankles crossing and uncrossing compulsively.

"I was so worried when you couldn't wake up." Her voice was quiet.

Marco's voice near-caught in his throat. "You said ' _couldn't_?'"

"I thought you were _cursed_ or something, I was about to run up and grab my spellbook." Star gave a laugh that sounded so forced, it had the exact opposite of its intended effect. Star seemed to realize this herself, and she went back to studying the carpet between her stocking-clad feet.

Star whispered, "Marco," in a low voice, "what was that?"

"I... I don't..." stammered Marco, trying to organize the mess in his head. It was too much information assaulting his still half-asleep brain - he was crying while sleeping? And Star had trouble just waking him up? Even worse, Marco had not a clue as to what Star could be talking about, nothing about his dreams came to mind.

Every attempt to process it all just made Marco see Star's terrified face from when he first woke up, and something awful gnawed at his insides when it surfaced.

"Star, it's fine, I'm okay." He spoke as gently as he could, both to calm his friend and steady his own shaking - what Star told him was troubling, and he could only imagine how scary it must have looked on her end.

The wary look she was now giving him said it all.

"I am, really!" he cried. "Star, I swear, I don't even remember what I was dreaming about."

The princess waved her hands, "That doesn't even make any sense!"

"Star, since when did _anything_ in our lives make sense?"

"But you were literally just asleep, wiggling around and sobbing all softly and, and, _GUH!_ I don't even know, Marco! It wasn't as bad as last night, and if you can't remember what you dream about then maybe there's something actually wrong here and I just can't stop thinking that maybe it's all because...! Because..." Though bursting with energy as usual, Star's ramblings trailed off into a defeated sigh; she eyed her fingers twiddling about in her lap, face wrenched with shame.

Marco watched his best friend, his chest infected by a dull ache at the sight of her. Confusion was what made him not speak right away, but something Star said echoed in his mind, and suddenly he felt a click within him.

Gently, he asked, "You're saying I was like this last night?"

Star nodded slow, then lifted her concerned gaze to meet his own.

He realized that that must have been why she was there to awaken him this morning. Marco groaned, rubbing the heel of his palm into his eye, brain wracking for any inkling of a memory all the while. When none came, Marco, still slouched over, looked back to Star and mirrored her worried expression.

Rationalize it as he might, Marco could not escape the reality: this girl, this _princess,_ was worrying herself sick over the existence of an issue he was not even aware of.

Just what kind of use was he?

"Well... this really stinks, huh?" prompted Marco, trying to at the very least get a hum of agreement from Star Butterfly, hopefully even a playful little shot back; "Like the underside of Ludo's fungo-feet," or something.

Star didn't even nod.

And when she did finally speak, Star's voice was quiet, and her eyes shadowed by her bangs. "Marco? Is... Is everything alright?"

It didn't take a genius to decipher what she was talking about. But for the life of him, Marco couldn't figure out why _she_ was worried about _him._

He was _fine._

He didn't almost lose everything.

Marco said to his best friend, "Star," but stopped himself from going any further, irked with her insistence on looking away from him.

"Star," he said again, is as strong a voice as he could muster. She didn't move. His voice maintaining strength, but pleading to his friend, he said, "Star, _please_ stop blaming yourself. I... I know what Toffee did was horrible, but... but it worked out, you know?" He put a hand on her shoulder, and the girl beneath it did not flinch away, nor respond to the gesture. Taking silence for him to continue, Marco did so. "You beat Ludo once and for all, you've got a new wand," he listed, forcing enthusiasm into his voice despite the bitterness the memories brought to mind.

Marco attempted to say more, but any attempt to dig around in his mind-wallet yielded only a little moth fluttering free. So, Marco couldn't say anymore, nothing that would bring comfort to his friend if he hadn't already.

He could only plead her once again, for all the good his first attempt achieved. "Star... you can't keep focusing on what _might_ have happened. What matters is what did happen, and what _did_ happen was accomplished because of _you_." Ever so slightly, Star lifted her head, as if perking up to listen. Marco's heart rose, relieved to at least see any movement at all.

With sincerity, Marco told Star, "That's why I know things will always work out. Because at the end of the day, you always do the right thing..."

"...You're a _good person,_ Star."

For many long, heart-pounding moments, Star Butterfly said not a word. She didn't even move. Marco had never seen the girl so still. When she did finally move however, it was when her shoulders started trembling, and when she spoke, her voice did as well:

"Marco?"

He scooted closer, ready to wrap her in a hug. "Star..."

She snapped her gaze to meet his, bright blue and shining with tears, saying, "I'm sorry about the sandwich!"

Marco was taken aback, not expecting her to bring _that_ up again. "Wha-? The _sandwich_? S-Star, we talked about this; it was just a little argument, we were both sorry-"

" _I'm-_ " a sob-choked breath, "I'm really, really sorry, Marco..." wept the princess. Gazing hollowly into the end credits of _Army of Darkness,_ she continued, as if not hearing a word he said. In a voice tremulous and grief-stricken she lamented, "I'm sorry... tha-that I almost got you _killed_... 'm s-sorry that we fought over that thing, and... and I'm sorry... that I questioned our friendship, all, all because, of a _s-stupid, little, sa-andwich..._ "

And she couldn't hold it any longer - Star Butterfly erupted into tears.

Marco had his arms around her in an instant, and Star reciprocated twice as fiercely as he, burying her face into his neck, as if fearing he was about to disappear out of the blue. "'m sorry," she whispered, "'m sorry, 'm sorry, 'm sorry, Marco..." like a chant.

Marco could only continue hugging his best friend, rubbing circles on her back, whispering assurances that were empty at best. At best? This was Marco's best, and clearly, it was not enough.

Quick as they came though, Star's crying subsided, but she continued to hold on to Marco and he did the same to her. "I really thought you'd like it," she said, muffled by his chest. "I thought that, maybe, you'd think it was worth all the trouble we went through to get it. But..."

Star pulled away, though she kept her hands resting on Marco's forearm, and with eyes sparkling blue and rimmed with red she said to him, "But you were so right, Marco. Nothing like that is worth dying over. I thought it was, and yet you still think I'm a good person?" Finally, Star smiled, small and tender. "Marco, if anyone's good it's you."

Marco Diaz grew warm, hearing these words, yet his heart could not fully agree. Not yet. "And so are you, Star; you're one of the kindest people I've ever met. Why the doubt all of a sudden?"

Though she smiled at his initial words, Star's mood dropped along with her gaze. "You almost died, Marco. You... Toffee almost..."

"Stop that."

Star's gaze snapped up to meet his one more, wide and stricken, as though his very words just slapped her.

He had his theories while she explained, but the psychologist within Marco was unsure of what Star's true hurt entailed. That is, until she mentioned the name of the sleazy lizard-lawyer. Ignoring the girl's startled expression, he reached out with little thought and grabbed one of Star's delicate princess-hands (although the callouses and little cuts tarnishing their image eloquently disagreed with that description).

With both hands clasping one of her's between them, Marco stared deep into Princess Star's gaze, and told her with all his heart could convey, "It. Was not. Your fault." If she was not so clearly caught off guard by Marco's sudden boldness, Star might have objected.

He reiterated, "It was not your fault. Star, you didn't let me get captured by Toffee. _I_ did, and do you know why that is?"

But Star only continued to stare, her mouth shaped in a little "o" and remaining so, moments after Marco asked her the question.

"Star," he snapped.

"Oh, s-sorry Marco!"

He couldn't help but chuckle, and quietly he heard Star laugh a bit. "It's okay, you're okay. But do you get what I mean, Star? You know why it was my own fault for getting captured like that?"

Star's giggles were tapering off in the midst of Marco's dialogue. Now on the spot, she looked left and right, blankly, before venturing a guess. "Because I dragged you into the craziness of my life and made you a target for my enemies to attack at a moment's notice?"

"Yeah, no." Marco paused, drumming his chin for a moment. "Well, you're not _technically_ wrong. But it goes beyond that!"

Star tilted her head. "How so?"

Marco smiled. "Well, ask yourself, Star! Who's the guy that _wants_ to be a part of all that craziness?"

He could practically hear the realization dawning on Star. "Oh," she replied, quiet at first, but a spell of respite later and a smile came to her face as she echoed, "Oh! I..." Her smile dialed back when she met eyes with Marco, but the sincerity of it remained strong, "I get it."

"You get it?" Marco asked, his spirit rising.

Star nodded. "Yeah, I hear ya, ya cray-cray cutiepie," she teased, bringing up a hand to ruffle his hair; Marco laughed, feebly batting her away and going, "Hey now!"

The princess giggled at his reaction, and Marco did as well, brightening the mood of the room in spite of the darkness enclosing them. Soon enough, the duo were both relaxed enough to sink into the couch, the television across from them displaying the main menu of their movie. It lacked any theme music, so a companionable silence accompanied the ensuing quiet between Star and Marco.

When Star spoke again, her voice did not cut the tranquility like a heated knife, sharp and sudden, but instead it was quiet, bashful, and wholly content:

"You're a great friend, Marco."

He laced his fingers over his aching chest, giving a chuckle that did not anywhere near as earnest a response as Star deserved, but he ignored it anyway. "You too, Star," he said, meaning every ounce of strength it took to admit it.

"You always know just what to say to cheer me up, you know that?" Star turned her head over to face him. "And you're right, like, _all the time_."

He did the same, smiling at her sleepily. "You think so?"

"Always," the princess winked. "And not just about..." she waved her hand indistinctly, "all that. But with all those 'what might have been's and, and alternate outcomes and junk that I was blubbering about before."

Marco nodded, resting his hands on his chest. "What matters is what actually happened, what will _always_..."

_"I don't want your wand. Destroy it."_

_"...Now let Marco go."_

"...happen." Quieter, to himself, Marco recited, "What will always happen."

He nearly missed what Star said, oblivious to her bestie's feelings. "Totes McGoats! Because, you're Marco Diaz: the Safe Kid. I know you're never gonna to let some grubby sandwich-hoarding monster eat us. And _you_ know..." she trailed off, grinning for Marco to continue.

Realizing this, he resumed with a weary smile, "And I know that you'll never let anything happen to me."

"What matters is that we'll always have each other's backs," said Star, recalling a time from not too long ago.

Marco, at the very least, could agree with that. "You said it."

Together, the teens ambled up the stairs to retire for the night, both feeling a warmth in their chest after properly addressing the events at Ludo's castle. Marco's peculiar night terrors were to be a distant, odd memory, quickly forgotten about in the morning, and the day after that, and the one after that.

Little do they know, that this emotional evening was just the calm before the storm.

* * *

_**You didn't think all their issues will just go away with one conversation, did you?** _

_**And it will only get worse from here.** _


	3. Like worrying about you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star and Marco deal with their new situation

At some point, Star approached Marco.

"Heyyy Marcoooo!" The princess skipped and twirled to a stop in front of him.

The boy's chocolate-brown eyes sparkled when the sight of his friend came into view. "What's up, Star?" he posed, setting his book down.

Star's grin never left her face. "Okay, so hear me out: there's this inter-dimensional fight club my dad told me about, and... well, that's pretty much all there is!" Star laughed at herself. "I was thinking we could hop on over and enter as a tag team, whoop some butt-" she said as she performed a little jumping kick, "-and look super cute while doing it. Then maybe we could go to the Bounce Lounge and just chill for a bit? It sounds like fun!"

"...Uh, I'm good, Star. How about we just make some nachos and watch a movie?"

"Who could say 'no' to that~?" sang the princess.

* * *

Star tried again the next morning.

"My main man, Marco!"

Though, it wasn't exactly the same proposition she brought forth.

"Hey, you know, it's been a while since we last fought some ill-intentioned monsters. How about we make take breakfast burritos to go and head on over to Mewni?"

But it was the same principle.

Marco didn't even need to think of an excuse, for he already had one:

"I don't really feel like it, Star. Why don't we see what Janna's doing?"

On any other day, he would have happily said, 'You could go on your own, I won't stop you,' because Marco knew how much Star loved to beat the stuffing out of some dopey monsters, and he knew she could handle herself long before she had magic, before they even met.

And yet now, Marco felt his insides twist up in knots at the thought of what may or may not happen. It would be safer for everyone if he came along too, but Marco knew he was just a liability. And of course, there was the uncertainties of it all - the fact that this won't be just another tussle with Ludo's idiots. It runs the risk of encountering something, or someone, that is actually competent. It could get him killed.

It could get Star hurt.

That alone ran Marco's "safe kid" persona into overdrive. He would never let Star put herself in danger again, not if he could do something about it.

* * *

That same day, Star tried once more to get Marco to go dimension-hopping with her, this time catching him as they were getting off the bus.

"Yeesh, I thought Skullzy would never slow down."

"Right? My hand feels like it should have a carpal tunnel after all that note-taking." Marco flexed his fingers.

Star caught the gesture, and sprang forth in front of Marco's path, backpeddling in step with his own. "Hey, you know what would really help relax those muscles?"

"A bag of ice and taking it easy," Marco recited from memory.

" _Bzzzt!_ Wrong!"

He chuckled. "Okay, then what? And please don't turn my hand into another tentacle."

Star chose to ignore that last part. "Well, you still need to beat Pony Head in a game of 'Lance, Lance, Revolution.' And what's better than finishing off a tiring day at school, learning, than forgetting it all in a mindless video game?"

"I wouldn't mind playing some games," Marco smiled.

"Great!" Star pulled out her pair of dimensional scissors. "Then let's get to St. O's, grab Pony Head, and get our butts over to the Amethyst Arcade!" But before she could start snipping away the Fabric of Reality, Marco piped up.

"Actually..."

"Whaaat? Come on, Marco! We haven't gone to another dimension since, like... forever!" She was probably about to mention the party at Castle Butterfly, but didn't.

Marco held his hands up, apologetically. "What? I'm sorry, Star. But I'm tired, and I don't feel like going anywhere but home. You could still hang out with Pony Head, though! Don't let me hold you up."

Star's eyes gazed into Marco's, searching. She looked just about ready to protest, but, in a turn that gave even Marco pause, she simply relented. "Alright, fine," groaned Star. She proceeded to cut open a portal and step inside, all with noticeably little energy.

Marco watched the space where Star previously stood, long after the portal disappeared.

* * *

Star wanted to try one last time. Marco had refused her three times now these past couple of days, he couldn't just say 'no' forever.

And Marco knew this, too.

So he walked home from school by himself.

Star sighed internally - 'Okay, okay, okay,' she told herself, 'I get it; too soon.'

And so she didn't ask him when he got home, or the day after that, or the day after that. Star would never ask again until Marco did first.

* * *

_"MARCO!"_

Marco sprang forward, gasping, as if an invisible hand just released its stranglehold around his throat. Darkness greeted him, indicating the time of day as Marco fought to breathe all the while; even though he wasn't drowning, his body was still drenched, pajama shirt sticking to his chest. Sweat, he realized, gasping still as the stuff beaded and trickled down his forehead.

There was a shifting to his left, and suddenly Marco was suddenly back at another time, when he let his guard down in his own room, and allowed several pairs of strong arms grab and haul him to a big glass box. Marco instinctively flinched away, with his hand poised to chop at the space beside him. His feeble blow froze just short of Star Butterfly's pretty face, awash in the dim casting of her cleaved wand, face wrought with concern beyond the veil of tiredness she bore.

A familiar heavy ball settled in Marco's stomach. Finally, he steadied his breathing, and taking one more sweaty gasp he murmured to his best friend, "Again?"

His voice croaked from underuse as well as disbelief.

Star, sweet Star Butterfly, needed only to lower her face and say nothing.

All the while her gaze twitched from the bedspread to her bestie's stare, where one look told all that she was thinking: Star felt bad simply telling Marco the obvious, even though he's the one keeping her up at night.

And then the ball in Marco's stomach erupted, the shrapnel shredding apart his guts, his heart, and his will to continue sitting up.

"Gotta be kidding me..." he muttered, laying back, hands to his face. "I really, _really_ thought I got over this. I really did. Three days of nothing! ...And now we're back to _this_."

A hand grasped his wrist. "Heyyy, that's a new record at least!" said Star, injecting enthusiasm likely to make up for Marco's own - the boy did chuckle, though really it was more for his friend's skill at remaining positive than what she actually said.

What she said just reminded him of how much this sucks. "Was... Was it bad?" Marco asked, dreading the answer no matter what it would be.

"Well..." Star pondered, tapping her wand against her cheek, "you weren't sobbing uncontrollably. That's an A-plus with a smiley face in my book!" Star always seemed to twinkle when she was being her relentlessly cheery self.

But Marco was used to the sight, and the reality of this situation was all too crushing on his spirit. "Can't complain there."

Star frowned, hearing her friend's dismal tone. She twisted the wand in her hands, making its luminescence jerk around Marco's bedroom. "I'm sorry, Marco."

"Why on Earth are you sorry?" Marco wondered, aghast. "You didn't do anything! _I'm_ sorry you keep coming in here, having to wake me up."

Star gave him a funny look, blinking owlishly before the hearts on her cheeks turned to lightbulbs for a moment. With total sincerity when she replied, "And _why_ in the name of Mewni do you think I care about a little bit of sleep?"

Marco gave his friend a long stare, truly expecting this to be a rhetorical question. "O-Oh!" he stuttered, realizing. "Uh..." But nothing came; Star was Star, she did what she wanted, after all.

And she knew this, for Star smiled in response to Marco's silence, and waved a hand in dismissal. "You don't gotta worry about little ol' me, Marco."

Yet Star, out cold and snoring through the dismissal bell in class the other day, was still fresh in his mind. "You sure?" he wondered.

"Not a bit!" Star replied with hammy silliness that Marco finally relented and snickered at, which made Star grin. "Nope, nada, zero and zilch with a zucchini on top. Because this?" A hand on his shoulder, "This is all about _you_ , Marco Diaz; you have the memory loss, you have the night terrors, and _I'm_..." slowly, surely, her face turned crestfallen, "...I'm sorry, that... you have to deal with this on your own."

And with those words spoken, Marco's amusement became short-lived, for he knew what Star was referring to. "That's it, I'm stuck in a time-loop, I know it."

"Wait, really?!" Star snapped toward him, her face stretched with glee.

Marco almost felt bad for having to take it away. "W-What? No!"

"Aw..."

He had to sympathize though - both he and Star wished it were that easy.

"I'm saying that because it feels like we go through the same shtick every night." Well, every night Marco has had one of these sleeping fits that Star had to wake him up from.

But that might as well be every night.

"I'm just... I don't like it. I don't like what we talk about, I don't like what you're suggesting, and I _really_ hate having to kill your mood." When Star said nothing, Marco continued, looking straight up into the ceiling as he did. Not unkind, he lamented, "I know you come from a place of caring, Star. And believe me, I'm the luckiest guy in the world to have a friend like you."

"Aww!" Star cooed, in that way that made Marco's heart soar.

"But I said 'no,' and my answer is final." _Click-click-click,_ the air conditioning turned on, howling low and forlorn in the quiet of Marco's bedroom.

"Fine," sighed Star, looking off to the side.

In a moment of hypocrisy, Marco wanted to know what was going on in her own head. Probably fuming about how "difficult" and "unreasonable" he was being. Normally, Marco would wave it off as Star not knowing any better, for Mewni had an entirely different culture.

And yet, doesn't Star realize what she's actually suggesting? How invasive that would be?

Marco didn't want to think about it, as much as he didn't want to think about how truly different the two of them were: Star had her future set, and Marco didn't even know what to have for breakfast tomorrow; Star was a princess with the power to blow up a castle, and Marco was just the guy lucky enough to befriend her.

Sometimes, he forgot they were even the same species. And when he did, an accidental brush of the fingers over a wing-shaped indent beneath her dress when they hugged always reminded him.

The seconds ticked by, and he soon felt Star shift and lie down beside him, her head propped up with one hand. She hummed. "It's just, aren't you just a _liiiittle_ bit curious about what's going on in there?"

"Obviously, I am," Marco replied. "But not like this, no."

"Oh, come onnn! I'm super curious about what mysteries bounce around in that noodle of your's every night." Star playfully prodded him in the temple to emphasize her point.

Marco turned his head away, smirking despite himself.

"You're no fun," the princess pouted.

"Do you _really_ want to see what goes on in an adolescent boy's brain? Honestly?" Neither teen could help themselves - Marco was already laughing as he posed his question, and Star burst out almost immediately, her giggling like the melody of a song.

Quickly though, their amusement died down, and the uncomfortable spell of silence returned. And before she could take the chance Marco simply stated aloud, "My answer is still no."

" _Marco Diaz_!"

"Star Butterfly."

Laying at his side, the princess shot him a pointed look. "You're more difficult than Glossaryck sometimes." She spoke as if it were her greatest insult.

"Now _that_ is a badge of honor," said Marco, squirming to get back under the covers. He was jerked back to alertness when his blanket was found to be stuck underneath his friend. "Star, get off."

"Make me," she teased.

Challenged, Marco simply yanked the covers out from underneath his friend, sending her tumbling to the floor with a sharp yelp and him muttering an unapologetic, "Goodnight, Star."

Star's head popped up on the other side. "Marco?"

He answered with a loud, guttural snore.

Huffing, Star stomped out of the room, wand in hand. Though, she kept Marco's door open just a crack.

* * *

Despite the craziness involving Toffee, and the emotional evening that followed, Marco was glad things were going back to normal.

Or, at least, as normal as things could get with Star Butterfly living under the same roof. Not that that was a bad thing! Or that he disliked her presence.

Aside from a small mishap involving Star's new wand and being locked away in her closet, pretty much nude, everything's been low-key; no monster fights, no crazy dimension hopping, no giant celestial bodies threatening to eat the planet.

Although, there was always a "catch" to what _should be_ another mundane activity, for the sheer weirdness Star seemed to attract just by being around kept Marco on his toes. Like how a few weeks ago, Marco finally obtained his red belt alongside Sensei (after fighting a giga-nerd of course), and not long after that, there was a small mishap when teaching Star how to ride a bike, and another when she dumped, no lie, an entire bag of sugar into a burrito. Marco very nearly got a heart attack when she ran off in fear of having to wear an orange jumpsuit (and _not_ the possibility of going to prison).

And Marco had just about given up on enjoying a relaxing day at the park if Star was around, which was pretty much all the time. After their encounter with the talking dog and that crazy warrior chick, Marco learned to just sit back and give a resounding "whatever" to the shenanigans that ensued around them.

In truth, Marco was wholly glad things between him and Star did not strain. Seeing her reduced to tears because of _him_... Marco immediately purged the thought, filed the image away deep within his mind, never to be seen again.

Secretly, he had trouble falling asleep the night him and Star had their talk. Even though they talked out their feelings and ended Friendship Friday on a sweet note, an awful gnawing jabbed at Marco's insides whenever he thought back on that night.

But nothing came of it - him and Star were close as ever, and their days together returned to a state of what Marco could _try_ calling normal.

Now if only he could say the same about the nights.

_"Please Marco, please, wake up..."_

Gently, his eyes fluttered open.

Marco's breaths were long and labored, struggling to bypass the weight pressing down on his person, and when he tried to claw away the spiders on his arms, his sides and belly, found himself restrained with his hands pinned above his head.

All he heard was the sound of Star, chanting over and over again, like a spell, "I'm here for you, Marco. I'm here, it's okay, I'm right here."

He was stricken - just how did they get into this mess?

Marco had to think for a moment about what mess he himself was referring to. But nothing came immediately, and his best friend was currently seated on his stomach, clearly shaken. "S-Star?" he called out, gently.

On her pallid face, grew a weary smile. "Oh, thank goodness," she sighed, dropping her face, as well as her hands, back down - landing just underneath Marco's chin. He glanced to, and then fro, before proceeding to rake his fingers through her ever-tangled golden locks.

His strokes played at a long, steady rhythm. No words were spoken - Marco didn't want to know how bad this one was, and he had a hunch Star didn't want to relive it.

* * *

"Since when did I have to start worrying about you?"

"You don't have to - I can worry for the both of us."

"Tch. Yeah, you'd like that, Safe Kid."

They shared a weak chuckle, but it was just that - _weak_.

Star laid beside Marco, one hand beneath his pillow, which they were currently sharing. The other clutched her wand, aglow with a light pink and soft as the sunset, tapping habitually against her hip.

The silence lasted at least five seconds before she began, "Sooo... I'm guessing the answer is finally 'yes,' and you're going to ask me to help you? Yes-yes?"

"Star..." Marco warned, turning his head to face her.

"Cheese and crackers, Marco! Ugh!" She flopped over to her back. "This is getting a ridiculous!"

Star awaited for her bestie to give a reply, to explain for the umpteenth time why he is choosing to be such a stubborn mule.

And she waited.

And waited some more.

Star quickly whipped her gaze onto Marco - he continued to lie on his back, fingers laced over his chest as he stared contemplatively into the shadowed ceiling of his bedroom. He said nothing in response, for there was nothing more or new to say. Marco has made his case, and he wasn't going to argue anymore.

But Star Butterfly would let her wand fall into the hands of Ludo before she even _considered_ giving up on Marco.

She placed the wand in the slim space between them and turned back over to her side, silently, which was enough to grab Marco's attention and lock gazes.

Once, when they were sharing a bathroom for the first time, Marco told Star that eyes were windows to the soul. She had no idea how humans came to reach such a conclusion, but if it were literal, then Marco's would be wide open in the middle of a storm: alert as ever, and kind as they were the day he met her, but now there was more - they were tired, and incredibly sad.

Star wondered if it was her soul that was crying out whenever she looked into Marco's eyes, and, maybe, if his own soul was crying out for her's.

Tenderly, Star reached out to grasp his hand in her own. He did not resist, but he gazed upon her with a somber gaze, or, perhaps, an ashamed one. But this was not his fault, and Star didn't think badly of him for even a second.

She just wanted to help her best friend.

* * *

She started rubbing her thumb over his knuckles in small, comforting little circles. "Please Marco, just let me-"

"Star." He dropped his hands, and turned fully to look his friend in the eye.

Looking into her blue eyes, they were wide and worried; Marco had to force himself to meet Star's gaze as he told her, "I said so many times that I didn't want you to." He made sure that his tone did not sound unkind. Star only wanted to help, after all.

And that was the kicker - Star _wanted_ to help her best friend. She _wanted_ him to have a good night's sleep. Yet, in spite of his protests, she was still willing to be there every time to wake him up. She was always so selfless, and that made Marco feel all the worse when he had to repeatedly decline.

"But I can _help_ you," Star pressed, _pleaded._ And sometimes, in a flash of guilt and desperation, he considered accepting... if only to help ease Star's worries.

But then, Marco would remember what _exactly_ Star was asking.

"Star, just... no, Star, I don't want you doing that kind of magic on me. It sounds incredibly dangerous, not to mention, really _weird._ " He forced a smile, though Marco himself didn't know why; to ease Star's worries, right?

But the princess saw through his efforts, for she wasn't a fool, and she was strong-willed to a degree Marco felt personally ashamed of. Yet her pride was as fragile as her namesake, and to his reasoning, she frowned, "Is it because you think I'll mess it up? I've gotten better."

"Don't be silly, I know you have." And that was a fact - Star had come a long way from conjuring flaming rainbows, cleaved wand notwithstanding. Though, even if it didn't have the slew of problems its been experiencing these recent weeks, Marco would still decline her offer every time.

Every. Time.

Star Butterfly was not done yet, and Marco had the distinct feeling that one of them was going to end up in tears in the next five minutes. "Then, what, you're worried I'll see something bad and make things worse?"

"That's not the reason, Star." Well, it wasn't the _main_ reason. "You know that."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the princess droned, her finger listlessly tracing the star's cleaved outline on her wand. "It's just... I don't know, it just feels like you don't..." her fist suddenly balled, "I won't do anything bad! I promise! And, And you'll get better, and I can see what's wrong a-and... Don't... Don't you _trust_ me anymore, Marco?"

"With my life. That still isn't the problem. We've talked about this, Star; you _know_ why I don't feel comfortable with you zapping yourself into my brain and seeing Lord knows _what_ in there. I don't know what else to tell you."

Now, finally, Star Butterfly furrowed her brows. "So, whatcha gonna do, Marco? Hm? We're just gonna do this every night until magic happens on its own?"

Marco gave her a flat stare. "You could just stop coming in here, you know."

Star, of course, felt hurt by the mere idea of such a thing. She put a hand against the crescent moon of her nightie. "And what kind of best bud would I be if I just up and abandoned you like that?"

Marco had to suppress a chuckle. "A well-rested one?"

"I'm trying to be serious for once!"

"And so am I! Well, continuing to be, in my case." A fuming silence greeted him.

Star groaned and rolled over to her back, pouting all the while. Yet both teens knew Marco's words held truth; this nightly ritual of their's had taken its toll on the princess. In class, he would see her from the corner of his eye, yawning into her hand, propping her head on her hand; her grades, somehow, had gotten to be worse than usual. At home, Star would sometimes pass out on the couch watching television, or in her room before dinner was even served. Of course, this only happened on the nights Marco had one of his episodes.

"Honestly Star, it's not bad." The look Star gave him practically screamed, "HOW?!" except Star was probably too shocked to properly voice it. Marco had to admit, he wasn't thinking when he blurted that out.

He explained, "I wake up just fine anyways. I mean, I don't even remember what I dream about! And, it's not like this happens _every_ night."

He was scraping, and Star knew it.

"But this's been going on for _three weeks_ , Marco."

"What if you just let this play out one night?" The look Star gave him instantly made Marco feel stupid. "Yeah, you're right. Not a real solution-"

Marco froze, which Star noticed instantly. She pushed herself up into a sitting position. "Marco?" she looked down at him.

'A real solution,' his mind echoed. "Why don't we try something else?" he wondered, moving so he was upright beside Star, who hugged her legs close while he sat crisscross.

"You mean, there's a way we could fix this?" she asked, grinning behind her knees.

Marco couldn't help but smile too - he didn't know why this hadn't occurred to him before. "Well, it's a start. I don't want you rooting around in my noggin, and you don't want me to deal with this anymore. And to be honest, neither do I."

Star sidled up beside him, giving him a sly look. "So what's the attack plan, bestie?"

Marco snickered at the silly giggling and slight red that overcame Star's face when he asked, "You remember 'Dr. Marco, PhD?' Well, there's someone like that who works at Echo Creek High..."

* * *

_**Alright, Marco's going to get help from the school psychologist. Something interesting: the last three "sections" of this chapter, where Star and Marco lied in bed, I left the progression of time purposely vague there so it could be interpreted as either three separate nights, or all taking place in the same night.** _

_**This was done to convey the feeling that Star and Marco go through this same shtick every night.** _

_**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Reviews and Favorites are always appreciated** _


	4. Like talking about our feelings (pt 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco sees the school psychiatrist, and is forced to think about his best friend's actions.

The school therapist's office felt distinct from anything else in Echo Creek High, it was like a dimension in of itself - a sharp, sugary scent of vanilla permeated throughout, courtesy of a Yankee Candle with the lid popped off; a big recliner sat in the corner of the room, and a sofa adjacent to it, which Marco was currently lounged across. On the desk was an assortment of personal affections: photos of loved ones, a monitor powered off but its border positively alive with childish-looking stickers, hearts and flowers and the like, and strewn about the workspace were various crafts that could have only been cobbled together by the hands of a little one. And, of course, there was the tried and true candy jar, currently offering an assortment of jelly beans.

Against the windows, the blinds were drawn shut, hugging the room in a deep, comfortable darkness. Daggers of pale light pierced wherever they could, but with the overcast sky draped over Echo Creek this morning, their strength was negligible.

"So, what do you think, Doc?" Marco asked. "Any ideas?"

Beside him in a swivel chair sat the school psychologist: a young woman with sunshine for hair, and a heart-shaped face. Her attire was a respectable combo of a cream-colored pencil skirt and a blouse mimicking denim material. "Allow me to be completely honest with you, Mr. Diaz," she said in a sweet little voice, "this is unlike anything I've ever heard of before."

"I know, I know, all the magical stuff is kinda hard to believe. But trust me, if that were the problem I'm sure Star and I would've found the root of it all by now." Marco gestured with his hands. "The fact that we _haven't_ , well... it makes us think this is something more _grounded_ , if you catch my drift."

A smirk. "Consider your drift caught, Mr. Diaz. But that isn't what I meant - I was more referring to your _case,_ not the craziness you and Miss Butterfly partake in daily." A smile Marco considered to be a fond one came upon her lips. "I think everyone here is used to Miss Butterfly's antics. What, with the football game a couple months back-"

Marco cringed at the memory. "Yeah, well, that was mostly my-"

"-and that really weird day, you know, with the purple webbing everywhere?"

"Uh, yeah..." Marco cast his gaze aside.

The psychologist caught this, and subtly, the friendliness in her eyes faded. Her brows furrowed with concern. "Marco?"

"Yes, Dr. Majesty?"

"...I'm _not_ a sleep specialist," she admitted, regrettably, "but I'm afraid your case isn't something that can be treated with modern medicine. The... issue at hand: these fitful sleeps, difficulty awakening to an outside source and the complete lack of any dream recollection all adds up to a picture that I, nor any self-respecting psychologist in Echo Creek, can help you with. If I may be frank, your case sounds positively otherworldly." Dr. Majesty peered her green eyes over a pair of half-moon spectacles. "Do you catch _my_ drift? _"_

"I guess." Marco's squirming told the truth though, but he could not help himself underneath her scrutiny - the sincerity she exuded was undeniably intense. It reminded him so much of Star, in a way.

It made his insides writhe.

Marco sighed. "Doc, can I be honest with you?"

Dr. Majesty leaned in a little with a nod. "Of course, Marco."

The boy couldn't help but flush - obviously, she would want him to be honest with her. If he wasn't, there would be no point in coming here at all - yet, that was the root of the problem as well.

"Alright," he sighed, and then began: "To be honest, I only came here to make Star feel better. I mean, yeah, I _was_ hoping to get some answers, but..."

"...But you doubted the school psychologist could offer any valuable insight with your issue," Majesty finished, smirking.

Marco couldn't help but don a rueful smile. "Not as vicious as I'd put it, but..."

The doctor laughed into her hand. "Oh, Marco! You're too gallant." That just made him blush and chuckle nervously alongside her. When she calmed down, Dr. Majesty picked up the clipboard placed by her feet. Upon it, a series of papers she had scribbled on while Marco regaled his story to her.

"Let's not throw in the towel just yet," she said with a click of the pen. "I may not be an oneiromancer, but I'm still a psychologist, and I can help." Her lips began to move as she quietly reread whatever it was that she wrote.

All the while Marco nodded, understanding - Dr. Majesty, unlike him, was an actual psychologist, her knowledge not limited to a high school classroom; she picked at people's brains for a living for crying out loud! She was even an official PhD, a title Marco still did not fully understand, but was of obvious importance, as evidenced by its marking on a certificate framed and hanging on the wall behind her.

"Okay," he said, cautiously optimistic. "Alright, so, what do you think is the problem?"

Dr. Majesty looked up from whatever she was reading, green eyes twinkling. "To start, I want to ask you some questions, Marco."

"Okay," he immediately replied, right before Majesty could reiterate, "Personal questions."

His wary smile fell completely upon processing this. "Wait, personal questions? Like what?" Immediately his brain flashed to a worst case scenario - his crush on Jackie, his crippling lack of self-esteem, his fears of the future.

But with a kindly smile Dr. Majesty said to him, "Just about recent events. The nitty gritty of it all, as it were." Marco nodded, though weariness still gnawed at him like a disease. "If I ask anything too probing, or anything you feel uncomfortable answering, just say the word and I'll drop the question like _that_ ," she snapped her fingers. "Are you okay with this, Marco?"

Feeling quite goose-like, the boy nodded once more and settled deeper into the couch. "Fire away, Doc."

"I would like to start from the beginning," she announced.

Marco shifted his gaze to her, brow quirked. "The beginning? Of what, exactly?" Immediately his mind flickered images of a girl chomping down on a water-fountain, then in a flash of light she was demolishing his bedroom. She went out of her way to find him, to apologize, sincerely. Marco faintly recalled a stirring within him, perhaps empathy for this weird girl with honey for hair and hearts tattooed to her cheeks. He could never be sure what exactly though, for a horde of monstrous creatures appeared with the intention of hurting her. At the time, Marco did not realize how capable this girl was - he just lunged as they did, determined to protect her. He quickly found out underneath all that fair skin, the magical princess had serious muscle, magic, and she was nimble as an alleyway cat.

A big, glomming hug cemented their friendship forever after, and Marco suddenly felt a chill shoot down his spine.

"So," Dr. Majesty began, skimming her eyes across the clipboard to and fro, "you're telling me this all began _after_ an encounter with your monsters, some three weeks ago at the end of March. From what I understand, this is the same organization trying to steal Star's magic. You two fight them on an almost weekly basis, is all of that correct?"

"Fought."

Majesty glanced up. "What was that?"

It took a moment for Marco to realize she was talking to him. He blinked, realizing he spoke aloud. "F-Fought," he clarified, suddenly, weirdly ashamed. "We, We used to fight these guys, all the time. Now... not so much."

"What changed?" Marco stared up into the ceiling, thinking while drumming his fingers upon his chest. Dr. Majesty frowned. "I'm sorry." She sounded genuinely repentant. "We don't have to relive these memories, Marco. Not if you're uncomfortable."

"No, no," Marco sat up, waving off his hand in an assuring manner. "It's nothing bad, not really, at least aside from Star almost losing her wand but _that all turned out okay anyways heh-heh-ha._ "

Marco had to gasp - he'd spoken very quickly.

Almost urgently.

And to that, Dr. Majesty tilted her head. "Aaand you weren't hurt at all?"

"No," Marco quickly said. Then, "Well, almost. Kinda... The whole reason why this happened at all is because I was..." Marco looked off to the side, his chin sinking into the folds of his hoodie, the shame of that night still heavy on heart and conscience. "I... they got the drop on me. They kidnapped me and wanted to ransom for Star's wand. If not? Well..." Marco, deciding to spare this sweet doctor the grisly details, instead dragged his thumb across his throat, making a crude, " _Shlick,"_ sound.

Majesty reeled back, her eyes wide. "Goodness, you were a bartering chip? That must have been scary."

A great sigh expelled through his nose.

"Nah, not really," Marco replied honestly, giving his most assuring smile. "I knew Star would be able to handle them all, no sweat. And she did! A few magic blasts here, a bit of butt-kicking there; these monsters? They might have had actual brains with the new guy in charge, sure, but they still couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag if you ask me."

Majesty nodded, understanding. "But we wouldn't be talking about this right now if things turned out okay," she said.

"Yeah." Marco let out a sigh, and with it, a feeble attempt at expelling the repulsive feelings sloshing about in his stomach. In a quiet voice he said, "Star had to give up her wand to save me."

The therapist blinked, taken aback. "Just like that? Was there some monster she couldn't defeat on her own?"

 _Death, I guess._ "You could say that." Marco shrugged, then lifted his gaze to meet Majesty's.

The doctor continued, not realizing. "Was there something specific this monster said that disturbed you, Marco? Or did something that you haven't been able to get off your mind?"

"They threatened to crush me." Marco spoke in a quiet voice. The silence following was crypt-quiet.

 _So much for sparing the details. You sure Starred this one up, Diaz._ That little recall from times simpler ignited something within Marco, something comforting, however fleeting.

He lowered his gaze once more, looking off to the side, while Dr. Majesty gazed at the boy as she absorbed this. After a beat she said to him, "I can't imagine how terrifying that must have been, Marco."

 _She thinks that that's what I'm thinking about._ Marco almost wanted to laugh - a bitter, barking thing, but he knew he was better than that.

"Not as scary as watching Star give up her wand. She just couldn't free me from that... that big, _stupid_ glass box!" Marco glanced aside, nasty thoughts that always clawed at the back of his head, ever since that faithful day in Ludo's keep, were finally surging forth. "It was so, _stupidly_ easy to get us like this, Doc! To get me and her into this _awful_ position that any guy with the brain of your average Saturday-morning cartoon villain could go and do again! That is, _if they get the drop on_ me! You got any idea how that makes me feel? To be the one thing that puts your best friend in danger?"

"Mr. Diaz-"

"And lizard guy, the creep, he pressed a button to start lowering the ceiling above my head. And to save _me,_ he asked Star to give up her wand... Do you know what she did, Dr. Majesty? Do you know what Star did in response?" Marco gasped - he did not realize he had begun to cry, and he held his tears by strength of will.

Strength in the locking gaze of Dr. Majesty, intent on getting a read of something past the haunted look adorning her delicate features. In a low, steady voice she asked, "What did Star do, Marco?"

Marco wiped a sleeve across his eyes. "She gave it to him," he said simply, as if one were commenting on the weather. "The most powerful object in the universe, just dropped on his plate without a second of thought. All because of _me._ " The very words felt like vinegar in Marco's mouth.

He was so lost in thought that, although he heard, he did not _listen_ to Dr. Majesty as she remarked, "Why not, 'all _for_ you?'"

"Why did she do it?" Marco wondered aloud, his chest tightening. "I just... God, I don't _understand_. I do, Star wanted to save me. And I don't fault her for that, heck no! But... doesn't she realize what would have happened to her if he didn't want the wand destroyed? To her family?"

To that, the woman's eyes went suddenly, subtly wide, as if something abrupt dawned upon her. This went unnoticed by Marco, who continued, "Can you imagine what would happen if the most powerful artifact in the world fell into the wrong hands?"

"...I cannot," Majesty replied.

"I don't really want to myself. Luckily though, Star wasn't ever going to let that happen."

"I assume she didn't, considering we're all still standing here." Majesty spoke injected positivity into her tone, to try and alleviate the tension. Marco, however, swallowed her words along with the lump in his throat, processing what seemed like an obvious remark by the good doctor.

She could practically see the "download complete" flash across his face when he finally returned her a look and she saw the shine return to Marco's eyes, as if he suddenly emerged from a dark pit that swallowed him.

Dr. Majesty found it blood-chilling, but waved it off as Marco being a very passionate young boy.

"I-I am so, so sorry about that, Doctor," he lamented with all his heart. "That... I don't know where that came from. Guess I've been bottling that up for a while." He spoke with a weary, forced laugh as a hand rubbed the back of his head.

Dr. Majesty however smiled kindly at him. "It's why I'm here, Marco."

Marco laid his head back and sank into the couch, thoughts aswirl. "That was just so... so _weird_ though. I've never dwelled on something like that before."

"You're growing up, Marco. You're not only seeing more of the world, but noticing it, too."

Marco was unsure of what precisely the doctor meant, but understood enough for it to click inside. "I suppose you're right. It's just that, Star and I are in dangerous situations all the time, and nothing happened! This time was no different, structurally. And nothing happened! Star saved me, like she always does. So it doesn't matter!" The mysterious adrenaline that coursed through Marco's chest and arms dissipated, gathered in his gut, and then settled in its deepest pits. He stared holes into the carpet between his shoes.

"Does it, Marco?"

The doctor had spoken so softly, although Marco heard every word she said. Yet, he did not understand. "What?"

"Does what happened matter, Marco?" Majesty had her arms crossed over her knee, and she was leaning towards him, a sympathetic glint in her eyes. "I will not pretend to know all that transpired in this conflict. But it seems to me that something about it bothered you, _still_ bothers you, I should say." Her head tilted, ever so slightly. "Is that correct?"

A voice, inside Marco's own thoughts whispered from within, _'There is much that bothers you, something that just keeps on coming back, coming and coming and coming, every time you are left alone, every time you shut your eyes. Because that princess, that sweet princess that is your best friend in the world...'_

"She blew them all up..."

"...like swatting a _fly_."

_'And Star has always been like this.'_

* * *

**IMPORTANT: Hello people - sorry I have not posted as frequently as we all would have liked. Especially with a chapter where not a lot of plot happened.**

**This chapter was meant to be longer, but I see that word count and I know it would have taken me longer, plus people usually prefer shorter chapters than long ones.**

**To remedy this, in the future I will be making shorter chapters such as this that will progress the plot and characters little by little each time that will hopefully appear more frequently.**

**Thanks for all 40+ who have decided to follow this story.**


	5. Like talking about our feelings (pt 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco reminisces about the party following Toffee's defeat.

Dr. Majesty looked quite taken aback by Marco's revelation. "You mean Star?"

After a beat, he nodded his head a single time - Marco's eyes were focusing on something not in the room.

"Star Butterfly, Echo Creek's sweetheart, killed a bunch of monsters? By...?"

"Her wand," Marco clarified. "She was asked to destroy it, and the spell she performed was some kinda energy-charged blast. Wiped out _everything -_ the castle, lizard-guy... I saw some monsters try running away, but..." Marco shook his head, then met the doctor's gaze with a mirthless chuckle. "Even I couldn't escape something like that. Not without a pair of _wings_ at least."

"I'm not sure how to feel about this, Mr. Diaz."

Another laugh, this one more bitter than the last: " _Tch_ , you're telling _me_."

For several moments, Dr. Majesty said not a word, absorbing this. That was perfectly fine by Marco; at that moment, he wanted nothing more than to retreat into his hoodie and forget about ever coming here.

But he was here now.

And from that Star-like gleam in Dr. Majesty's eyes, Marco knew there was no escape. Even if he physically got up and walked out of the office, his soul would be left behind on the couch along with any hope of resolving these issues.

Like it or not, Marco Diaz was forced to face a monster he could not beat with his fists, or alongside his best friend Star.

Finally, after pondering how to approach the doctor asked the obvious, "And did you ever have a talk with Star about this?"

"It'd be pointless." The surprised look shot his way made Marco retreat a couple steps. He waved his hands to her, saying, "Wait, wait," he laughed, "that is _not_ what I meant! I didn't mean to sound like a mope, no-no, no, what I _meant_ was..." Marco twisted his hand around, trying to put his feelings into words. "Well, just think about where Star comes from! She's a princess who was taught to snap someone's neck when she was three, from a land that has a national holiday celebrating the slaughter of a people."

Majesty had an amused quirk in her lip. "That... doesn't sound so different from us, Mr. Diaz," she said.

"Yeah, except on Thanksgiving we play football, not reenact 'The Great Indian Massacre.'" His response made Dr. Majesty burst out laughing without any warning. Replaying it in his head, Marco soon followed, the sheer absurdity of it all being too much to bear any longer.

Though, in truth, this just circled back to Marco's original point. "But, do you get what I mean?" he asked as the doctor wiped a tear from her eye. "Star just, she comes from a land where stuff like that is normal, where it's _celebrated,_ where, where it's a past time! Heck, half the fun Star and I like to have involves violence in some way. And, no, that is totally fine! I get it, that's how Mewni is, and Star is..." a sigh, "Star just _is._ And it would just be awkward and uncomfortable if I bring it up with her."

"How could you be so sure, Marco? From what I hear, Star is a very compassionate young lady."

"I, I just _know,_ y-you know? I tried talking to Star about it actually, when we had the big party at her family's castle after all the craziness happened. It didn't really bother me at the time, not immediately; I was more worried about _Star,_ actually. I couldn't help but think how she might be feeling, on top of everything else that happened and, well, _almost_ happened..."

* * *

Marco leaned a shoulder against the window, one of many lining the wall of Castle Mewni's ballroom: ten times his height, and three men the size of his father could walk through abreast.

From here, the young boy had premier viewing of Mewni's three moons ascending into the sky. One was so huge it seemingly took up half the sky, while another appeared no bigger than his home dimension's own moon.

 _My home dimension's own moon._ The phrase echoed in Marco's head, and gave him an excited chill.

God, he loved that he met Star.

His heart warming, Marco pushed himself away from the window and turned, met with the ballroom hosting a couple dozen individuals. The party was last minute; officially, it was thrown to commemorate Princess Star's victory against the monsters, and unofficially it was at Star's request.

Therefore, the attendees were just a few of the King and Queen's close friends, and primarily comprised of castle staff. It was another request from Star, not that they were complaining. A quick scan of the room showed everything going nicely.

Closer to the center was Queen Moon, a woman Marco was sure she did not like him, if the pointed glares he could see and feel from across the ballroom were an indication. He was not sure what he did though. At first he assumed it was because he could be considered "lowly" in their eyes, but then he saw her getting along with his mother, Angie, almost as well as "their men" did each other. Even now Angie was a part of Moon's flock among various other ladies, both of the court and not. Though, what they were talking about remained a mystery, but Marco had seen enough chick-flicks to know that girls do not laugh like _that_ when discussing the welfare of a kingdom, or knitting.

Marco spotted King River and his father, Rafael, chatting amicably with similarly-built men, who the boy could only assume were castle guards, if their "formal wear" of simple clothes were anything to go by.

When Marco and Star split up to mingle for a bit, to them is where he went. Although Marco knew the fathers to be kind men, and that he faced far more terrifying things these last few months, he could not shake preconceived anxiety of approaching men so much more impressive than him, both strength-wise and, well, _man-wise_.

But, of course, this was not Earth, and these were men who actually _respected_ Marco. And apparently, Star was affectionately called "Little Butterfly" around the barracks.

"You're Little Butterfly's closest companion," one had said to him. "Anybody who makes her happy makes us happy, too."

A big hand clasped Marco on the shoulder, making him yelp girlishly. "Definitely," said the owner, growling and _right in his ear_ , "and you'd best not make her _un-_ happy. Lest _we_ become unhappy." Marco gulped, but fear lodged itself in his throat and made him unable to reply.

"Do you know what happens when we become unhappy, Earth Turd?"

 _Is that just a slur they call people from the Earth dimension?_ Marco was oddly unmoved by the idea, for he was accustomed to such simple bigotry. It was funny, he later reflected, how creeps like Jeremy could get under his skin so effortlessly, but against baseless racism Marco felt like he was wearing stone armor.

"No," he finally replied, "what?"

"We get angry. And then? We get _violent_." Marco jostled, trying once to shake the hand off but it remained firmly squeezing his shoulder. "Do you understand me, Earthling?"

Slowly, Marco eased himself out of the guardsman's touch. "Well, you don't have to worry about that," he told them, forcing an easygoing smile. "I'll be dealing with anyone who makes Star unhappy from now on."

The one who spoke, a mountain of a man with a scraggly soulpatch on his chin and scars beneath each eye, laughed heartily just before smacking Marco into the ground. Apparently that was supposed to be a pat to the back, but Marco had his suspicions. After that, he got along with the men of the kingdom rather well. Many, along with King River, told Marco and his father about the horrific monsters they hunt for sport, or the somewhat larger, more impressive skirmishes they dealt with from time to time whenever the forces of evil decided to stir. The conversations eventually drifted to Star growing up inside her castle, and as Marco regaled the recent months living with her, and the lively energy she brings to day-to-day life, he could see many of the guards gaining wistful expressions.

"You're going to miss her just as badly as we do, Diaz!" laughed one of them.

Rafael chuckled heartily, "We always do!" while his son only smiled.

After that Marco found himself wandering and, eventually, looking out the window. Recalling what the guard had said, albeit jokingly, made his insides writhe once again, and soon he found himself searching for Princess Star.

Sifting through the partygoers, he eventually found her off to the side of the ballroom, looking quite alone by the buffet table. The spread the Butterflys put out still sent Marco's mouth watering, beholding succulent dishes he had never even seen before, or seen before but never smelled for himself filled the table from end to end: apple-stuffed boar, poached pear, flame-roasted swan, peas porridge and cinnamon porridge and so much more that Marco found himself not eating any of it, for he could not decide what to pick first. Never in his life was there so much food in one place.

He couldn't help but cry out in dismay, much to everyone's amusement, when King Butterfly apologized for the last-minute "peasant-sized" feast. He assured the Diazes that they would be invited to the next "Mew Year" celebration, where a "proper" banquet would be hosted.

As Marco neared Star, coming up from her left where she did not see his approach, he could slowly begin to understand why she was alone, or rather, make out the beginnings of it: his best friend, normally so bubbly and loud and _in-motion,_ was just standing alone, not smiling, and halfheartedly nibbling on some Mewni-made pastry. She wore a baby-blue dress with poofy sleeves, and a heart-embroidered skirt that stopped at the knees, along with a five-pointed crown sitting atop her long, golden locks.

It was a totally different look for Star, and apparently it was what she commonly wore back when she still lived here in Mewni. Try as he might, Marco could not imagine his wild, colorful friend wearing this same dress every day, and that isn't even mentioning how unlike her it was.

_I wonder if she wanted to wear that tonight, or her mom had a hand in it._

Though, he could not begrudge Moon - Star, after all, was a princess, and she should look the part even if she were only going to be home for one night.

And she looked absolutely adorable in that gown anyway. When Marco said as much to Star, he earned himself a punch to the arm.

Maybe that was what she was thinking about? Some argument happened with her mother? Only those could bring Star into one of her funks. Or, perhaps, Marco Diaz should stop convincing himself that the obvious was not true, and that Star clearly, obviously had a lot to think about: _She almost lost her wand. She almost lost me. She probably just killed a lot of people, monsters. Indirectly, sure, but she must be aware that she was the reason._ Marco could only imagine how she must be feeling, for he imagined himself in her shoes and found just the idea to be unbearable on his conscience.

Then again, he would have a great friend like Star by his side to help him through it. And she has him, right?

And there, the real question stood: would Star feel the same? Would her eyes still light up when he entered the room, even though he was the root of all this near-tragedy?

Just as he was about to say her name, Marco hoped she would be happy to see him.

"Star?"

The princess straightened up, making an "Mmf!" of surprise with a few crumbs stuck to her lips. She quickly swallowed whatever she was eating, wiped her mouth and turned to Marco. "Hey, you!" cooed Star Butterfly, bumping shoulders with her bestie.

"Hey," Marco replied, returning the gesture. "Having fun?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! 's good to see everybody again, been a while. _Iiii.._. hope you and your family don't feel too out-of-place! This must be _super_ different from what you're used to back on Earth."

Marco smiled a fond smile - of course, the princess was still happy to see him. He shook his head at his own foolishness. "We're good, Star. I think I have to worry about our dads though - they were probably best friends in some past life, it might be a little hard to separate them." Star laughed at his joke, a light, fluttery sound that made Marco do the same.

A smile remained, even after their laughter subsided. The hearts upon Star's rested above a friendly one of her own. "How 'bout you?" she chirped. "I haven't seen you since the party started, I was afraid all these people were making you have another epic puke-sesh."

"Hey now," Marco waved a finger, "that was car sickness. _Totally_ different thing. It just so happens that we were on a party bus."

"See? And that's what has me confused! You say car sickness, yet we were on a bus; two _toootally_ different things." The princess had an impish grin, and Marco was unsure of whether or not she was messing with him.

So he just palmed his face. "Star... no, that's just not correct, like, at all."

"Whatever you say, 'Wild Man,'" Star quipped, a playful glint in her eye.

Marco chuckled to himself, then looked out toward the mingling partygoers. Here, the two stood - not speaking, nor moving, and yet a million thoughts rang through Marco's head at once. What else could he say? What _should_ he say? Does Star even want to talk about what happened, or does she just want to forget about it?

_She does prefer to avoid problems, sorry, I mean "take breaks" than deal with issues at hand. So... if we want to talk about what needs to be talked about, I just have to be the one to start it._

_Perfect, no sweat!_

Marco's sights were promptly back outside, gazing upon Mewni's trio hanging frighteningly close in the sky. All the while, silence permeated. Not an awkward one, but a silence that radiated with energy, an energy that tugged incessantly at both teens' unbeknownst to one another, asserting that more needed to be said.

It became too much for Star to bear, for she saw Marco gazing outward from the corner of her eye and followed his gaze, turning, before a small smile crept forth as she realized.

"When I was little," she began, voice light and wistful, "I was afraid to go to sleep because I thought it could crash into Mewni at any moment. My dad said that if it tries to, I can just kick it in the jaw and send old Ooden crying back to space. I realize now that that was silly - I can't _actually_ kick a moon if it doesn't have a jaw."

Used to Star and the nuggets she dropped about her strange, wild childhood, only one thing stuck out to Marco amidst that deluge of Star-ness. "...'Ooden?'"

She pointed skyward, to the huge celestial body with an asteroid belt. "Our largest moon. That's his wife Yara, beside him, and their little girl is the itty-bitty baby moon down there. _That's_ Sarah."

"They're beautiful," Marco cooed, his eyes on the heavens. "I can't imagine, being able to see that every night."

"They're okay, I guess!" When no response came, Star looked over and saw her bestie still entranced with the Mewni's moons, his face aglow and in awe. The princess nibbled on her bottom lip, before a small, warming smile came forth and she asked softly, "You really think my... the moon's, I mean, you like them?"

Marco nodded his head. "And no one else on Earth is _ever_ going to see something like this. I'm probably the only one. Can you imagine how lucky I am?"

Star quietly absorbed her friend's words with lips slightly pursed, and eyes as big and wide as the boy's beside her. A slight tinge of red adorned her cheeks, and she laughed easily saying, "I guess having more than one moon _is_ pretty cool!"

Marco could not help himself from chuckling at Star's response. _If only you could see what I see,_ he thought. But, perhaps, Star did see what he saw, every day on Earth; everyday little things he himself considered mundane, Star thought to be the most incredible thing in the universe.

It was just the same for him, but the roles are reversed.

Feeling chatty, and thankful for the spark in conversation, Marco gestured to Ooden's belt. "It's insane that your moon has that."

Star tilted her head, smirking. "How so?"

Marco licked the front of his teeth, thinking of how to explain this in a way that would amuse his best friend. "It's like a badge of honor in the galaxy," he decided. "It shows that Ooden is strong enough to have his own gravitational pull, and is able to have tons of space rocks orbiting it like he does on Mewni. Like our moon back on Earth."

The princess grinned, her eyes alight with delight. "Oooh, I didn't know that!" Star wore a goofy smile as she gave her friend a sidelong look. "You're so smart, Marco Diaz."

The boy laughed as his face went aglow, and he rubbed the back of his head. "Nah, uh, everybody kinda knows that. I'm just the one to, you know... tell you." His voice had gotten very quiet near the end.

Concerningly so.

"Marco?

"Star..."

They both stopped; they had both spoken at the same time.

"You first."

They did it again. The teens looked to one another and exchanged small little chuckles.

Before this game could continue further, Marco decided to just go for the throat. "I saw you over here," he said to her. "You looked upset."

The princess blinked owlishly for a moment, absorbing what he said before realizing he was awaiting a response. "O-Oh, did I?" An enormous, grating chain of forced laughter followed. "You're such a silly Earth-boy, Marco! Everyone _knows_ that in Mewni, it's customary for the princess to stand off to the side and watch the party. I know, it's _suuu-_ per boring."

Star actually pulled off a convincing performance, she spoke with such casualness. _And that's just it,_ he thought to himself; Marco could tell when Star was actually happy and when she was wearing a mask. He would chalk it up to wearing that dress, had recent events no transpired. _Plus, that custom is totally made-up._

Something bothered Star, that much was obvious. Not wishing to see his friend hurt in silence any longer, Marco stepped close beside the princess. He tried to lock eyes with her, but the princess evaded his gaze.

"...Star?" squeaked Marco. "Is everything okay?"

Wetness filled Star's eyes. Her lips crumpled. A deep breath, only to result in a meek, broken, "No..." before falling into his awaiting arms. The princess buried her face into his hoodie, hard - as if trying to hide herself as much as possible. As Marco embraced her fiercely, rocking the gasping princess side to side, very slowly, he cast a brief glance across the ballroom and found that no one was looking directly at them.

To them, it appeared as though Princess Star was sharing a tender moment with her housemate.

"Marco... I..." She deteriorated quickly after that, and Marco merely shushed her and, after managing to fight his way through her hair, rub circles into her back. It was all he could possibly do, but it felt like there was so much more.

He felt so useless.

"You have your wand," he said, quietly, and even quieter, "You saved me, Star. Way more times than I can count. You beat the monsters. You... You did everything you could today, Star. I'm really..." ' _I_ _mpressed?'_ echoed a voice in his head. _That isn't what she wants to hear, and you know it._

"I'm just... really." Marco chuckled softly at how bad he was at this; but he felt his friend's crying stop, although she continued to hold him. Though he was unsure if she was listening or not, he continued, giving her the benefit of the doubt. "I'm really proud of the decisions you've done today, a-and I'm really happy that you're my friend, and I'm really-"

Marco was rambling, he knew, and he would have gone on forever had Princess Star not suddenly pulled away and laid a chaste, sweet little kiss on his cheek, and all thoughts ground to a halt.

"You're such a dork," the princess murmured as she resumed hugging him. "A sweet, brave, caring, amazing dork who is my best friend in the universe."

A jab immediately came to mind, and it was spoken before Marco could stop himself: "Heh... even more than Pony Head?" A fist beat against his shoulder, and Marco laughed as he resumed embracing his best friend in the universe.

* * *

"And what about Star?" Dr. Majesty asked.

Marco continued staring up into the ceiling, a fond, red-faced expression on his face.

"Mr. Diaz?"

"Huh, what?" The doctor tittered, smiling knowingly at the boy. Marco's face flushed with embarrassment. "Er, sorry. I kinda spaced there."

"You got really detailed at the end," she said, clearly finding this to be amusing. "But what of the monsters? I recall you said you tried talking to her at this party about it."

It took a second of thought for it to hit Marco. "O-Oh, right. Forgot about that."

"And?" Majesty egged on.

But Marco could only shrug. "There actually isn't a whole lot to say. We hung out for a bit after that, and I asked her what she was thinking about. I couldn't get a direct answer from Star, but, well, that's just how she is."

"So you don't know for sure?"

"Er... kinda." Marco shrugged, and already he felt the return of that gross feeling inside when he thought about it. Despite all he told himself about cultures and how they differ, Marco, try as he might, could not resist the instinctive feeling he felt when thinking back to that brief exchange. "I asked Star if she thought any of the monsters may have escaped the blast, aside from the one that helped her, who she warned ahead of time."

"I see. And what was her response? I imagine she dismissed the possibility."

 _Not just that._ "She said, 'Hopefully not,' in that really chipper voice, and that was it."

"Right." Dr. Majesty wrote down more upon her clipboard. Much more.


	6. Like talking about our feelings (pt 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco realizes what he needs to do

Dr. Majesty checked her watch. "And how do you feel now, Marco Diaz?"

"I feel like everything could have been worked out sooner if we just, you know, _talked._ " An encroaching darkness threatened to consume Marco Diaz, that is until the blinds were raised and soft, ruddy light filled the room.

His eyes instinctively squinted, although Marco could clearly see the sky accented with burnt-orange hues, and clouds stretched thin in purple streaks. With a start he knew what that meant, even before the doctor sent a guilty smile his way.

"It is getting late, Mr. Diaz."

The clock read 6:02. "Wow, almost three hours." Marco tittered, however feebly, before sheepishness overran his features - he could almost feel the exasperation of Dr. Majesty for this wasted afternoon. "Um, sorry... f-for talking about all this silly stuff, making you stay late and, and whatnot."

"What you feel is never 'silly stuff,' Marco." Dr. Majesty strode across the room and took a seat on the sofa beside Marco, one leg crossed over the other, with her clipboard on her other side. She smiled down on him, sweetly. "And I _know_ 'silly stuff;' I make it my business. What you two have gone through? What you two feel? That is _not_ 'silly stuff.'"

 _Tell that to Star's mother,_ a voice sneered in his head. However rude and untrue, Marco could not deny the thought came from a place of experience - Moon Butterfly was definitely _not_ a warm woman.

"You're a kind, young man, Mr. Diaz. Star is incredibly lucky to have you."

 _Lucky? Tch, doubt it. Happy though, definitely. And I'm glad to know her too._ Marco offered up a subdued smile in kind. "Thanks." It fell quickly. "Still though, wouldn't this all have been avoided if Star and I just _talked_ about what was bothering us?"

"Oh, definitely."

The sudden casualness Majesty spoke with threw Marco off - his gaze jerked up to meet her's, humored and knowing. He was at a loss for words. "But... I thought I didn't waste your time?"

"You didn't!" laughed the doctor.

Marco felt an eye twitch - involuntarily, of course. "Huh? Wh-What?" he eloquently inquired.

Dr. Majesty only smiled. Then, she sighed wistfully. Then, she explained, "You are young, the both of you. You've reached an age where you feel... emotions you do not normally feel. You start to see the world a little differently, perspectives change and ethos once held dear are called into question." Dr. Majesty rose a hand, but did not lower it onto Marco's shoulder until after he nodded. "You are children, teenagers. You are trained to be emotionally aloof, however unintentionally."

She reached for the clipboard, for an envelope hidden beneath the stack of papers.

"And part of _my_ job is to make you aware." The envelope was handed over to Marco.

He beheld it, confused. "What's this for?" He had seen the doctor writing something and folding it into an envelope while he talked, not long after recounting the events of the past three weeks.

"Don't open it," she told him. "Give it to Miss Butterfly. I would like to see her at some point this week, if she is willing of course."

"Okay, sounds good." Dr. Majesty had gotten up and moved over to her desk, where drawer slams punctuated her activity. All the while Marco, after absorbing this, nervously asked, "You aren't going to tell Star what we talked about, are you?"

"Doctor-patient confidentiality, Mr. Diaz!"

"...Right, no duh." He moved to stand up.

"Though, I would not expect that to matter anyway," she said lightly.

Marco paused in his motions. "Wha-What do you mean?"

The doctor turned, wreathed in sunset but her features obscured in shadow. "Well, I expect you'll be having a long conversation with Star Butterfly when you get home, of course."

 _Oh._ "Right," Marco sighed. Of course, he would have to talk to Star. After everything he just told the doctor, and she told him, it was only the obvious next step.

Majesty must have picked up on Marco's dread, for she returned to the chair across from him and leaned in, concerned. "Mr. Diaz?"

Marco evaded her gaze, looking off to the side and shrugging his shoulders lamely. "I'm just not excited for it, is all. I mean, I know I've said Star and I talked about what happened a couple of times, but... the thing with the monsters? And these weird dreams I can't remember? What if, What if I say something wrong and I hurt Star's feelings? Or get into a huge fight!? Oh man, I-I don't know what I would do if I ruined our friendship even _further_..."

Marco could not take it anymore - his entire posture sagged with a deflating sigh. "I..." Marco spoke in a weak voice, "I just wish things between us will go back to normal. Back before I was kidnapped, when we just fought baddies and Star showed me the universe."

"Growing up is messy, Marco," Majesty explained, smiling a fond smile. "It's very messy, full of garbage... but it's also beautiful, in a way, how... we're always _changing_ and _growing_ with the ones we love. And those people? They're the ones who incite the best changes in others, all without ever even realizing it for themselves."

 _'Nature cannot be stopped, that is all!'_ "I heard something like that before." He was mildly startled by a hand touching his shoulder, though his brain told him it was just Dr. Majesty.

"We move forward, Marco. If you fall back, you will forever be lost - never growing, never changing... Just don't totally forget the past, or it will come back with a vengeance." The doctor snorted, then pat him twice before placing both hands in her lap. "Talk to Star, Marco. Talk to her about what has been bothering you, and I can say with certainty that she will be receptive." Majesty tilted her head. "Do you know how I know this, Mr. Diaz?" she asked.

"No, how?"

Dr. Majesty beamed to him warmly. With complete conviction and sincerity, so much so that Marco found himself entranced, mind and soul, as she said to him,

"Because Star loves you."

Immediately Marco's face flushed, becoming red as his hoodie. "We-We're not, we aren't dating, Doctor," he was quick to stutter out.

"I didn't say you were, did I?" Majesty allowed Marco a moment to absorb this, and for shame to render his face a deeper red before adding, "Two people can love one another without being an item, can they not?"

"I-I guess so." Marco still could not help himself, now that Dr. Majesty planted the idea in his head: Star and himself? As boyfriend and girlfriend? Kissing, and-and...

The thought was enough to make Marco want to hurl from anxiety. _No. No way. She's my best friend,_ and _a princess._ Just thinking those prior thoughts made Marco feel like he was overstepping some unspoken boundary.

When Marco did not reply, so clearly in deep thought, Dr. Majesty tilted her head trying to get another view of his face. "You love Star, don't you Marco? As a friend, I mean - I don't want to insinuate anything, _obviously_."

"I guess..." Marco was half-listening, and when he realized what he said he shook his head. "I mean, of course! Obviously, yes! But Star, she's so amazing, and I'm just..."

 _A friendless nobody destined to hurt her?_ said a whisper.

"I'm... I'm so afraid of _losing_ her." Marco slid his hands into his hoodie-pockets, despondent stare on the floor. He allowed the "what" of his meaning behind losing Star to hang in the air.

And for many long moments, Dr. Majesty did not respond. She watched, she bounced her suspended foot slightly, before her gaze slowly dropped to the floor, like Marco's.

Slowly, surely, her expression rose again, this time with an affectionate smile, before flicking completely onto the boy across from her. "Marco, do you know why Star has bent over backwards to help you these past weeks?" She spoke quickly, almost liked she was _excited_. "Why she saved you from those monsters, and why she hurt them for hurting you?"

Marco jerked his gaze onto Dr. Majesty, puzzled lips parted slightly. He replied clumsily, not expecting the sudden change in topic, but he found his voice as his mouth made a near-recited reply: "Because... she cares about me, because we always have each other's back, because she's... she was _worried_ about me," Marco said with realization in his tone. It was so obvious a statement, he knew, but he felt something within him click after saying it aloud.

He recited, more to himself than to anyone in the world, "Of course she's worried about me."

Across from him, Dr. Majesty was nodding, looking quite pleased with Marco's reply (and a little bit with herself as well). "I may not know Miss Butterfly personally, but does that sound like someone with the intention of ever _leaving_ their beloved best friend?"

"No! Of course not..." Marco exhaled. "I-I guess I was being 'the safe kid' again, spazzing over every little thing."

Dr. Majesty tsk'd. "Don't say that about yourself, Marco. We're all willing to do crazy things for the ones we love. You should know that better than anybody."

Grinning shyly, Marco thought to himself, _I guess I have done some pretty dumb stuff because of Jackie..._ Though, how Dr. Majesty knew about her was a mystery in of itself; he did not recall talking about her.

"Talk to Star, Marco - I implore you. I have not had the pleasure of meeting her yet, but I can already tell that Star sounds like a fantastic young woman. Have faith in her, and she will make you proud."

"Right. I will." Marco rose, and his heart as well. "Thank you, Dr. Majesty."

She bowed her head, simpering in a way that made Marco laugh. "And to you as well, Mr. Diaz," she said in a snobby voice. "It's been a genuine, bonafide pleasure."

And Marco continued to giggle to himself long after he left Echo Creek High.


	7. Like talking about our feelings (pt 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco and Star converse about a sensitive topic

The sky was black by the time Marco got home, but his thoughts were no clearer than when he left school.

Having walked the route many times, Marco allowed muscle memory to carry his feet while he focused all thinking on a single task.

That is, how to talk to his best friend.

_"Hey Star. Look, after seeing the school psychologist, I realized there's something we need to talk about."_

That sounded good - it got right to the heart of it, told Star this was a time to be serious. _But would she be receptive to that?_ _Or just continue to goof around?_ Marco wondered. Though he felt bad for thinking such a thing, even Star herself would not blame him for doing so; there was never any telling with her.

 _And there's still the whole dream-thing that Star is worried about, she's definitely going to ask about that._ A lurch shot out in Marco's chest, and he felt his insides squirm - Marco had little doubt she wouldn't at least mention it; it was the entire reason why he saw Dr. Majesty in the first place.

_Oh gosh, Star's probably expecting one session to be some magic cure-all. This is going to be like the fortune cookies all over again, isn't it?_

_...Maybe I can ease into it? Entice her with nachos and then we talk while we eat, make it something casual?_ It would certainly make for a more companionable air.

 _But what to actually say?_ Marco never fancied himself a wordsmith, his failed attempts to even talk to the girl of his dreams stood as righteous testament. _Which means anything casual is going to sound either awkward or forced. Star will notice something's wrong right away._

And he had no intentions of worrying the princess further.

Marco was so intent on that goal, he had forgone the nachos altogether in favor of how to actually tell her he had no answer for his mysterious sleeping fits. _"Now, Dr. Majesty couldn't figure out a way to explain the dreams, but hypothesized that there may be an association with, uh, us..." Star would understand that. She had to._ Otherwise, Marco imagined the just-as-likely scenario of Star blinking at him, staring vacantly.

Scratch that, he would think of something better, later. That was not important right now.

 _I can just bring up the monsters while we eat,_ he decided, suddenly remembering nachos. _But... how would_ that _work out?_ Marco winced as he realized, _What could I even say to transition into this? "So, you know how you have this subconscious dislike of your mother due to her pressuring you into becoming a queen? Well, I may actually be in the same boat except it's... you, and... I may or may not be bothered by your people's attitude towards monsters?"_

Oh, yes. Star Butterfly would take that _real_ well.

Marco shook his head and, without realizing it, groaned aloud in frustration - every time one idea began to take form, he would realize how easily it could fall apart because of just how _"Star"_ Star Butterfly is. He must have went through a dozen half-baked plans before he saw that bulbous tower peaking out at him from down the street.

When he reached the front door however, and still without a proper plan of attack, part of him considered just slipping away into his room and avoiding Star until she had to go back to Mewni.

But then, he would just remember what Dr. Majesty had said to him: "Have faith in Star."

And Marco would tell himself, _I have faith in Star._ It was the first thought of the evening that Marco felt was truly right, deep inside.

He took it as a sign, and entered his home.

Before long, Marco was at the princess's door. He always liked the star-shaped hole cut into the door, with a pair of butterfly wings drawn around it in pink chalk; a cute bit of creativity on her part, while the rest of the markings on her door told the world who Star Butterfly was: "Come in!" said one, with the "o" in the shape of a star, and "Boys Allowed" wreathed in little hearts, which were also doodled all over the door without any real pattern. It drove the obsessive organizer within Marco crazy, but the whole door was just so "Star," in that it exuded a silliness that was innocent and friendly.

And beyond it, near-daily Marco heard the all too familiar _'fwoomp'_ and whimsical cacophony the wand made when casting a spell at least seven times a day - sometimes only five if Star was in a bad mood. Yet today there were voices on the other side; the princess's was distinctive enough, and another spoke who sounded a lot like Sir Glossaryck.

 _Huh, Star's actually studying from her spellbook?_ Marco was unabashedly impressed with her for taking the rare initiative - with him around, or any kind of fun really, Star doesn't just know she has better things to do, she does them, and then challenges the world to stop her.

The only one who could is in a whole other dimension.

_And what are the odds she's going to listen to what Earth Turd has to say about her own home? The one you visited, I mean I visited... what, twice? Did the first time even count?_

Marco could not help himself - he knew, logically, that Star would care, she would listen; heck, she may even understand him. But there was still that Safe Kid within Marco, screaming at him that he may be crossing some unspoken line, that this was a matter greater than either of them, yes, even Star Butterfly, could understand.

 _This is crazy,_ Marco told himself, as the hallway started to spin. _But Dr. Majesty said we all do crazy things for the ones we... we care deeply about._

He still did not feel comfortable with himself, regarding Star so strongly, however powerful his affection for the girl assumed at times.

Marco released air he didn't realize he'd been holding. "Okay," he murmured to himself. Then, he took a deep breath... and exhaled, although it came out strained and grievous. "Alright, alright," he murmured. "No more stalling."

Inhaling sharp and deep through his nose, Marco gripped the doorknob, twisted, and pushed in. There was no need to knock, for privacy was a concept Star and Marco had forgone long ago, when the princess found nothing weird about using the bathroom while he showered (royals, Marco eventually realized, were hardly ever alone).

 _Should greet her first,_ he thought to himself. _That will establish a nice, comfortable atmosphere to have a conversation in._

"Hey Sta- _OOF!_ " Marco was suddenly on the ground, in a small amount of discomfort as something heavy, moist, and, oddly enough, smelling sharply of raspberries tried its very best to turn him into a pancake.

"It worked!" he heard Star exclaim, and before Marco realized it was a narwhal she'd thrown at him, the creature was already gone in a poof of sweet-smelling dust that swirled around him.

Marco tasted the metallic tang of raspberries in his mouth.

Star was in front of him offering a hand before he could analyze how messed up that was. "Sorry, sorry, sorry," she apologized, hoisting him up. Star was grinning though, and prompt in her explanation: "My wand's been acting funky all day. Glossaryck sent me inside to fix it, and I just had-had- _haaaad_ to try it out."

The mental image of Star and Glossaryck dressed like construction workers, fixing some mechanical problem within the wand, was an amusing vision in Marco's head, albeit an unlikely one.

"Well, I can say it's working now." He smiled, ignoring the slight dampness starting to seep into his hoodie. "What was the problem?"

"Oh, Toffee just put one of his fingers in there. He probably did that when I gave him my wand."

"Well, that's pleasant." Marco shook his head, smirking. Memories of being trapped in Star's closet naked and Cloudy running rampant came immediately to mind - definite low-points in his ongoing tenure with Star Butterfly. "Is that why your wand's been malfunctioning ever since?"

The princess shrugged with a cocksure grin. "Probably!" she said with confidence. "I learned some neat stuff though. Like, did you know my mom and Toffee fought once?"

Marco's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. "Really?" Star bobbed her head like a can of spray paint. "Huh... Well, it explains why he had a vendetta against you."

"Sure, sure. Except he's blown up now, and I'm still here. So... good job, Toffee. Bravo." Star applauded, and Marco joined in, nodding in agreement.

"A good try!" he said. "I mean, look at how much he planned - he certainly _tried_."

"Indubitably," she agreed.

"He just didn't try hard enough." That made Star snort, and Marco chuckled himself.

"Well, I can _see_ you two have a lot to talk about," came a voice with grandiose flourish. Star turned, and Marco leaned over to see Glossaryck hovering crisscross above the spellbook as it flipped open to his page in the center. "It has been fun, Princess. Ta-ta, for now!"

"Bye, Glossaryck! Thanks for your help!" Star waved to him.

Marco did the same. "See ya later, Gloss-" _SLAM!_ "-aryck."

 _Well that was rude,_ he thought.

Although his agitation must have been clear on his face, for when Star turned back to him she spoke with sympathy. "Oh, he's just tired. We dealt with a lot of craziness in there." She tilted her head back toward the spellbook, where her wand laid on the floor beside it.

Marco simply shrugged, uncaring. "I guess."

He never really liked Glossaryck, and he was of the belief that it was a mutual opinion, for whatever reason. Marco sometimes thought it was because he just didn't "get it;" he never felt more out of place than when Star delved into _really_ magical stuff, things involving the spellbook's avatar like mewberty and "dipping down," among others he did not truly understand. Although Marco found it all to be very exciting, the guru Star toted as her instructor was better left avoided if possible.

He watched her push the massive tome back underneath her bed, and only then did it occur to Marco that he had yet to actually initiate a conversation on his own, the one that needed to happen, that is. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, Star flipped gracefully into a standing position.

"So, how was your day?"

Silence fell - both asked the same question. The occurrence froze Star in her movements as she looked over her shoulder, and after a moment and a breathy laugh she strode over, Marco meeting her halfway.

"You first," they said, freezing on the spot.

A smirk was shared, albeit with noticeable weariness in both.

Then a beat passed. Followed by another. By the fourth, Marco realized that Star was waiting for him to go, and he was waiting for _something_ other than that very moment to happen as well.

"So, uh... I did the thing," he began.

"The thing has been done!" Star cheered, pumping both fists. "And? What's the scoop?"

"U-Uh, well..." Marco trailed off, unsure of how to begin. _Where to even start?_

It was then that a silence had begun to fester, one that, in a rare occurrence between the two friends, could even be described as _awkward_. Although both tried to hide their true feelings, it showed in spite of their efforts; it showed when Star's eyes slowly darkened, reflecting an emotion far more somber than the little smile forced to her face would want. Her hands were busy, held in front of her heart, grabbing and pulling each finger until a knuckle softly popped.

 _She's nervous,_ Marco realized. _She's nervous and she's waiting for me to get on with it._

Suddenly, Marco felt his face flush with embarrassment, and he palmed his face with a sigh. _Okay..._

"Star-"

"Did the PhD do it?" she suddenly asked, leaning in slightly.

Marco pulled away, blinking. "Wh-What?" he uttered, stupidly.

Slowly, the princess asked, "Did the Pretty Handsome Dude use his mind-karate to defeat the demons inside your skull?" Her anxiety was clear, although Star kicked her feet out a little bit to express this battle, coupled with a classic Star-smile, broad and toothy.

"Star, that's not what-" Marco shook his head. "No, the _psychologist_ was a she, and her name was Dr. Majesty."

"Ooooh! A P-h- _G_ , nice!" the princess cooed.

Marco chose to ignore that horrendous pun. "Yeah..." What Star said prior echoed in his mind, and Marco's eyes widened slightly.

"Wait, demons in my skull?" The girl nodded, smiling in anticipation. "Star, come on, _I told you_ that it isn't demons! If it were, that creepy witch doctor we visited would have picked up on something. _Eugh_ ," he shook his head, cringing at the memory. "I drank that peas-and-banana smoothie for _nothing_."

"Your face made the whole trip worth it, though," Star said with a cheeky grin.

Marco rolled his eyes. "Of course. But we talked about this before - it isn't always some otherworldly force we have to fight. It stinks, I know, but not every problem is something you can just punch away, Star."

Throughout this exchange, Marco wanted to just take his own hand and chop himself in the face with it. _Really, man?_ he asked himself. _You're going to dance around this as long as possible?_ No wonder he hadn't asked Jackie out on a date yet.

Star, unaware of Marco's internal battle, sagged in her posture. "I know, I know," she grumbled. "Wish you could though. Don't you just hate not being able to fight your way out of every problem?"

"Yeah... those are usually the hardest, the ones without an easy solution."

 _Being queen is doing just that._ Out of everything, Marco hoped his friend would be ready for when that time comes, whenever it may be. _She may not be as lucky as she was back at Ludo's..._

With that memory now on his mind, Marco suddenly felt compelled to lock eyes with Star. She, oddly enough, must have felt the same; for when they did, both were given a little start, yet something Marco read as recognition, and then understanding, was shared between them. All while in the corner of his eye, Marco spotted a painting of an old sailor.

He took a deep breath. "Star-"

"Marco-"

They did it again. "Hah... you go," insisted the princess.

Marco paused, only for a second, as he wondered what Star had to say in that moment. _But you can't avoid this any longer,_ came a voice from within.

He was compelled to agree.

"Star..." Marco hesitated. _Word this carefully, Diaz._ He felt his lips quirk into a shy little smile, the perfect mask to conceal how fast his heart was caving a hole a through his sternum. "...Dr. Majesty and I talked, a lot. Not, Not just about the, uh, the dreams, but also about some... some other stuff."

"Yeah, for like three hours!" Star Butterfly exclaimed. "What did you guys talk about?" She rocked back and forth on her heels, and Marco found himself wondering if she was taking this seriously.

"We did, yeah. And, the... _what_ we talked about, I mean... what Dr. Majesty _thinks_ is the source, I mean the main cause... of..." Marco groaned, eyes wrenched shut and turned away from Star. Why was this so hard?

_Why was talking to Star suddenly so hard to do?_

"Marco?" He opened his eyes - the princess was in front of him, leaning over so she was directly in front of his face, blue eyes searching. "You alright, bud? Is everything okay?"

The look on her face, the genuine concern, was enough to make Marco feel all the more ashamed. _But I have to do this._

"Star," he began, considering one last time before it was too late; he pushed on, "can we... can _I,_ ask you about something?"

Her eyes went alight. "Of course, of course!" She clasped her hands behind her back and leaned in slightly, one ear out. "I'm listening~," Star sang.

 _Forget about the dreams,_ Marco told himself, preparing. _Forget about Dr. Majesty, and forget about your worries. Just talk to Star. Talk to her about what needs to be talked about, and everything will be okay._

 _Everything will be okay._ The sheer idea those words carried were enough for Marco to shun all prior fears.

With a final breath, and a random nod, Marco asked, "Star, I was wondering if... do you, uh, you _really_ think that _none_ of those monsters managed to escape Ludo's castle? Be-Before your wand blew up, I mean?"

Star Butterfly pulled back, smirking with one hand on her hip and the other waving him off. "Aw, you're still worried about that, Marco?"

Although he couldn't blame Star for being unaware, Marco still felt rightfully irked at being patronized. "Well?" he snapped. Marco winced internally, and spoke softly when he continued, "Do you think they all, you know... _failed_ to escape the explosion?"

"Tch, only if we're _lucky,_ " Star said with a roll of the eyes. "And if they did? Somehow, someway? Then, well, they'll just think twice before messing with us again." A fist beat into her palm to emphasize that point.

There was a beat. Marco didn't know what else to say, what to feel, besides... _disgust_.

 _Those guys are all dead now, and Star is actually_ happy _about it._ He had to stuff his hands into his hoodie to hide their shaking, all while his thoughts whispered to him, _Marco will not let himself be subsumed in the Butterflys' butchery_.

And so Marco looked Star in the eye, and asked in his quiet, little voice, "How could you say that?"

Star regarded her friend with confusion. "Huh? W-What?" she stuttered.

It would be so easy for Marco to flick her in the nose, yell, "Psyche!" and then cobble together a convenient lie and pretend he never just said that. But then, as if in protest, he heard Dr. Majesty in the back of his head, _"If you fall back, you will forever be lost."_

Though, he couldn't continue meeting Star's scrutinizing gaze. "Those monsters might all be _dead,_ Star," he said while looking at her feet. "Doesn't that bother you? Even a little?"

"Iiiii..." Marco flicked his eyes up; he could practically see the "Systems Error" flash across her wide, blue eyes. "What's the big deal?" she then asked him. "I've killed monsters before."

 _She talks about it so casually._ He briefly considered relenting and putting this discussion to rest, until he felt Dr. Majesty push him forward, and with reluctance, Marco said, "That's... a little messed-up, Star."

She did the gasping and stuttering thing. "What are you talking about?" she eventually got out. "They're monsters, they're evil! Who cares if they're dead? Literally, _no one_ is missing them!" Star paced back and forth while she talked, until she made a sudden stop and regarded Marco with an oddly sly, sidelong look.

"No one except you, _Marco_." She spoke as if she just figured out some greater mystery. "You're not getting soft on me, are you?" Her eyes brightened. "Or, O-Or unless you're not my bestie, but some monster in a costume! In that case, I'll save you, Marco!" The princess took a fighting stance, while Marco continued shooting her a look flat as warm soda.

"I'm being serious, Star."

His no-nonsense tone, one so rarely used against the princess herself, gave her pause. And slowly, Star straightened up, arms secured over her chest while giving him a funny look. "Are you sure everything is okay, Marco?" she asked. "What brought all this on? When did you suddenly start caring about monsters? Especially after they, hm, I forgot!" She mockingly tapped her chin. "Oh, that's right! After they tried to _kill you!"_ She waved her hands, expressing the insanity of her best friend's thinking.

All the while her words replayed in Marco's head, over and over until he felt himself actually growing _frustrated_ with just how ignorant she was being.

"So all monsters deserve to die, then?" Star's mouth opened and closed, yet no words came. "Buff Frog, it wouldn't matter if he died tomorrow, right? Because, you know, he's a big evil monster and all."

The princess reeled as if she'd been slapped. She blinked, she gasped, she stuttered until she got out, "What is with you?!" and then whirled around, walking away. "No, Marco, of course not! Buff Frog's our friend, and he has Buff Babies now! End of story." The princess approached the spiral-staircase leading up to her loft.

Marco was right behind her. "And I can guarantee thousands of others do, too! You don't think Buff Frog is the only monster with kids, do you?" At the same time they lurched to a stop, right at the base of the stairs. Marco felt a spark of hope flickering in his chest.

"Do you understand what I'm saying, Star?"

Slowly, the princess turned. She turned, and turned, until she was fully facing Marco, where deep in her eyes he could see the mixed emotions of hurt and disgust ablaze.

In a low, cold voice, Princess Star Butterfly asked, "You _actually_ think I would _kill_ monster-parents and their children?" She started advancing towards him, and before Marco realized it, he was walking backwards to keep a foot between them. "You think I'm like the Monster Carver? Are you really asking if I would do something so _horrible?_ "

Her voice asked one question, but Marco heard her tone say something quite different: _"How could you think this about me?"_

Now, Marco was more at a loss for words than ever. This was not at all what he wanted to talk about. "S-Star, I didn't mean-"

His back unexpectedly hit the wall, and Star was unexpectedly in his face. "I _knew_ those monsters, Marco," she snarled. "They didn't _have_ children. Because, otherwise, they'd have better things to do with their time than working for vicious idiots like _Ludo_."

Star stepped away, stepped, stepped... and stopped. She folded her arms, face flushed and eyes flared.

"So, that justifies it?" Marco wondered. Star tilted her head. "Killing them?"

For the second time that day, Star asked Marco, "What is _up_ with you!?" and he truly did not know the answer.

Star continued before he got the chance to. "Did that Dr. Majesty brainwash you or something? When did you become a monster-lover all of a sudden? I, I don't get you, Marco! I thought you'd be _glad_ to never hear from them again! But now you're, you're... what, _missing_ them? You feel bad for them? Marco, think about it for a second, and really _think._ "

Marco thought - he thought about what Star just said, the tone she used, and frowned at being talked to by her, of all people, like he were a child.

And Star enunciated every word so Marco could understand. "These monsters had every intention of _killing you._ Every-single-time we fought them, they planned on doing not just that, but to me too, and then using my wand to destroy my home and the people I _love_."

She let that sink in, except Marco did not need the extra time to. He continued regarding Star with a stiff glare.

"But they were never gonna do that! And you know why?" She put a finger to his chest and prodded him with every word: "Because they're _monsters_ , they're _stupid_ , and they are _evil!"_ Marco swiped her hand away.

Star took a step back and concluded, "The world is a better place without them _infesting_ it," poison tainting her every word.

Marco was stunned to the point where speech was impossible. He had seen Star angry before, but he had never seen her so _furious,_ so vicious, and so...

...heartless.

Scowling, Marco finally took a step towards Star. "I can't believe you even still think all that, after _everything_ we've seen!"

"Pfft, like _what_? I remember seeing my first monster when I was four. _Four,_ Marco! And he tried to take me away from my home and my family for some stupid _corn._ I remember beating him up myself, and then he never tried that again." She smiled all smug-like, as if that were her trump card. "These are the things you are trying to defend, Marco: stupid, violent, greedy monsters. And you still haven't told me why you suddenly care about them!"

Although he kept a face of stone, every word felt like a punch to the throat for Marco. He knew, deep inside, that Star was probably right, that he was being an idiot and she was justified in feeling the way she did. But he was not trying to change her view, just to understand his own.

There lied only one thing he was certain of, and that was Star did not understand him. In truth, that was all Marco wanted. "But what about Lobster Claws?"

"Ugh!" Immediately the princess began to walk away.

Marco reeled, blinking, before he found himself walking after her. "Star, _you even said_ he had some good in him! How can you look me in the eye and continue telling yourself that all monsters are evil?"

Star whirled on him. "He punched you in your perfect face, Marco! Then they almost _killed you!_ Why do you even _care_?"

"Because that proves you're wrong!" he said, and with that, Star froze. The two friends locked heated gazes, silent, defiant.

Was she finally going to listen?

"If Lobster Claws had the ability to be good, then doesn't that mean all monsters do?"

"Sure, Marco, maybe they _do_. Maybe every monster in existence secretly eats candy and cuddles with puppies, and I'm just a big dummy. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"No, Star-! That's not what I mean, _just listen!_ "

Star did not, however - instead, her volume climbed and climbed until her voice rang in the vastness of her bedroom. "I don't know anything at all about how every monster in Mewni feels! I don't know why they do the things they do! And you know what, Marco? _You don't either!_ You don't know _anything_ about my home!"

"Then explain it to me!" he demanded, beating a palm against his chest.

"What!?" Star snapped, still in the haze of her fury.

"Explain to me, _right now,_ Star. Explain why it is justifiable, to just _freely_ kill whoever you want! Tell me your side, I want to hear it. We both know that no one else is ever going to ask you this, because you _know_ you can get away with it!"

He did not mean that, Marco did not mean to say that, and truly he did not know where that came from. Oh, how he wished he could take back that last part.

The look of utter shock in Star's face told him it was too late. " _How DARE you!?_ Monsters attack mewman villages all the time, some of them even managed to kill a few people, _innocents!_ And you think it's so wrong to return the favor!? Especially after they captured you, they threatened your life, and mine, and my home?! You're actually mad at me for _saving your life?! ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME MARCO?!_ "

"No, it's not about-stop, _STOP!_ " Without thinking, he grabbed Star by the wrist as she turned toward the stairs.

The princess's eyes were fury. "Let go of me!"

Marco did so. "Then listen to what I'm _actually trying_ to tell you, Star! _T_ _his isn't about ME!"_

" _Then explain it to me, Marco! PLEASE!_ " Tears had welled in Star's eyes, tears previously unseen by Marco until they finally spilled forth, tracing her cheeks, and the princess was weeping softly.

He watched, stunned, as she continued, "I don't, I don't know if, if I did something _wrong_ , or this is just some Earth-thing I don't understand, but... _I._.. _I'm sorry._ I don't, I dunno what I did wrong, or why you're yelling at me, but, but I'm sorry, _I'm sorry Marco..._ "

A wave of sobs came, and without a second longer Marco was at his friend's side, both arms wrapped around her trembling shoulders. Despite everything that was said, Star did not push him away, nor ignore his gesture. She leaned into it, nuzzling the front of his hoodie.

Even this, Marco felt was too kind of the princess. He eased the two of them down into the stairs, all while feeling like the worst person in the universe.

"What did I do to make you angry, Marco?" she asked, wiping each of her eyes with the fabric of his hoodie. "I don't understand..."

Marco thought hard - he thought he was the biggest jerk in the universe to outright reduce his friend to tears. "I didn't want this," he said aloud, and in response he felt Star lift her head. He refused to lower his gaze to meet her's, though.

"I'm... I don't know what's wrong with me, Star. I guess, I mean I just... couldn't deal, I guess... with the fact that my best friend killed, _has killed_ , a ton of monsters. I don't..."

Marco untangled himself from Star and just buried his face into his palms, sighing. "I screwed this up so bad. And... I made you _cry_ , Star." He lifted his head to look her in the eyes - red, slightly puffy, but no longer crying, just wide and curious as ever. He felt a serrated knife drive its way through his heart. "I'm so, so sorry. I never wanted that, I-"

A hand was on his mouth.

"Shh." The princess lowered it before he could do it himself. Star's eyes were looking deep into Marco's, searching for something he did not know. It went on for just long enough to make Marco grow slightly red and want to look away, were he not so entranced.

"Star...?"

"Was that it, Marco?" she asked, softly. "Has... all this," she gestured vaguely with her hand, "been the reason why you were having those dreams? Those horrible nightmares you can't wake up from? Is it... Is it because of _me_?" Star, at the very least, looked quite haunted by just the possibility that that could be the case.

 _No, of course not!_ his mouth wanted to say. A writhing twisted and painful in his chest held his silence.

Marco had no qualms with letting Star look into his eyes and see whatever it was she saw. When it was time for him to do the same though, Marco could not - he looked out, across the room, out the door that has been open the entire time.

He shook his head. "I don't know, Star."


	8. Like being your best friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath

"You got this, Marco!" hollered Star, pumping a fist in the air while the other hooked around a white post standing twice her height, even as she stood atop the lowest rung of fencing. "Just don't die and junk!"

 _"WOAH-HOH-HOH!"_ The mass between Marco's legs jostled only slightly, but it was enough to make the boy feel like he was about to fly off. "Easier said than done!" he called back, yet Marco was laughing despite himself.

Star giggled, and not just from the pleasant warmth beating down on her back, although it certainly helped her mood. She had opted to wear more appropriate clothing for this excursion, a pair of cute overalls with a butterfly stitched on the front pocket, and underneath it a lime-green tee. Her bestie wore something quite similar, except his tee was red, of course. A perpetual breeze drifted lazily about these lands, incessantly pulling at Star's hair underneath the straw hat she wore.

"Remember Marco: _vhalad_ is 'fly,' and _dracarys_ is 'fire!'" Those were the awesome commands Star always liked.

He whimpered quite hilariously in spite of her helpful tips, although Star could not blame him - Earthlings were not used to breaking-in mounts who wanted to eat them for supper. "And what about 'land,' 'stop,' and 'don't fly at all!?'" he cried, as his mount gurgled a deep, rolling sound within its pale throat.

Star truly did not know those words, she never had use for them. "Uh... good luck! You'll be awesome!" She waved to him encouragingly, although Marco became as white as his mount when she did.

"Okay?!" he called back. Marco gripped his reigns, uncertainty clear in his face. "Uh... hyah?" He whipped the reigns. Stationary, his mount craned its massive head around, staring at him with a blue marble of an eye as if to say, _"Really?"_

Marco tried again, saying, "Uh, yip-y _OAH-HOH!"_ He took off, his mount pacing along the property with wide, plodding steps. All the while Star laughed, she laughed until her cheeks hurt from smiling so much; Marco was as awkward with Mewni activities as she was when she first came to the Earth Dimension.

"Your Royal Highness?" a voice asked; once the formality was spoken, the gruff-sounding man asked, "Certain your boyfriend is ready for dragon-riding?"

Star turned to where a massive man, easily three times her height, stood tall with his hat-donning head raised proud. Proud, that was a word Star would use to describe this familiar face, the way he held himself just oozed with power. He was dressed in crisp brown overalls; although no shirt underneath like herself, the wiry grey hair on his chest could pass along as such. He also wore the tanned hide of some unfortunate beast that once threatened his property. Silver hair on the front and back of his head each tied into a ponytail, with beads and charms decorating his beard. His face, what little there was to see, was browned and pruned from working centuries away in this endless sea of grass.

In all her life she had known him, Star never saw his expression change to something other than "grumpy old giant."

"He's my bestie, Zed, _not_ boyfriend," Star told him, too happy to frown. "And of course he is! Marco's always ready for a little 'dan-gah,' they even call him 'the Safe Kid' back in the Earth Dimension, 'cause he's just that safe."

Zed made a sound he always made - even after many years, Star was till unsure if that was a grunt or a burp. It could very well be either, given how much ale he consumed in a day. "That right?" he muttered. "How safe could the fool be if he's hanging around _you_?"

"Oh, har-har, Zed." Star knew he meant it as a playful jab, although there was an inkling of truth to his words she spent zero time wishing to dwell on. This was supposed to be a _fun_ day. "Marco's so safe he's even kept _me_ from hurting myself. Like, a _gazillion_ times."

Farmer Zed made that sound again, peering across the field where dozens more dragons sunbathed about the property - despite their nature, the land was green as it could possibly be, a testament to Zed's mastery of dragon-herding. "Hope you're right, Princess. Last thing I need is the wrath of your royal parents coming down upon the farm because some Earth Turd went and pissed off one of my dragons." He caught the narrow-eyed stare Star shot his way. "And I meant offense - you're my future queen, so I can't say no to you. But if something happens to that idiot, then it'll be on my head." He came up beside her and leaned himself against the fence, not having to stand on the bottom rungs like she did.

"That's not what I meant, ya grumpy grump," Star told him. She looked back out, where Marco seemed to be getting comfortable with the frolicking of his paledrake, if his grin were anything to go by.

The giant retorted, "Too old to give a shit about riddles, Your Highness. Just say it."

Star did not wince at his foul language, for she was used to hearing the old curmudgeon cuss, and he's uttered far worse directly to her face in the past. "You think I'm actually going to go and let Marco get hurt," she said lightly.

"Fool could _die,_ dragon-riding's dangerous work." Star did not answer, merely she kept smiling, humming a little to herself. Zed pushed himself off the fence to face her. "Sayin' it isn't?"

"No! Well, it _isn't_ ," she couldn't resist seeing the scowl Zed made whenever she said that, "but Marco isn't going to even get hurt!"

"And how's that?"

Star smiled, simply shrugging one shoulder and saying, "Because I won't let him."

 _"STAAA-HA-HA-HAAAaaarrr...!"_ Zed and Star both turned their sights back to the pastures, where they only found a couple dozen dragons curled up in the grass but nothing more.

"There he is." Zed pointed skywards.

Star followed his finger and spotted a figure against the bright blue sky, growing rapidly smaller.

"...promise lasted all of half a second. Record for you, Star."

"Summoning Cloudy Charm!"

* * *

 _"I didn't tell you to fly!"_ With a yip, she ascended higher.

White wings beat against the air, cracking like thunder. Marco could not breathe, he could not think, he just clutched the rubbery spines protruding from either side of the drake's dorsal fin, running the length of its neck, as the green sea fell away beneath him.

Dizzy, Marco squeezed his eyes shut. _Why did I have to choose you?_ he wondered in dismay.

When he chose the paledrake, he did so because she was so different from the others; most dragons Marco'd seen in the movies were green or bronze, but this one was white as snow, her scales smooth, almost like glass, and they found her marching about the property while her siblings all slept. While he was focusing on staying atop, Marco did not recall any of them stir in their rest, implying they were used to the young, sleek drake's antics.

The beast seemed to do whatever she wanted, yet none of those things seemed to involve or be even capable of bringing harm to him, the rider. If Marco did not know any better, he would have thought the dragon just liked to mess with him. She grunted thoughtfully as Marco shrieked in delight, but when he told her, "Show me what you got," she seemed to take that quite literally, and took off.

When he opened his eyes again, Marco was looking outwards to a land that had no end - hills and valleys loped around and over one another, some bare while most others clothed with the dark greens of trees. Mountains gave the land a figure, jagged but flowing like a river. In the far, far distance, Marco had to squint his eyes to make out the cluster of bulbous towers that made the silhouette of Castle Butterfly.

 _Oh my God._ He nearly lost his grip, he was in such awe. "Oh my God!" he laughed like a maniac.

His mount's wide wings continued to thrash against the air, soaring higher and higher, she banked to the left, circling for a bit. Marco leaned with her, heart feeling ready to burst, and his face tear from grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"Higher!" his voice cracked, and his mount obliged, wings beating with an enthusiastic yelp and together they climbed, climbed until even the biggest dragon this friend of Star's owned, one that was the size of his school bus, was no bigger than a cockroach. Marco could feel her heat between his thighs, and he shifted himself before it felt _too_ good.

 _"Marco!"_ he heard, faint and familiar. Marco turned to where his best friend was flying right beside him, hair billowing in the wind as she surfed atop a pink mass with a cheerful little face. _"You good up heeeere?!"_ Star hollered, though she was still only marginally louder than the thick wingbeats and air rushing by their ears.

"Look Star!" Marco laughed. "I'm doing it! I'm, I'm riding an actual dragon!"

The princess may not have heard all he said, but she grinned all the same at his evident excitement. She started pumping both fists, cheering, "Go Marco! It's yo birthday!" Cloudy had somehow gotten a party blower, which he used to make its distinctive hornlike cry before spitting it out.

Marco beamed before he was struck by an idea. He sidled forward a bit, then pat the large space of dragon-back behind him. "Hop on!"

Star didn't need to be asked twice. "Okay!" She lined Cloudy up beside the paledrake and, just as Marco yelled out in one word, _"WaitStarletmeland!"_ she smoothly leapt from ride to ride, her summon dissipating in a puff of pinkish smoke the instant she left him.

Marco could not help but regard his friend with awe - she had serious guts to do something like that. _What if she missed?_ he wondered, but Marco knew Star wouldn't, and Star knew she wouldn't as well. She was kinda awesome like that.

A pair of arms looped themselves around Marco's waist, lacing their fingers over his belly as a warm, familiar weight pressed itself against his back. Before, most of Marco's attention was focused on not falling off. With Star joining him, her closeness was all he could think about; coupled with the mount's warmth between his thighs, he was infinitely glad no one could see his face.

 _Don't Star this up, Diaz,_ he told himself. _Just enjoy this ride with your best friend._

"Hi-ho, snakey!" Star cried, briefly pointing outwards, past Marco's face. "Give me a nice ol' _dracarys!_ "

Their ride obliged, letting out a squeaky bark before spitting a gout of flame, arcing in the air red-hot and bellowing. Marco could not help but whoop both in amazement, and at the intensity of the blaze. He felt Star's arms squeeze a little tighter.

Seconds later he heard, "Marco! Marco, look!" as her cheek rubbed against his own when she gazed skyward.

Marco followed, and his eyes grew huge - Ooden, Yara, and Sarah, the moon-triplets of Mewni, were ever-present no matter the time. They were even bigger by day than at night, where the sky was perpetually a soft pink, and Ooden near-filled Marco's vision.

He reached a hand out, as if to touch it. He thought he could, which is how Marco rationalized doing something so silly in front of Star. He was ready to drop his hand, hoping by some ridiculous hope the princess directly behind him was in one of her euphoric states where nothing else mattered.

Another hand reached up and clasped his own before he could do so, much warmer than his own. Marco smiled, and felt his heart and mind soar high.

Together their hands dropped, resting against Marco's thigh. Without a word he turned his head slightly - a part of him was too afraid to "take his eyes off the road," despite flying a million feet in the air and not in any kind of control over this undisciplined dragon.

Star leaned to the side, meeting his gaze with her own - their eyes shone, of course from the speed they were flying through the air, and nothing more. Smiles warm and tender were exchanged - a sincere, heartfelt _"Thank you,"_ from Marco, and a _"You're welcome,"_ by Star, all without a single word uttered.

They lingered for several moments before both returned to gazing ahead.

Marco was not expecting Star to rest her chin on his shoulder; he more than welcomed the gesture, but kept his eyes on whatever lay ahead, wherever this beast, so reckless and irresponsible, planned on taking him.

He did let his own head lay back, nuzzling against Star's temple as he kept their hands clasped together, resting against his leg.

With a cry and no commands, the dragon dipped down.

* * *

"...I don't know, Star." Marco spoke with as much honesty as he could possibly convey. Making up a lie, he knew, would only render things worse for both of them.

With all his heart, currently thundering away in his chest, Marco prayed this would not be the end of his incredible friendship with Star Butterfly. If he did, if he was the reason for ending it, or damaging what they had because...

Marco shook his head. He just had to have faith in Star, have faith in their friendship. _It will be okay,_ he assured himself, except he then kept repeating it to himself, like a wish or a prayer, _It'll be okay, it'll be okay, it'll be okay._

He didn't know how Star would respond - hopefully without anymore tears, too much of those have been shed these past weeks, and Star crying never felt any less wrong, despite this being the third time he had heard her be reduced to such a state. It also made it the third time because of him.

This was a special instance though, different from the rest. For Marco was the direct cause now, rather than an indirect one. _You did this,_ he heard himself say. _Star would not have been reduced to tears had you not hurt her._ He let that sink in, filling the hollowness in his chest as he and Star sat in quiet.

 _You hurt her,_ whispered his thoughts.

He just hoped she would forgive him. "I'm so, so sorry, Star," he lamented, meek as a mouse. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I just..." Marco trailed off. He knew no excuse would be enough to justify what happened.

"Marco?" He felt Star shift, turn, and without even looking he felt the weight of her gaze on him. Hesitantly, he met her eyes: wet and blue as the ocean, rimmed with an irritated red but, in their own, Star-y way, achingly innocent. "How come you never told me about this?" she asked. "Why didn't you tell me this was bothering you?"

Marco did not need to think of a response, for they were already living in the reality he was afraid of. "Well..." was all he said, gesturing to her, himself, and the way they still held one another, sitting on the lowest step of the spiral-stair.

His response made Star do something he truly did not expect: she snorted. Then, she snickered. It grew intense the more perplexed his face had become until she was full-blown laughing. Although he didn't know why, he joined, feeling an overwhelming sense of euphoria fill his body, softening it, lightening it.

That feeling, he realized in a clearer state, was of relief.

And when their laughter died down, Marco felt confident enough to tell his friend the truth of it all, the reality of their situation. "I didn't even know," he told her. "How much this _bothered_ me, I mean. Until today, that is. Talking to Dr. Majesty about everything that happened, I think it helped me realize."

"And was that all?" Star asked, placing her hands in her lap as Marco clasped his in front of him. In a playful lilt, "Or is it my turn to play 'Star PhD?'"

Marco wracked his brain. "I don't think so," he shook his head. He then rubbed his forehead, sighing. "God, I really could have gone about this better."

"Yeah, you could've." Her reply was meant to be silly, but it was clear from Marco's silence how hard he was taking this. "Hey, hey, hey, it's okay!" She rubbed his back. "What's important is that you got it out there, and _that's_ the hard part."

Star was one to talk, but Marco didn't say as much. "Is it, though?" he wondered, suddenly meeting Star's gaze. His eyes begged a question, and Star's wondered the exact same thing: _Where do we go from here?_

The two locked eyes, until the princess was the one to break away, now sighing herself. "...Marco, I..." she paused, "I... wasn't being completely honest with you."Star did not see him tilt his head, curious, as she lamented in a soft, but still strong voice,

"I've only ever killed a monster once before, before the... the other time."

Marco felt his eyebrows shoot up to the heavens, as his body filled with the shameless euphoria of relief once more. Yet the way Star held herself, spoke aloud, Marco realized this was not an admission borne of sadness, but rather, and much to his own surprise, _shame._

"It happened when I turned seven."

Her eyes flickered upwards, to some random point across her bedroom as she lost herself in her memories. "Dad had given me my first weapon, a shortsword. Stainless steel, he forged it himself. He was _super_ proud of it, and proud of me to have it." From the way she spoke, her voice filled with such reverence, Marco could tell that even this darker childhood memory was still a happy one for Star. When he followed her gaze, he realized she was staring at that very sword, outside of its scabbard and sitting on a rack with her other weapons. There was nothing special about it, with the exception of its heart-shaped pommel.

"We both wanted to try it out, so he took me on my first camping trip." Star turned to once again meet Marco's gaze, where he saw nostalgia as well as fervent energy alight in her eyes. "It isn't anything like when we went camping with him," she told him. "The way Dad described it? Now _that's_ camping Mewni-style: no food, no clothes, sleep, or direction. It's just you against nature: _who is strongest?_ " Star's voice had risen, as did her excitement in reliving the memory. "We stalked through the woods for _eleven days_ before Dad and I found our target's lair."

"That sounds awful."

Star's eyes sparkled with mischief. "It was _fun!_ I should take you sometime, pay you back."

Marco tried his best not to think about camping "Mewni-style" with Star, and all the implications that came with the sport. _"I'm good!"_ he squeaked, tittering.

The princess replied in kind. "If you say so!" she sang, knowingly. Together, they chuckled.

There was a short-lived silence. "So... what happened when you found the monster's lair?" Marco asked, looking at his feet. "I remember your dad saying it was some kinda 'tar beast' you guys fought?"

Star nodded. "A Narinthian tar beast, yeah. We fought him for several hours, and when he finally gave up we were _tired_ , beaten, filthy... Oh my _gosh_ , it was amazing!"

Marco frowned - he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, one he felt minutes ago when they were yelling at each other, and Star proudly proclaimed she's slaughtered monsters before.

Within though, he knew there was a point Star had yet to reach. He did his best to hold off any judgments. "And what happened after that?"

Slowly, her grin faded to one much more subdued. Star was quiet for a moment, her face wrenched in the way it did when she was thinking, hands idly tapping a beat against her lap.

Marco patiently awaited a reply.

"Dad," Star began, hesitant, "he had me slay the tar beast with my sword. So... I did!" she said simply, shrugging. "We killed it, went home, and dad took his head. It still sits above the mantle in his study to this day, actually. I should show you next time we're there, Marco!"

She needed only to see her friend's flat look to urge her on.

"Okay, okay," she murmured. "I... didn't like that part. Killing the monster, I mean. I never did, but... I never told anybody that, okay?" Her brows furrowed, and suddenly she was in Marco's face, poking him in the chest. "You'd better not tell my dad!"

"I won't, I won't!" Marco backed away, as did Star. A silence fell upon the two of them. "...Why exactly didn't you like it?" he asked Star, whose gaze returned to her sword, distant and lost. "I mean, I've been with you when we killed _beasts_ before. Remember the hydra we thought ate my parents?"

Star shrugged, giving Marco a sobering look. "That was different, though," she said. "And so was the tar beast. What we did, Dad and I? We... We just hunted a creature down in its home, Marco. He wasn't even _doing_ anything, and we cut his body off for _fun_." She gave Marco a serious look. "That wasn't fun, not to me..."

"...But it was to your father," he finished for her. Star, after hesitation, relented with a quick little nod. Marco ran his hand through his hair. "I think I'm starting to see a picture here..."

"Part of me always kinda regretted never talking to my dad about it. But I was..." _Afraid?_ Marco wondered. _Like I was?_ "...nervous," she decided. "I was nervous about what he would say, what he would think of me..."

"I can weirdly relate," said Marco, and him and Star exchanged knowing smiles.

Star's quickly turned sympathetic. "I'm sorry you felt that way," she said, placing a hand on his upper arm and rubbing it. "It's a crummy feeling, thinking you can't be honest with your loved ones." She paused, then added, "A-And friends."

Smiling a sad smile, Marco removed her hand that was now on his shoulder, and clasped it within his own. "Loved ones," he corrected, and Star's eyes widened in surprised. Marco spoke quickly, but confidently, trying his best not to be flushed with embarrassment. "I care so much about you, Star," he told her. "You're my best friend, and I don't remember ever being so scared than I was on my way home. I just... I didn't want to ruin it." Even now, his shame was evident.

He did not expect Star to ask, "How did you do it?" To his puzzled expression, she explained with a faint smile, "How did you, you know," she gestured with her free hand, "just _push_ through it and talk to me, even though you were afraid?"

Marco shrugged, smiling shyly as he admitted, "I believed in our friendship," knowing full-well how corny that sounded.

"Marco, that's so corny-"

"It's true, though!" he cut in, blushing.

"-...and sweet," Star finished, a faint pink surrounding her hearts. She squeezed his hand as she said, "You really are the best bestie a best bestie could have."

Marco smiled, his heart warm. "Thanks, Star. So are you." That made the princess beam, bright as her namesake. Marco gave her hand one last squeeze before dropping it - both returned to his lap.

Together they sat in a companionable silence, content and calm.

Star spoke moments later, her voice just as mild. "Marco?"

"Hm?"

"...I still don't regret what I did. Saving you, I mean." He turned to look at her, his eyes not at all wide or in-shock, yet Star was still shy to meet him. "You're not mad at me, are you?"

Marco absorbed her words, telling himself all the while that he should be honest with her.

So, he smiled at Star, reassuringly. "I was never mad at you," he said, shaking his head, and a soft, relieved smile grew on Star's face.

 _If anything, I just wanted you to understand my point of view._ The idea of resuming that line of thinking, however, made Marco inexplicably tired, and he didn't want to shatter this tranquility after just reestablishing it.

 _A conversation for another day,_ he said to himself. Although Marco was perfectly content leaving it like this, for now.

With a resounding, "Whelp!" Marco stood, "I'm going to go make dinner. Mom and Dad shouldn't be home until later tonight, so we have to fend for ourselves."

Star shot up to her feet. "Ooh, can I help?" she asked, hands clasped together.

"Of course!" Marco moved to exit Star's bedroom, best friend at his side. When he went to stuff his hands in his hoodie pockets, Marco was given a small start.

 _What is this?_ he wondered, feeling paper between his fingers.

Star paused mid-step, giving him a look. "Marco?"

Wordlessly he pulled out whatever was in his pocket and beheld it: an envelope. "Oh," was all he said, before handing it to Star. "This is for you."

* * *

**Really wasn't intending for this to be almost 5,000 words. God, there is a lot to cover this story! Star and Marco's conversation was actually supposed to be even longer, with Star telling Marco about he vow to never kill unless she feels it's justified, and then her feelings about monsters regarding Mewnipendance Day.**

**I hope this breather was welcomed; I thought it necessary - next chapter will continue on with the plot, where Star meets Dr. Majesty**

**Did you guys also notice that Star and Marco didn't really discuss anything? That's kind of the beauty and flaw in their relationship, I think - they never sit down and _talk,_ they just say what's in their hearts. This isn't a very stable ground for a relationship, but luckily, our two dorks know each other well enough to read between the lines, so it corrects itself in a way.**


	9. Questionable Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star encounters a problem

This school psychologist must be quite the impressive Earthling if even Marco sought her guidance.

The thought gave Star that fun, squirmy feeling in her stomach. She couldn't help but swing her feet back and forth, simultaneously excited and anxious to meet this mysterious Dr. Majesty. She hated feeling anxious though, it was such a gross feeling but Star knew it not only to be futile, but also incredibly dangerous, to deny her own feelings.

An annoying ache in her chest ensured she did not anyway. If she did, then the morning she had was too fresh to merely forget a few hours later, especially when it was about Marco.

_Marco..._ The feeling came back, angrily buzzing away in her belly, and not at all as fun as before. Star winced at her discomfort, both in body and mind. _I'll help you Marco,_ she pledged. _By the light of rainbows, I'll help you. Even if it makes me really, really tired._ She nodded affirmatively, although no one was around to see it.

She hoped Dr. Majesty would be of help, if she was as smart as Marco said she was. Star had her doubts though, mostly because she had trouble believing any human could be as smart as Marco Diaz, let alone smarter. She intended on meeting this school psychologist at some point, just to get a measure on her, which was why Star, even now, found this setup to be a little funny.

In the exact moment she considered meeting Dr. Majesty, Marco handed her a letter that just did all the work for her. Even now Star has yet to meet her, yet she took a liking to the woman before she even finished reading it, just because of those simple words:

_"If you so choose."_

Star found it nice, an adult that actually let her maker her own decision, instead of telling her what to do like a dog.

Or like a princess.

...Star began to whistle.

If she wasn't already planning on seeing her, Star knew reading that would have convinced her. And her office only made Star like her more: colorful pillows on her therapist-sofa, cool arts and crafts on her desk, and the whole room smelling like vanilla were a few things that jumped out at Star upon entering this room for the first time. She was almost tempted to touch all of it.

_If I was born a human in the Earth Dimension,_ she said to herself, eyes whizzing about, _this is what my office would look like._

Except it would be a lot less quiet - Star could even hear her own soft breathing, it was so still.

As the minutes ticked by and she still found herself waiting, Star hoped Dr. Majesty was still around, and didn't go home. She couldn't have, Star was certain - in the letter, Dr. Majesty said to come to her office when last period ended Friday.

_"If you so choose,"_ she recalled it saying. Well, Star chose.

"So where are ya, Doc?" Star wondered aloud. The door flew open in that instant, giving Star a small start as a woman with a messy blonde bun poked her head in, arms overflowing with binders, folders, and loose papers whiffing about. Her face was flushed, and she struggled to breathe evenly.

The princess had just enough time to mutter to herself, "Did I do that?" as this woman breathily asked, "Star Butterfly?" in a chipper voice.

"Y-Yeah," she replied, still taken aback. "Uh, are you Dr. Majesty?"

With a nod she fully entered the office, shutting the door behind her using a boot-clad foot, and then reaching over while keeping her armful close to her chest. "It's so nice to finally meet you," she said, straining to keep balanced. "Sorry my office is such a mess; I've been running around like crazy all day."

_I thought she'd be as ancient as my mom._ She looked half that age, though she seemed about as stressed as her. Star wrapped both hands around Majesty's, and shook it eagerly. "I really like your office!" she told her, grinning.

Dr. Majesty shuffled over to deposit her workload all over the desk, before she beamed at Star with a flattered smile. "I try," she sighed in bliss. "Apologies for making you wait, Ms. Butterfly, I mean _Princess_." A light titter. "I was in here until Principal Skeeves called, just as last period ended. I'm glad I didn't miss you."

Star tilted her head, smiling. "Oh, don't worry about it!" she said with a wave of the hand. "You're just doing your job! If it were me, I'd _totally_ just use it as an excuse to go and do something more fun."

Dr. Majesty huffed, blinking. "Well," she smiled wryly, "that's probably the strangest compliment from royalty I've ever or will ever get."

"Oh, and don't worry about the princess title, please! My friends call me Star." A pause. "We're friends, by the way."

The doctor put a hand to her chest. "I'm honored," she said. Majesty smiled when she met Star's eyes, but when she opened her mouth to speak, a giggle suddenly came forth, which she tried her best to stifle but with little success. "Sorry, I'm sorry, Star," she rubbed her forehead, and Star noticed her awkwardness aglow on her cheeks, however faint.

She was confused and, admittedly, a little concerned - what was so funny? "Dr. Majesty?"

"Oh, this is so embarrassing..."

Now Star was just confused. "Why? Why? What is it?"

"I'm..." Only then did Dr. Majesty drop her hand, yet she still did not meet Star's gaze. If the princess didn't know any better, she would have thought she did something wrong - instead, Dr. Majesty seemed, oddly enough, incredibly _shy._

_But about what?_ Star wondered. She couldn't think of any reason why this woman, who makes a living out of picking at students' brains, would suddenly be all flustered unless something was actually wrong.

"This is incredibly unprofessional, Star. I apologize." The doctor smiled at her, ruefully.

Star shook her head, assuring Majesty, "No, no, no, don't worry about it! You're fine." A thought came to her, and she snorted quite loudly. "Heck! The whole reason why I'm even here is because I'm 'unprofessional.'" She made little air quotes with her fingers.

Now the brow was quirked at her. "'Unprofessional?'"

"And reckless, irresponsible, unruly, uncouth..." Star did not realize she was frowning, nor was she speaking with forced cheer as she recited, "Mother knows best, though!"

"Don't they always?" Majesty said with a roll of the eyes. "We spend our whole lives trying to please our mothers, yet it's never good enough for them."

"...I like you, Dr. Majesty. Have I said that already?"

This made the older woman laugh. "I believe so, though it's nice to get a reminder!" She sighed after calming down. "It truly is a pleasure to finally meet you, Star."

Hearing such a thing would always make Star's day, but hearing Dr. Majesty, this adult who never met her and, to her knowledge, neither knew a whole lot about one another, speak with such sincerity, it stirred something within the young princess.

It was to the point where Star, always prepared with a bubbly retort, could only voice a humored, "Yeah?"

Dr. Majesty nodded, smile still beaming strong. "I know you didn't mind my improper conduct, but, you're here for me, and I'm just letting my own feelings hinder my professionalism."

Now Star was itching to understand. "Oh come on, Maj! It's me you're talking too!" Star reached into her star-shaped satchel, pulling out her wand and with a tap, materialized a set of rectangular spectacles and named herself, "Star PhD!"

Dr. Majesty maintained eye contact for all of one second before bursting out into giggles. "Oh, I am so glad you've decided to take my offer, Star!"

A warm sensation blossomed in Star's chest, and she felt herself beam with pride and grow hot with flattery. Never before has an adult appreciated her presence so much, let alone enjoy it as much as this woman did, and she wasn't even doing any magic! Dr. Majesty just seemed really excited to meet her, which made Star feel inexplicably happy. Not moreso than normal, but a different sort of joy that a large body of students crowding her, cheering her name, could never replicate.

It was a strangely gratifying experience.

"May I be honest with you, Star?" she asked.

The princess shrugged, smirking. "I sure hope so!" she joked.

Majesty snickered. "Certainly. It's just that, meeting _you_... oh, it's a little embarrassing but I have to ask you, Star, has Marco shown you movies by a company named _Disney_ by any chance?"

Star's eyes grew wide, and twinkled like her namesake. _"I love Disney!"_ She clapped her hands together. "Shrek is my favorite."

She could have sworn she saw Majesty's eyelid twitch slightly, but brushed it off as her imagination and let the doctor continue with her story. "Yes, well, I too love Disney. When I was just a girl, I was absolutely _obsessed -_ knights, magic, romance and princesses." Dr. Majesty gave a sigh rife with nostalgia. She snickered a bit, telling Star "You know, I actually wanted to go to _Princeton_ for college, to become a princess." She laughed raucously into her hand.

Star joined, more out of courtesy than understanding the joke. "Trust me sister, it ain't all it's cracked up to be!" She brought forth a new wave of laughter, but deep inside the faint tightening of her chest reminded Star there was some sincerity to her words.

Dr. Majesty grinned, none the wiser. "I was just a child at the time. But I loved Disney - I was practically raised on those movies. A-And meeting _you_ , a _real_ , magical princess, well... my inner child couldn't help but squeal a little bit." A redness blossomed upon her cheeks. "I know, it sounds a little silly, but-"

"No, not at all! I think that's super awesome! I'm glad I remind you so much of your childhood," Star cut in, leaning forward as she gripped the cushion of her seat.

Dr. Majesty took a moment to drink in her words before shaking her head. When she spoke then, she was smiling. "Never change, Star. The world needs more girls like you."

Star blinked. Twice. "You have literally no idea how much that means to me," she admitted with as serious a disposition as she could muster.

She received a sad sort of smile in return. "And I imagine that is a story for another day, Ms. Butterfly. But we're here to talk about more immediate matters, I imagine."

Star remembered the letter. "Right, right, right. There's _way_ more important things to yuck it up about than that junk."

The doctor rose a brow to that before nodding affirmatively. "Of course, Star. Of course." Her eyes flickered upwards to the ceiling, and she hummed for a moment before deciding. "I suppose we should start with this: how is Marco doing?"

Star anticipated as much.

_He's good!_ she wanted to say, but knew telling lies would be a waste of both her time and the kindly doctor's. Yet Star truly did not know the answer to this question, and she wondered if Marco did himself. It's not that Marco was bad, all things considered. The morning aside, yesterday's Friendship Thursday and even their argument and the subsequent heart-to-heart the day prior have been some truly wonderful bonding experiences. Yet even so...

Star huffed a little. _Even so..._ she thought.

"...Not really sure," slowly came the admission.

"Oh?" Majesty's eyes widened ever so slightly - Star has been raised to notice the little twitches in a person's face when speaking with them, and realized with a bit of surprise herself that this caught the doctor off-guard. "And what makes you say that, Star?"

"Well, we talked the other day..." the princess hesitated. She didn't need to tell Dr, Majesty _everything_ , that was her and Marco's business; only what she needed to hear. "And it was fine!" she decided, getting a nod of understanding from the doctor. "But... it didn't seem to make anything better." A thought occurred to her. "Maj, how much did Marco tell you?"

The doctor pursed her lips, before promptly answering, "He told me enough." Star frowned - she was hoping to get a straight answer.

Her dissatisfaction must not have gone unnoticed by Majesty. "I'm sorry, Star. I am not at liberty to openly discuss the private matters of other students. If you're jonesing to know, however, you should ask Marco himself. It's only polite."

There was a million and one reasons why that idea was wholly unappealing. "But Marco and I share practically _everything_ together!" Star whined. Her hands clasped together, and with her cutest smile asked, "Can't ya help a girl out?"

The flat look she received said all that needed to be said. "Why don't _you_ tell _me_ why you feel this way?"

Confusion struck Star - was she talking about wanting to know what Marco said, the discussion they had, or how it didn't improve their situation in the slightest? "About what, exactly?"

The doctor leaned forward slightly. "Anything that's on your mind."

Her statement echoed within Star's mind a number of times, her morning resurfacing at every instance. _Guess I'm talking about you then,_ she thought to herself.

"Okay," she began, "so, when Marco was here, did he tell you about his nightmares at all?" When Dr. Majesty nodded, Star couldn't help but wonder what exactly he told her.

And what _he_ didn't tell _her_.

That angry fluttery-feeling came back, but Star ignored it and assured herself, _Marco wouldn't hide anything from me though!_ She banished such a dubious idea, and reaching into her memories from just a few hours ago, she regaled her previous night.

"So, I was sleeping, having this _really_ yummy dream where we found a dimension made entirely out of ice cream, when I suddenly woke up. I usually have my wand out when that happens, but not these past couple weeks, because it's usually when I felt Marco screaming again..."

* * *

Star's heart was racing, even faster than the little unicorn that powered her wand.

That same wand she was struggling to keep statue-still as she pointed it at Marco's doorknob. She decided to go through their connected bathroom, as per usual, so as not to wake the Diazes.

_"Magnificent Master Key!"_ she hissed. The keyhole filled with a faint light, and for half a second Star saw it shape into a key with a heart-shaped head. Within, she heard a distinctive _click-click._

In the early weeks since Toffee's defeat, performing the spell took Star a handful of tries before achieving success; it didn't help that she was ever-terrified of what was happening to her best friend on the other side of the door. She was still afraid for him, but this ritual had been performed so many times that the tool spell became as second-nature as a Narwhal Blast.

Running on autopilot, Star wasted no time hearing the tumbler click - she just grabbed the doorknob and pushed herself in.

Marco's room was dark, but it was also small, and the window at his bedside highlighted the fidgeting boy like a beacon in the night. A familiar ache was felt in Star's chest, and she uttered a sound that was equal parts disappointed and worried.

Her best friend, as ever, was active in his sleep. His eyes were wrenched shut, almost like he was experiencing deep, deep pain. He mewled, sad, frightened little sounds that just twisted Star's heart until it hurt. They sometimes resembled mumbling, but Star could never make out any words. His legs kicked away the covers, and continued to beat them against the end of his bed. His entire body squirmed, and the sweat running down Marco's cheeks and forehead made his entire face shine in the moonlight, and made his discomfort so painfully evident.

Truly, Star did not think Marco would get better immediately - _Princess_ Star might've, the naive girl from Mewni who got wide-eyed and excited over everything she found fascinating about her new, temporary home. But Star was older now, and though she would never call herself wiser, she at least knew better.

But that didn't stop her from wishing, and she wished Marco would have a good night's sleep. She wished he would feel better, that he wouldn't have these stupid nightmares anymore.

And that there was something, anything, she could do to help him.

In a quick couple of footsteps, Star shuffled her socked feet to Marco's bedside. She looked over him, watching him struggle with whatever demons he battled inside his skull. She didn't care about what he told her - that was the only explanation for being so restless when he should be _resting_.

_It had to be._ For Star could not bear the thought that... she...

She blanked her mind.

Star brought a hand to Marco's forehead, ignoring its dampness and just feeling the boy beneath it - warm, and real, and _alive._

She couldn't help but smile, especially after feeling him calm a little beneath her touch. Star liked to think that she had something to do with that.

"What can I do to help you, Marco?" she wondered aloud.

He moaned in discomfort, turning away from her touch and left his back exposed to her.

"Well, if you insist," Star joked, but her humor quickly gave way to weariness. "Alright," she sighed, "guess we're making this another slumber party."

Star reached over and grabbed the comforter. Slinging part of it over her shoulder, she climbed up and laid herself beside Marco, then draped the blanket over the two of them. She made sure to maintain physical contact with the boy, pressing her shoulder into his back.

She yawned. "Good night, Marco." She waited for a response that never came before wishing, "Sweet dreams."

* * *

Waking up to his hoodie-red face still got a kick out of Star, and Dr. Majesty offered an amused smirk as the princess cackled away.

"Yeah, Marco was a _little_ surprised when he found me this morning!" she finished, her feet kicking back and forth. "But I told him I had a bad dream and didn't want to be alone."

"You should _see_ him when he gets like that - all concerned, asking if I'm okay and would like to talk about it. He's so _cute_ like that." The princess sifted through her mind, but nothing she didn't already say came up. "I guess that's it, Maj. That's what's on in," Star put two fingers to her forehead and concluded in a silly voice, _"mah mahnd!"_

"I see." Dr. Majesty tapped a finger against her cheek. She seemed to be thinking hard about something, her eyes got all squinty. "And how do _you_ feel, Star?"

"Mad," she answered promptly. "I want Marco to feel better, but nothing we do seems to work! And we've tried witch doctors, Maj. _Witch doctors!_ They smell like wet dog!" Her repeated failures only served to irk Star further, until she became truly annoyed when one, annoying little gremlin of an idea came to mind: "I mean, sure, there's _one_ way we haven't tried yet, but Marco's not letting me do it." Star crossed her arms with a huff. "He's being so difficult about it, too. He's not even willing to give it a _try_."

With sympathy, Dr. Majesty said, "I imagine this has all been very taxing on you," just as Star let out a great, big yawn.

"Sorry, whazzat?" Dr. Majesty merely hummed in agreement. Star felt her ears grow red. "Right..."

A thought struck Star, a niggling she had on her way over here, as she waited for the doctor, and even while she retold her story. It was annoying in the same way that Ludo was annoying, and Star wondered if, maybe, Dr. Majesty could help her the same way she helped Marco with his problems.

She started drumming her fingers against her seafoam-green skirt. "Dr. Majesty?" The sudden use of her full name made the older woman lean in attentively. "Can I... be honest with you for a second?"

"I always encourage it, Star."

"Heehee, right..." The princess's amusement faded, and in a small voice, with quick words and eyes squeezed shut she blurted out, _"I think Marco's hiding something from me."_

She cracked one eye open to find the doctor reeling slightly from this revelation. "Oh, is that all? Star, everybody is hiding _something_ , even from loved ones."

"No! I mean no, I know _that_. What I mean is, well," _Do I have to say it out loud?_ Star thought in dismay. In a single breath she said, "I think that Marco's not being totally one-hundred-percent honest with me about his dreams, okay?"

The doctor blinked, then spoke slow, uncertain, "You... think he's..."

"I dunno," Star said promptly, deciding that she didn't wish to hear whatever this woman assumed she thought. "That Marco does remember some of his dreams, and he's lying because he doesn't want me to worry?" Star shook her head. "I know, I must sound totally crazy. But it's been on my mind since the day this all started."

Star vividly remembered that impromptu Friendship Friday - what movie they were watching ( _Army of Darkness!_ ), what they were eating (Hamburger Helper-topped nachos!), the very lurch of terror she felt the instant Marco let out a scream. And she still remembered that disgusting feeling, when she was convinced Marco withheld the truth from her. If she weren't so certain, Star would be ashamed of thinking such a thing.

"Every time his nightmares come up, it's something that always crosses my mind. I _hate_ it. I don't want to think it, but I do anyway. Even..."

A sigh - just saying it aloud felt all sorts of wrong.

"...Even this morning, after that huge argument we had the other day, and we _promised_ to be honest to one another... it still came up. Even though I know in my heart that it isn't true, I still have this feeling that Marco is trying not to worry me. Worst part is I know, _I know_ that that's the only reason why. And I know I'm being dumb for feeling this way."

"You aren't being 'dumb,' Star," Majesty told her in a firm, but soft voice. "This is something that is clearly bothering you, something that you should definitely talk to Marco about."

_"We have."_

The sharpness of her tone, while unintended, was worth seeing the hilariously blank look on the doctor's face, with the way she went, "Huh?" and stammered, "Y-You have?"

Star nodded, as if it were obvious. "Yeah, we have! Practically every time I had to wake him up when he couldn't, we talked about it. And Marco still won't be reasonable!" Star groaned into her hands, ashamed of her own aggravation.

"Why can't I stop feeling like Marco... I dunno!" She threw her hands up. "Like he doesn't trust me? Like he feels this stupid sense of pride because I'm always saving his butt? I don't know, it just makes me feel so... so _useless_ because of it. I want to help him, but he won't let me! And this whole stupid dream-business has done nothing but get us into more arguments... I just want things to go back to _normal_." Star pulled her knees up to her chest, and rested her forehead against them.

She liked normal - normal was being perfect besties with Marco. Normal was fighting monsters with Marco, going dimension hopping, getting into trouble and having someone to make everything better.

Normal made _sense._

"Star-"

"Why doesn't he trust me, Dr. Majesty?" She lifted her head, and met the older woman's somber gaze. "Can you at least tell me if he said that much? About the dreams?"

She watched intently, seeing the battle waged within the doctor until, after just a few beats, she replied, "If Marco's lied to you, then he's been lying to me as well."

Star thought as much, but she couldn't deny the sinking feeling in her chest. "And that means I really am just being a dummy." A dismal tone reflected her feelings like a mirror, and she gazed off to the side, reveling as such.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Star."

What Dr. Majesty said piqued her interest, but the knowing way she spoke naturally appealed to Star's curiosity. "What do you mean?"

She noticed one fist clenched and resting against Majesty's knee, and how it opened suddenly and fell limp when she admitted, "Sometimes, I really hate our confidentiality policy, especially when it can help!"

Now Star felt her previous excitement return - it always did, in a way. "You can tell me, I'm great at keeping secrets!" She whisper-yelled, "Nobody will know, I promise!"

"No, Star. Even for you, I won't make an exception." Her no-nonsense tone reminded Star so much of her mother, but she felt something entirely different hearing it from Majesty, who was smirking at her instead of frowning disapprovingly.

"Yeah," Star relented, though she didn't like it. "I hear ya."

Star looked at her hands - her fingers twiddled, then clasped together.

"I wish..." She corrected herself, for the different word just felt more right to Star: "I _hope_ you can help me with this. Like you helped Marco." Star kept her face lowered, too abashed over practically begging this human woman with her silly problems to meet her at eye-level. Star peeked through her bangs instead.

Dr. Majesty did not meet her gaze, or even look at her at all, judging her like she thought she would. Rather, her eyes were like twin emeralds, twinkling as they danced between the clipboard she picked up and the princess in front of her.

Finally, after much flicking back and forth, they suddenly locked eyes. "Star," she said, "I have an idea. Would you like to play a little game?"

The princess did a double-take; Star would never say no to a game, and though she was spontaneous herself even she found this sudden change in topic to be a little strange, especially with how yellow and green she's been feeling. Yet, she trusted Dr. Majesty to know what she was doing. "Uh, sure?" She put on a smile. "What kind of game? Will it fix whatever is wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you, Star. And I'm going to prove it."

_Tch, send the report to my mom when you're done._ Star nodded, a new energy beginning to course her body and make her antsy. "So, how do we play?"

"It isn't a game like that," Majesty explained. "Not in the traditional sense, anyway. But in order to do this, I need to know that I will have your _full_ cooperation. Understand me?"

"Hm, I dunno," Star shrugged. "I have a very strict code when it comes to rules and fun; basically, if they interfere with the fun, then they shouldn't be allowed."

Dr. Majesty, for once, did not seem so amused. "I'm being serious, Star."

Mirroring her, she replied, "And so am I!" There was a beat where neither said a word, and Star began to feel sweat gather above her brow. "Okay, okay. This is to get better, so I suppose I'll make an exception."

"It's only fair," said Majesty. "I made one for you."

Star gasped. "That's _true_! All right, Maj. What do we do first?" She folded her arms, ready for anything.

"Okay, first..." she spoke in a sudden, flat change in tone, "I want you to relax."

"I am!" The response she got, a harsh clearing of the throat, forced Star to check herself. She still felt her previous energy pump through her veins.

_Okay,_ she thought to herself, breathing deep and then exhaling. _This is to help me. Let's be serious._

After a few more breathes, the tautness in her arms loosened, and her breaths flowed easily through her lungs instead of being held for several seconds. Star decided she was relaxed enough to proceed. "Alright, calm. What next?"

"Lie down." In one, swift movement, Star stretched herself across the forest-green sofa she sat upon, laced fingers over her belly. Once settled, Dr. Majesty explained, "I will ask you a question, Star. And when I do, I don't want you to think about it. Not at all. Just answer it."

"A question? What kind of game is that?"

" _Star,_ " came a warning tone.

"Alright, alright. So, just... don't think?"

"In a sense," Majesty replied. She pulled the chair closer to the sofa, so that she was looking down at Star, but not in the girl's field of vision when she gazed straight up into the ceiling. "I don't want you to put too much thought into this question. I just want you to speak with your feelings. So, don't think. Only feel."

"Only feel. Gotcha." Even though she was told to relax, Star still felt that rise within her stomach, that excitement of anticipation as she awaited Dr. Majesty's fateful question.

"Alright Star, do you feel ready?"

Star replied as honestly as possible. "Maybe!"

Dr. Majesty brought her clipboard in front of her, and leafed to an assumedly fresh page. "Okay, very well..."

There was the click of a pen.

"What is Marco to you?"

"Huh?" Star squeaked. "Marco-?"

"Upupup. Remember what I said."

"Right, right. Okay, okay..." _Don't think,_ Star told herself, like a command. _Don't think, only feel._ "Marco Diaz," she sounded the "z" out, "what... is... Marco? What are my thoughts on Marco? Thoughts... on... Marco..."

Oddly enough, the first thing to come to mind was the first day she met him. Star felt a bit of nostalgia, but mostly happiness, and the warmth that followed filled her chest like a water balloon. She made sure to give special attention to what she felt from those memories.

Star spoke aloud without any thought to her words.

"I really wanted to be his friend when we first met. He didn't like me very much, but in one day we became besties, and partners in crime. So... he's definitely those things." Star glanced up at Dr. Majesty.

She was scribbling away on her clipboard, never breaking pace. "Alright, alright. Continue, please."

Star thought back on that first day, thought about their first fight, both with words and fists, against and alongside one another. She didn't realize she was smiling. "I don't know how the principal thought we'd be best friends, but he was right. He called Marco 'The Safe Kid,' and I didn't get it at the time, that people were teasing him. I do it too, but that's because Marco makes it so easy. He tries being a cool kid, but that's not him. He's a great friend, and a really nice guy, and still he thinks he's this misunderstood bad boy! It's... really funny."

She giggled a bit to emphasize this point.

"Marco's a great partner to have in battle, though; he's a karate master... I never had a buddy to have at my side in battle before. I... never really had a friend like him before coming here, except for Pony Head. And together, him and I are an invincible team. We get beaten up sometimes, but that just gives us something to do when we get back home... just lie on my bed and... compare battle scars." Star hummed for a moment. "That's kind of a lie, only I do that. But Marco does too in a way - he's just too busy worrying over me, covering me with bandages that have little smiley faces on them. Those are my favorite."

"...He's also a great cook! I _never_ had someone make food with me before coming here. Every time I ate, food was just _there_. Now I make everything I eat with Marco and his family. They sometimes teach me how, but ever since I burned the cereal we all agreed that I should stick to magic and monster-fighting... Ooh! I love it when Marco makes his nachos! He makes them for me whenever I want, you really gotta try them. Honestly, _everybody_ should try them!" Star held out her hands in front of her while she said this.

"They're great, yet no one..." Her smile faltered, and a weight was suddenly against her chest. "And no one knows how special they are... No one gives him a chance." Unseen by Star, Dr. Majesty rose a brow. The princess continued without realizing for herself. "They don't realize how great of a friend Marco is. He's always willing to lend me his support, whether it's in a scrap or something really silly."

"I think that's what I like most about him. He's always so helpful with everything I do; he puts me before himself, and I get so _annoyed_ yet so... _happy,_ that he does. I once thought he was trying to be a hero. But... he _wasn't_. He was just being my best friend, Marco... I feel like there's just no one else like him, there never will be and I'm... I'm glad that he's _there_. Beside me."

Memories of her times with Marco, the adventurous, the mundane, and everything in between, came to mind.

"...You know what? ...I think _that's_ what I like the most about Marco. I know that no matter what happens, no matter what I do, or how dangerous things get... Marco's _always_ gonna be there."

Star remembered it all, lost in the vault of her own memories, reliving every single one at once.

"In every dimension we go - the weird, the fun, the scary... all their dangers, the monsters we fight, fights we have... Marco will have my back. And he'll always try to make me happy."

She remembered the fortune cookies, riding a bike, cooking with him, playing board games.

"Marco just makes _sense._ I'm..." a laugh, "I'm not smart enough to explain what that _means_ , and so I start feeling like such a dummy. But... that's just _it_ ; Marco would tell me that I'm not, that I _am_ smart enough and I can _do it_ because, because he's got me and I would believe in him for believing in _me,_ and I'd be able to tell him why he means so much to me, why I'm willing to do so many crazy things for him."

She remembered Ludo's castle. _This isn't about ME!_ echoed sharply in her mind.

"I wish I could..."

But then she remembered what they shared after each incident. The quiet assurance to one another that _I'm still here. I'm here, and I got you._

"Then I could tell him why he's my best friend... why... he's my mess-up twin... and my..."

_"How did you know my name?"_ she asked the mysterious boy, as they waltzed beneath ruby moonlight.

_"...my..."_

_"It's me! Marco!"_

_...my soulmate._ What felt like a solid ball of lead sunk deep into her chest.

The thought went unspoken, unfinished, but Star felt it all the same. She didn't know what, specifically, but the need to help her best friend was stronger, louder, than ever.

She was staring blankly at the ceiling before she started blinking consciously, rapidly, as if emerging from a trance. Her eyes were growing rapidly blurrier with every beat.

Star quickly sat herself up, palms rubbing into her eyes. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, embarrassment red on her cheeks. "I don't know what got into me!" She chuckled, but even to her it sounded incredibly feeble. She felt Dr. Majesty's hand pat her on the knee. "I never get that feels-y. And I didn't even answer the question right, did I?"

Majesty handed her a tissue. "You said all that needed to be said, Star."

That didn't sound right to her, but Star attributed it to blowing her nose too loud. "So, I passed?" she wondered cautiously.

The doctor simpered. "Yes, you passed."

"Oh, sweet!" Star clapped her hands together, but froze abruptly when asking, "And what did this do, exactly?"

Dr. Majesty clicked her pen once more, and set it aside along with the clipboard. "It gave you perspective."

Star tilted her head. "'Perspective?' How?"

The doctor hesitated, her lips pursed as she chose her next words. "Star," she began, "would you believe me if I told you Marco felt the same way about you?"

That should not have been a surprise to Star - she and Marco cared deeply about one another. It only made sense that he felt similarly towards his best friend, yet that didn't stop Star from feeling hot under the collar. "He... He said all that about me?" Her little heart was racing, and Star practically felt the blush creep its way up her neck - she said some fairly personal things back there.

She couldn't help the sinking feeling of disappointment when Dr. Majesty shook her head. "Not precisely. But I can tell he feels the same for you, as you do him."

"Are you sure?" Star wondered, oddly desperate to know.

She giggled a bit, lightening the air, when Dr. Majesty replied, "Of course I'm sure. It's my job!"

Star did not have a response to follow, she still had Marco on her mind, and what the doctor just said. Even if he didn't literally say all that she did, Dr. Majesty believed he felt just the same. _And she's really smart. She must be right!_

"Wow," was all Star could breathe, and she did so quite stupidly (not that she ever cared before).

Without another word, she watched Dr. Majesty rise from her chair. Star was about to follow, until she was asked, "Do you mind?" The woman gestured a hand to the space beside her.

"Yeah, of course, of course." Star eagerly pat the seat.

Dr. Majesty lowered herself down beside the princess, taking a second to smooth out her skirt before fully committing. From this close, Star could smell the vanilla perfume the woman wore.

"Star," she began, looking at her lap, then her eyes, "I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Marco - we're all willing to do crazy things for those we love. I'm hoping you should understand me - you've done these things yourself."

Star's mind flashed Toffee's grinning face. She nodded quietly.

"These things we do, they... guide us, in a way. They show us how much we care for one another. And sometimes, these crazy things we do? They can be incredibly _stupid_. And sometimes, our loved ones will not understand why we do those things. They might grow angry, or fearful, not in a way that is particularly _negative_ , no. But it's because of the love two people share that makes them care so much. It's why communication is so important to us as individuals. Without it, there's only chaos - doing things without reason, without explanation. It can rip us apart, and make us spiteful."

Star Butterfly nodded. She heard everything the doctor was saying, and, she believed, understood her meaning. All the while, that annoying gremlin was in her brain, egging her on.

She did what she could to ignore it, yet even so, she had to ask Dr. Majesty, "But what if the people we care about don't want our help? What if they don't want us doing these things?"

"That's just because they care, Star. They don't want their loved ones fretting over them, fearing for them, because then they feel responsible."

Star had little doubt now that this was how Marco felt. _You're such a dummy,_ she thought to herself, but she knew Marco could sense the jab, even with Echo Creek between them, and know it was in good humor.

"Sometimes," Majesty continued, "we know what's best for our loved ones, even if they don't think so. Sometimes, you just have to push a little, get under their armor, because, well, that's just what we _do_ , Star. Those are the things we do for love."

Those last words echoed within the princess's mind, over and over until she met the doctor's eyes again. An unspoken understanding was shared between them, Star felt it herself. This, she felt, was proved when they both nodded simultaneously.

"I hear ya, Maj." A ball of fire had ignited, swelled, and burst in Star's chest. Fire coursed through her body, and she leapt up from the couch with as big a grin as she could manage. "You've been a lot of help. I really appreciate it!"

Majesty, still seated, frowned. "Wait, you're leaving already?" She sounded so disappointed, that Star couldn't help but pull out her wand and poof a lollipop into existence, which the doctor was startled to find held between her own fingers.

"I need to go home now, but I'm gonna see you again!" Star promised. "There's definitely a lot more stuff I wanna talk to you about."

Majesty stood, offering her hand. "Would you like my card, at least?"

Star shook it with long, wide strokes. "Nah! I'll find you. I'm _really_ good at finding people, trust me." Having a pair of dimensional scissors also helped, but Star wanted to maintain some of her mystery for the _Star_ -struck doctor.

Said doctor relented with a subdued smile. "Very well, then. In that case, I will see you in the future, Ms. Butterfly. It's been a genuine pleasure talking with you."

"Awe, _same_!" cooed the princess, embracing Dr. Majesty in a big, glomming hug. She felt the sudden stiffness in the doctor's body dissipate a moment later, around the time Star felt a set of arms circle around her.

After a few last goodbyes, Star ran home. She was glad Marco had karate Fridays after school, it would give her more privacy for practice time with Glossaryck, and some time to get a quick nap in.

For Star needed all the rest she could get before entering Marco's mind.

* * *

_**Uh-Oh.** _

_**So Star, being Star, of course completely misinterpreted pretty much everything that Dr. Majesty told her. Not that Star doesn't already understand why Marco quote-unquote "lied" to her (which, mind you, is something that Star herself didn't fully believe anyway), which was Majesty's point, but she inadvertently got Star thinking about crossing a line she feels justified now to cross.** _

_**Let us see if her efforts bear any kind of fruit.** _


	10. And unexpected Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star and Marco are faced with an unexpected danger.

**WARNING: This chapter is somewhat graphic. While it isn't grotesquely so, I wanted to keep it necessary, but tasteful, there is the chance you MIGHT find the content to be a little disturbing.**

**If you are, then the chapter has done its job, but I hope you keep in mind that it's for the sake of the plot.**

* * *

"Marco, Marco look!" hissed a voice beside him.

He wanted to pay attention to the lecture though - it was hard to hear, but Ms. Skullnick had been droning on about psychodynamic theory for the last hour, currently mumbling that famous quote by George Santayana. Marco's glazed stare lingered at the chalkboard for a few more seconds before turning in Star's direction.

"What's up?" he whispered.

"Look at what _AH_ drew!" She grinned, dancing her paper in front of him. None of it resembled Marco's notes, just all doodles of the two of them battling some angry-looking monsters.

Marco wanted to roll his eyes, but he offered an amused smile instead. That seemed to please Star, who grinned one last time before resuming her doodling. Returning to his own paper, Marco tried focusing on taking notes but now he couldn't help but think about Star and her work ethic (or lack thereof). Though neither he nor she cared, for Star would never have to worry about her future, he felt she would really get something out of this lesson.

Marco leaned over and whispered, "Star, you should pay attention."

The princess did not look up from her paper, just continued scribbling. She replied at regular volume, "No way! This is _so much_ better!"

Wincing, Marco continued to whisper, "I just think you'd-"

"HEY, DIAZ!" a harsh voice snapped, nearly jolting Marco out of his seat. With her yellow eyes and huge teeth, Ms. Skullnick looked particularly _less_ ferocious than she used to. Sometimes though, she managed to rival her old appearance when glaring down the length of her warty nose, like now. "Stop worrying about Butterfly and _pay attention!_ This'll be very important later." Grumbling about "the degenerates," the trollish woman turned back to the blackboard.

Marco grimaced, shooting a sidelong look at Star. That was when he noticed her face directed at Skullnick, and felt a drop in his stomach. It was that same face she made whenever she got an idea - her eyes were squinty, and an impish smile curled her lips.

It meant only one thing.

"Star-"

" _Skull_ -zy," the princess chastised, "don't you teach _math_ or something?"

_Oh, no..._

Skullnick was deceptively fast for someone her size: the teacher whirled on Star and pelted the stick of chalk at her, though she swiftly ducked to avoid getting hit. The writing utensil clinked softly against the window, and fell to the floor in two cleaved pieces. "Cork it, Princess! Leave if you aren't going to participate, you're just a distraction for Diaz anyway!" she snarled. Star merely beamed an angelic little smile.

When Skullnick turned, Marco heard Star ask aloud, "Since when did anybody participate in this class?"

 _"OOOOOHHHHH!"_ went the class.

"Walk yourself down to detention since you can't seem to behave!" The teacher pointed a hooked finger from Star to the doorway.

Excitement erupted across Star's face. "Sweet, an excuse to hang out with Janna!" She leisurely strolled past Marco.

They exchanged a glance, and Marco mouthed a bewildered, _"Why?"_

Star shot him a knowing grin that said, ' _Because I can!'_

Marco shook his head; just another day in school, really. He resumed taking notes, but found himself in the middle of a different lecture. Lost, he scrambled to turn to a new sheet, except every page in his notebook was filled with Star's silly drawings.

 _Dang it, Star!_ He swore, that would be the last time he let her borrow his notebook to "copy" notes, if this was what she did instead. But, Marco knew that wouldn't happen - she would give him those damnable puppy-dog eyes, and he would cave in.

As always.

Grimacing, Marco resorted to writing on his right hand, uncaring that he was using one of Star's permanent markers. Several minutes after she left, and with his arm practically tattooed there was so much ink, Marco found himself back in the groove of note-taking. It didn't last very long, however.

For an explosion shook his world.

Some books fell from the shelves, and a deep, guttural rumble rolled over their heads, in their ears, beneath their feet. Marco and he suppose everyone else gripped their desks, shock written ghastly-grim on each of their faces. Even Skullnick, whose deceptive troll-strength kept her upright, looked rattled but more annoyed than anything. "What in the world was that?!" she cried, trudging over to the window, along with the rest of the class.

Whispers and murmurings frantic and frightened rose amongst the students, but Marco felt true, chilling fear sink its teeth into his spine, and stop him from making any sounds, or any thought at all, really.

From the other side of campus, a column of thick, grey smoke billowed skywards.

Marco wondered if this was real; the sinking feeling in his gut assured him so. Hazily, he looked about - students continued to whisper amongst themselves, too frightened to speak at normal volume. He found Alfonzo and Ferguson, texting their parents.

"We are _so_ going home early," the larger of the two muttered.

Marco's jaw dropped. "Someone could be hurt! Are you serious?"

Alfonzo just shook his head at their friend's silliness. "Relax, Marco! It's not like there's any monsters that would come after you and put us all in _danger_. They're all dead, aren't they?"

"That's not the-!" Marco froze. He gave his two friends a wary eye. "Wait, did Star tell you that?"

_"EVERYBODY GET DOWN!"_

Marco had less than a second to wonder if that was Skullnick bellowing in her scratchy voice: from the corner of his eye, he saw a school bus flying towards their window.

In a flash of movement he had his arms hooked around the boys' necks and tackled them to the floor. Half a heartbeat later, everything went to Hell.

A terrible cacophony tore his world and hearing to shreds - glass sang their horrible song as they tinkled all around and atop Marco's back, a few flicks were felt bouncing off his hair. Stone erupted, bursting forth, many pieces even slamming and exploding into gravel against the floor beyond his huddled form. He was sure he heard the distinctive impact against flesh, and the cry of pain that followed a couple times, but the glass was absolutely deafening, until he realized that it was his own ears ringing.

And just as quickly as it began, there was silence.

 _Oh my God._ Marco did not realize how bad he was shaking, like he drank too much caffeine and knocked back a couple of Cokes for good measure.

He dared to lift his head, but couldn't even make it that far and instead peaked underneath his arm. Surrounded by debris, he spotted Brittney. She was laying back as if making a snow angel, surrounded by debris, her cheerleader outfit tarnished and red seeping from beneath her raven-black hair. Skittish Sabrina was gazing down on her with a blank face, frizzled hair matted with dust and her lips moving, but Marco couldn't make out any words. He had an idea though, if the way she was continuously nudging Brittney's shoulder were any indication.

He didn't hear her start to shriek as Chantelle, who had a thin finger of blood running from her temple, simply knelt behind her and yanked her away from their cheerleader captain. The two fought against one another without either putting in much effort - they moved about as well as Marco felt.

 _Oh my God._ His vision grew blurry, and for a moment he thought it was all the dust until the tears prickled his eyes, and sickness fill his throat. His thoughts were broken:

_What is happening._

_Is Brittney okay._

_Oh, God._

_I'm not ready for this._

_Where is Star._

_What do we do._

_What is happening._

_What is happening..._

A distinctive growl, a groan, he realized, rumbled its way into his thoughts.

Behind him, where the bus crashed through.

Marco scrambled until he was turned fully, Alfonzo and Ferguson sluggishly following suit, they themselves pale and trembling.

He turned to witness, in equal parts awe and terror, Ms. Skullnick's huge pulsing arms push against the bus halfway into the building lengthwise, and stop it from cleaving through the classroom and her students like piss through snow. A few of them were on the ground behind her, looking upon their teacher with wide, ghostly eyes. Jackie, Thompson and Chett to name a few, all of whom equally rattled - their eyes were wide, mouths hanging open; petrified faces all.

Slowly, when it was clear it would move any further the teacher backed away, keeping one hand on the bus until she was so far even the very tips of her fingers could not maintain contact.

Skullnick still kept her stricken gaze locked on the demolished vehicle though, hesitantly gesturing with her hand for the students behind her to stand, which they did one by one, until all were corralled into the middle of the room. Marco followed, but not before helping Sabrina and Chantelle carry Brittney over there when he saw them dragging her by the shoulders; he grabbed her ankles, though he didn't realize what he had done until both girls whimpered thanks.

"Is this everybody?" he heard himself asking.

Though not too him, he heard Ms. Skullnick let out a meek little grumble that sounded like, "Oh, my baby..."

He looked back, followed her lowered head and noticed on the ground Marisol's cage, and with a clenching in his chest, the tiny creature inside; motionless, _dead_ , its furry little stomach still as the grave.

 _This can't be happening,_ cried his heart, while his brain went, _This is real and it's happening._

Marco's entire body, his arms, legs, even his chest still burned with a dull ache - not painful enough to cry over, but not enough of anything to feel beyond that. He was just _numb_.

He almost missed what was happening right in front of him, Ms. Skullnick addressing the class. Even she, always spoken with grit and certainty that the entire world except her sucked, spoke as if half her mind was in another dimension entirely.

"Kids... Kids, help's gonna come," she told them, meeting each and every one of their eyes. Behind her, the door to the back of the bus limply fell open. "Help'll come, but we need to, to remain _calm_ , and get out _the Hell_ outta here in an orderly fashion, head outside..."

"Not... without... _me,_ " came the slow, sinister command - from directly behind Skullnick it sounded, making her flinch and whirl around, stand protectively in front of her class. Everyone huddled together, but Marco stood at the very edge. They were not expecting someone else to be here.

But Marco was not expecting to see him again, not after Star tossed him into the Abyss. His heart sank, and his eyes grew wide as they could.

"Nobody's leaving this room without my say-so," Ludo told them, stamping slowly away from the bus.

Marco was in disbelief, especially with how awful he looked. Ludo was never a handsome creature to begin with, but he at least kept himself shaven before - now he had a beard, tangled and greasy, the three knots it was tied into brushing against the debris-strewn ground. He also wore rags, moth-eaten and stained with all kinds of fluids. Even red, Marco noticed with a chill.

Then he noticed his eyes, yellow as ever, but dark and sunken, and he couldn't bear to exchange a glance with the creature. But Marco felt the hatred they exuded when his gaze passed over him.

Ludo said nothing to his presence, however. "That was just a sneak preview for what's to come!" the lordly monster spoke with glee, as he was now on the other side of the class.

Growling, Ms. Skullnick pushed her way towards him, maintaining her shielding stance.

This just seemed to entertain Ludo - he sneered a toothy, rotten smile. "How _cute!_ " he squawked sharply. "But I'd worry less about me and more about _them_."

 _Them?_ Marco wondered - did Ludo obtain more minions?

Heavy creaking behind them answered, plodding footsteps resounding within the wrecked bus. The class whirled around, huddling around their teacher for security. One by one, they hopped down from the doorway, and walked over to join their master at his side. So big were they and so numerous that the kids were pushed closer and closer to Ludo.

They saw monsters, and started to scream.

Marco saw the dead, and he couldn't even do that much.

Deer Beard, with half his namesake missing along with the rest of his face. He took his rightful place beside Ludo, as ever.

Bearicorn, his tongue lolling out until the boy, to his horror, realized he had nowhere to tuck it away.

The Big Chicken, charred black, and smelling grotesquely enough to make Marco swear off the meat forever.

Man Arm, but without half his strength, only what his name stood for. He had to hunch over, for the ceiling was too short.

Three-Eyed Potato Baby had trouble squeezing through the narrow doorway, but with a red mess taking the place of his once-impressive stomach, he managed. In his arms was some twisted up green thing, which Marco realized was the guy with frills on his neck and a horn on his head. Without those, Marco was unsure if he would have recognized the twitching meat-pile.

Lobster Claws followed. He seemed normal enough, but with every step he took an obvious sloshing sound from within was heard. Marco wondered if the flesh inside was still attached to his carapace.

The final and most horrific of the monsters came last: a barrel-chested body of yellow fur, with a pair of devil-horned heads and their tri-pectoral'd upper body plunked on top. The giraffe guy, Marco remembered, except now a third of his height and the seat of the legless twins. They joined Ludo on his right side.

His army surrounded the class.

Every one of their eyes, those who still had them, were white as snow, and they moved like statues after finding a place to stand.

"Surprised, Karate Boy?"

Marco was still gawking at the living dead surrounding him and his classmates. "Ludo," he muttered, haunted, "what... what did you _do_?"

The cretin replied, "Dark magic is pretty easy with a heart as black as our's! Now," he stomped over to Marco, and asked slow and sadistically, _"where is Star Butterfly?"_

He dared not to hit Ludo, much as he wanted to plant his foot in the tiny monster's beak, and smash it repeatedly until he heard it shatter. No, not without Star. Not with his friends around. And most definitely not where there could be so much collateral.

"She's in detention," he said, glaring down at the kappa. He spoke grimly, "Why don't I take you over there, and we can all catch up? I'm sure Star would _love_ to kick your teeth in again."

 _I have to get him away from everybody._ Marco was betting his plan on Ludo still being a moron.

The little guy chuckled. "I'm sure she would, but, why should I leave with just _you_ , when I have _so many_ potential hostages?"

His heart sunk. _Crap..._

"You're not touching the children!" Skullnick roared.

Ludo tilted his head, face struck with confusion. "Is that impudence I hear?" He tsk'd, tsk'd, tsk'd. "Men?"

In eerie harmony, the monsters rose their fists.

"Kill her."

They closed in at once. The class screamed. And Skullnick only managed to grab Bearicorn's fist before Three-Eyed Potato Baby shoved his gory armful at her neck, and their teacher let out a strangled cry. When he pulled back, allowing Lobster Claws to come in with both weapons raised, his buddy's horn glistened red, and a puncture wound left behind in Ms. Skullnick wept profusely.

She fell back with a single slash of the lobster monster's claw. Marco couldn't even bear to look at the damage he'd done, but he could hear how bad it was, how dire their situation had quickly become - Jackie, always so collected, started to openly sob.

" _That_ is what impudence will get you," Ludo announced, eyeing Skullnick's corpse with satisfaction.

The cheerleaders followed Jackie's suit, hugging one another in a death-squeeze. Ferguson and Alfonzo did as well, though they were louder than the rest. Marco felt like he should join them, but couldn't. He didn't know what to do.

Even as the monsters closed in again.

Even as they grabbed each of his classmates.

Even when he let out a roar. When he ran for Ludo. When he kicked the bastard in the jaw so hard he felt something snap loose against his toe.

"Corral them outside!" he heard Ludo cry as he was dragged away by Deer Beard. "I bet the others have already found the princess."

 _Others?_ Marco did not want to believe he heard right, but it couldn't have been anything else. _No, no no no..._

* * *

**_I did my best not to be too graphic - I hope I didn't frighten or disturb you to the point where you didn't want to read anymore. If you're concerned, I assure you after next chapter it will not continue._ **

**_Review, Fave, all that jazz._ **


	11. And Unexpected Things (pt 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star and Marco are faced with a terrifying situation

.

.

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_"...MARCO! WAKE **UP**!"_

A sharp gasp, and Marco was yanked back into the waking world. He swallowed air as if his body had forgotten what it was, and just now remembered. His arms trembled beneath him, and the shock of sudden life caused Marco to collapse on his side, catching his breath in between bouts of wheezing.

He heard someone right in front of him, but was too lost to make out what was said. The gnarly, whiny voice was a dead giveaway, however.

 _"Never seen him fight with such ferocity before,"_ said a voice, a deep growl in Marco's ears. _"He will make an excellent King one day."_

"Ludo..." he groaned into the pavement.

A quick patter of footsteps rushed to his ear. "Ah! He's still alive? ... _Yes?_ Eh-hexcellent!" He cackled, pleased.

Marco felt a thick pulsing behind his eyes, paining him to keep them open but he dragged his gaze upward. Ludo was sneering three inches from his face, but Marco didn't realize until he started speaking that it was stuck like that - his beak was no longer aligned from where he kicked him.

Marco latched onto whatever fleeting satisfaction he got from that, until the little monster started speaking so completely normal, even with his broken jaw clacking between words audibly. Marco felt his stomach do a flip every time. "Good to see you're awake!"

Marco winced - his voice was like nails on chalkboard. "Ludo..." was all he could manage once more before collapsing into a coughing fit. His entire body felt aflame, and his heart pounded away in his chest.

"She still hasn't given up." A sandal'd foot pressed against his side, and slowly, slowly he was rolled onto his back, Marco groaning all the while from the pain in his lungs. "Deer Beard gave you quite the wallop! Just both of you flying at each other, and ka- _pow!_ Square in the chest, down like a corpse. I was afraid he killed you too soon." A wistful sigh. "Even in undeath, I can't rely on these morons."

Marco wondered if this was still a dream, that if he opened his eyes again he would find himself in his bedroom, with Star choosing to magic her way in via scissors than knock "Earth-girl style," and they would laugh about it. Maybe, in some insane hope, this was one of those horrible nightmares that Star would rip him out of, and he wouldn't remember at all and be aggravated that he hasn't been cured. But at least he would be with Star, safe in his home, where Ludo and his monsters were dead and his classmates weren't in peril.

Instead, Marco felt a springtime breeze on his face, and the sting in his nose of a gruesomely familiar odor: charred poultry.

His skinny jeans and hoodie were tattered, and Marco wondered how that happened until suddenly the weight of a clawed foot pressed against his back, talons hazardously scissored on either side of his neck.

When Ludo spoke he sounded impressed, but Marco had trouble separating it from this newfound sadism the little creature founded in the Abyss. "I never saw you move like that, Karate Boy. I would have thought you kids wanted to save your friends! It seems I underestimated you once again, but I assure you that this will be the _last_ time."

Marco moaned in reply - he couldn't even will himself to speak if he wanted to. His ribs must have been broken, that was the only explanation for the crying ache within. He was too afraid anyway of the massive, curved swords that were Big Chicken's talons that Marco spotted in the corner of each eye; one move, one command, and it could slice through his neck like so much cheesecloth.

What happened? he wondered. When did Ludo become so cruel?

When did he become so _smart?_

Marco never realized how much more dangerous he could be if he just had a little more brains. An attack where they were most vulnerable, with so many innocents, Ludo may have gotten the wand a long time ago.

_The wand..._

Marco felt the crushing realization on his shoulders, or that may have been Big Chicken shifting its weight.

 _Where is Star?_ He vaguely began to recall how he got there - seeing Star kick some butt, firing spells left and right. It was enough to make him break out and fend off Ludo's army of the dead. He remembered barking pleads to his classmates, telling them to run. He hoped they were as far from here as possible.

Out of everything on his mind, Marco's mind screamed one thought, one question that had to be the last thing he knew if this was to be the end.

"What..." His voice was a whisper, faint, and broken.

But the kappa heard him nonetheless, as he was still beside his captive, who did not know why. Marco's face was forced to look at the pavement still as he smelled Ludo's gag-worthy cheese smell.

"Silence, karate boy!" He felt a pathetic little smack on the back of his head, though it was enough to force his nose into the concrete and inflict a dull ache upon it. "One more word, one more twitch of the fist, and your demise will be an agonizing one in Chicken's stomach acids." He giggled deliriously, but this just made Marco's question burn even hotter than before.

He powered through the pain glowering in his chest, every word feeling like a great effort that tears prickled his eyes. "What..." a deep, agonizing breath, "...happened to you... Ludo?"

It was a general question, but one that asked so much at once.

Marco cried out when a clawed hand gripped the front of his hair and yanked his head up, bending his neck at what felt like a ninety-degree angle. "She did," was all Ludo said, and for the first time that day without any hint of cheer.

And Marco had no choice but to stare ahead, at the sight of his best friend Star surrounded by the undead. She gripped the wand before her in both hands, aglow with the most powerful magic in the universe and keeping the monsters at bay. Every time one advanced, she would fire off a Rainbow Fist or Narwhal Blast and knock them back. Every time they were, they would get back up without so much as a wince of discomfort.

She was a mess: her hair matted, green dress tattered, cuts on her arms and legs. Even as far as he was, Marco could see how winded she was, the exhaustion bagging beneath her eyes and exuding a weariness that made him tired to even look at. She held herself in a way, like one prepared to die before giving up, and wanting that fateful moment to arrive soon.

Marco could only watch like the helpless Earth Turd he was. "Star!" he whimpered, moaned, and cried out all at once.

She somehow heard him, for her eyes flicked in his direction and their eyes met. Immediately Marco saw relief fill her entire body, and the spark of life return to her eyes, where sudden happiness welled and moistened them. "Marco!" Star shouted in mix-surprise and joy. She aimed her wand at the ground beneath her feet and cried out, _"Bunny Rocket-!"_

She would have launched into the air with a trail of sparkles and plush-rabbits left in her wake, probably ready to kick Big Chicken in the beak and free Marco, had Three-Eyed Potato Baby not rushed forward in a burst of unbelievable agility, and slammed his fist into the back of her head.

 _"STA-HA-HAR!"_ Marco screamed, just as Star's body met the pavement. _Oh my God, I did this I did this she was just fine until I distracted her. God Star, Star please please no don't do this to me..._

He struggled and snarled, wrenching his will against his pain and Big Chicken's weight, but even then he couldn't break free. The charred beast warbled, sounding amused by his efforts.

"She's still alive?!"

Marco whipped his head up - Ludo cried out in dismay, gripping a tassel of beard within each hand. Marco snapped his gaze wherever he was looking: Star was now perched above the headless torso of the giraffe monster, and judging from the writhing two-headed demon on the ground, he could guess what she just did.

With a bit of a slur in her words, and spitting them forcefully, Star waved her wand and cried, "Bunny... _Rocket Blast!_ "

She took to the air, and with a sharp cry beside and above Marco he felt the presence of death around his neck lifted, and only relief and happiness filled him as two callused hands gripped his own and hoisted him up. Wearily and unfocused, he uttered, "Star-"

Before something tackled him and a sharp pain lanced through his heart. _"I thought you were dead!"_ the Princess of Mewni sobbed.

 _"That's impossible, **and you know it** ," _Marco growled angrily, but that didn't seem weird to either of them. Instead Marco felt compelled to gaze skyward, past Star's bruise-sporting shoulder, where the sky was starless voice, and a red moon shone bright. It looked to be weeping blood.

He blinked in surprise, and the sky was blue once more. Spots of color danced across his vision - he must still reeling from everything happening at once, if his head pounding like a wardrum were of any indication.

Marco pulled away from Star, and she did him, though both kept their hands on each other's shoulders. "Star," he breathed, " _what is going on_?"

"They're..." As quick as it came, the light fled Star's eyes, and the palpable exhaustion returned. The princess sagged underneath his hands. "They want my wand, Marco."

That much was obvious, and did nothing to ease Marco's hurricane of questions. "Star, where is everyone?" He shook her a little - Star looked to be losing herself, looking more distant the longer their silence went on unbroken.

She even sounded as much. And Marco felt his stomach drop when all she said was, "They..."

Marco wanted to scream the question at her, but a throat cleared not far from them and grabbing both of their attention.

"I'll ask once more, Princess, for you to relinquish the wand." Ludo tilted his head to the side, one eye wider than the other, and his broken-beaked sneer dripped with oily spit and malice. "There's no need to walk your friends into slaughter. Hand it over, and we will show the mercy your people never gave us."

Star screamed in such righteous defiance, _"NEVER!"_ that Marco winced beside her - he never heard his friend so passionate in battle before. He felt her shift into a fighting stance, and Marco...

...Marco looked around. The living dead rejoined Ludo, their bodies still as the grave and awaiting their master's command. At least a dozen of them, he counted, even several he didn't remember hopping off the bus - the black crocodile, the three-eyed boar, Spike Balls to name a few. Every one of their eyes a milky white, and oily foam dribbling from their crooked teeth.

Marco wished he could be as fearless as Star, more than anything he did not want to fail her. He wanted to fight until he had no fight left, or these guys killed him. But Marco couldn't stop looking at the destruction around them - the broken windows, the cracked pavement. His class was nowhere in sight. Marco prayed they fled to safety when he and Star were fighting.

"Star..." He didn't mean to sound so defeated, like a beaten dog. "Ms. Skullnick, she's... she _died_ , Star... Our friends might be hurt, or worse. If, If there's a chance we might stop this-"

 _"I said 'never,'"_ the princess cut in, in a voice colder than Marco ever heard from her before. She never looked his way; her eyes just narrowed further. "Marco, you know what'll happen if Ludo gets the wand. It'll be like this but in Mewni. Thousands will _die_. We can't give it to him, Marco. _We can't give in and let him win_."

"..." Marco wanted to say more, the urge was powerful, the desire to protest even moreso. But he couldn't argue with Star's logic - she was right.

Goddammit she was _right_.

Reluctantly, with determination setting his face firm, Marco took a stance. "We'll never let you win, Ludo..."

" _Never_." Beside him, Star grinned.

The little monster before them growled and stamped around, and for a second Marco saw the old Ludo again. In dismay he asked the heavens, "How many of these brats must I execute before you two surrender!?"

His question left Marco reeling. He shook, his heart stopping as quickly as the implications hit him. Slowly, Marco turned towards his friend, arms now at his sides while the princess kept both fists in front of her. "...St-Star?" he stammered. The world started spinning, and Marco didn't want to but his mouth asked anyway, "What does he mean?"

Star's brows furrowed. "We can't let him have the wand, you know-"

_**"STAR!"** _

The princess winced, and finally whipped her startled gaze around to meet his own. "...M-Marco-"

"Is he telling the truth? Ha-Has he... he already killed...?" He couldn't even finish his question, for Star directed her attention back at the monsters.

When she spoke, he could hear her forcing her voice to stay firm. "Ludo can't have the wand, Marco. But... we can stop him from hurting anymore people!"

Ludo watched their back and forth until Star said that, where threw his head back laughing. "Only you can do that, Princess!" Ludo snapped his fingers. "Bring her forward!"

 _Her? Who?_ Marco wondered, until he saw Three-Eyed Potato Baby stomp forth. Each of his namesakes were milky and dead, but somehow Marco sensed them _looking_ right at him as he carried someone forth with both arms wrapped around her. This was a monster Marco hadn't feared once in his life, a creature as simple-minded as he was harmless from the many interactions they've had. But he was also ludicrously strong, just too dumb to make effective use of it until today.

For squeezed just above the red ruin of his stomach, was Jackie Lynn Thomas, sporting numerous cuts on her arms and toned legs, and quite the grisly bruise on her once-flawless face, just beneath the eye. It was an angry, deep purple, and a little bit yellow already.

Her eyes were wide with terror, and they were looking right into Marco's and he couldn't will himself to look away no matter how hard he wanted to. "Marco!" she cried. "They-They've-!" Immediately the girl started writhing, screeching like the boy'd never heard from the laidback skater before. Three-Eyed Potato Baby's hold was ungodly, though. "They killed everybody Marco! I'm, oh God _oh my God_ , Marco I'm so _scared..._ "

Ludo sighed with pleasure. "Ah! Now how about the karate boy's girlfriend for the wand?" he bargained. "You don't want to hurt your best friend now, do you Princess?"

Marco felt himself torn into several pieces - Jackie's cries, her being hurt, everyone they _knew..._

...And _Star..._

"Star..." Even his own voice sounded not from his own lips, but somewhere far, far away. Somewhere where none of this horrible stuff was happening, he imagined. "Star... for the love of God, Star... They're gonna hurt Jackie." He couldn't bear to even speak the "k" word.

His pleas went unrequited - Star didn't even move a muscle, just continued staring down her arch-nemesis. "We can't cave in, Marco. If he wins, it's over, and Jackie, Earth... it would all be in danger."

Marco was petrified, his bones locked in place, unable to believe what he was hearing. "No..."

"So what's it going to be?" Ludo looked from Jackie, her face stricken with utter fear, to Star Butterfly, determined as ever.

The princess did not waver. "You're an evil little monster," she told him.

Ludo hooted like that was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. "Don't talk about yourself that way, Princess." He nodded toward Jackie's captor. "Do it."

"JACKIE NO!" Marco lunged, just as he heard Star scream his name. Two pairs of arms, the boar and Buff Frog, grabbed each half of his limbs and forced him to the ground.

Jackie Lynn Thomas joined him moments later. "M-Marco..." she groaned, peering at him through one eye, the other forced shut and pressed to the concrete. The monster had one massive foot to her back, pinning her.

Marco had no time to so much as meet her gaze before it was covered by Three-Eyed Potato Baby's tree trunk of a forearm. His hand clasped underneath her chin. Without so much as a grunt, he yanked upwards.

Marco was covered in Jackie in a matter of seconds.

Amidst his screams, he heard Ludo say, "And now we've got Karate Boy."

* * *

**When Three-Eyed Potato Baby killed Jackie, think the Mountain killing the Sparrow from Game of Thrones.**

**This and last chapter were difficult to write - really, this kind of gratuitous horror doesn't belong in SvtFoE, and even though that was kinda the point of the sequence (as you'll soon see), it still gave me pause and wonder if I should post or not. Glad to see you guys didn't absolutely hate it.**

**On the plus side, I had a lot of fun writing badass Star and sadistic Ludo. I've never actually written him before, and being able to do so in an obvious exaggeration was a treat.**

**I'll have the next chapter, and the end to this jarring change to horror, sometime this weekend.**

**In the meantime, let me know if/what/how you enjoyed.**


	12. And Unexpected Things (pt 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star intervenes

_...Bmp-BMP..._

_"M-wcw!"_

_Bmp-BMP..._

Marco willed himself to do something, but found that he couldn't.

_Bmp... "-a-co!" ...BMP..._

He couldn't feel much of anything - even if he still had the ability to breathe, to feel, speak.

_"M-rc-!" Bmp-BMP..._

Was he already dead, too?

_"SOMEBODY SHUT THE BOY UP!"_

_...Bmp-BMP..._

Something cracked him in the jaw, but Marco didn't feel it. The scratchy-feeling in his throat died into a dull ache, though.

_"-awko -m so swrwy!"_

His eyes still pointed at Jackie, but he wasn't _looking_ at her, or much of anything really.

_"MZRCW!"_

He wasn't sure what he was seeing, and what he was hearing was a garbled mess that sounded like Star's voice.

_"Don't hurt him, Ludo! PLEASE!"_

She was hysterical.

Marco instinctively focused on her, where wet-warmth coated his face, a coppery smell stung his nose, and Star was screaming mercy in his name.

"And now we've got Karate Boy," Ludo announced, out of sight. Then he stepped into view, hands folded behind his back and looking at Star. "You have the power to save him, Star Butterfly, lest he suffers a fate worse than that of his little girlfriend." Ludo hummed for a moment. He was suddenly snickering. "Three-Eyed Potato Baby's been pestering me for a new chew toy as of late!" he cackled. "I suppose he deserves a reward for all he's done today, wouldn't you agree?"

 _"Shut your mouth!"_ bellowed Star. Ludo squeezed himself as he tittered, clearly getting the warm fuzzies from all this terror and tragedy.

Marco blinked.

He _felt_ like he should be terrified beyond measure right now, that his survival instinct should kick in and he himself start kicking whoever was currently pinning him. But Marco heard Ludo's words, he knew what they meant.

And that was all. There was nothing else he could really _do_.

His friends were all hurt, or worse. The Grim Reaper had its scythe pressed to his throat right now. Star was about to be alone, for she would never give her wand to Ludo. Only he himself was to blame for that, if he just didn't snap and try to save Jackie...

_Oh, Jackie... I'm so, so sorry..._

Jackie... she was...

Marco blinked, for the first time actually noticing Ludo before him, alive as ever, himself empty as before. Looking at Star, he too felt nothing. His eyes stilled over Jackie's body, her essence beginning to pool beneath his chin, hoodie, and staining his clothes... and he felt nothing.

Because somewhere inside, Marco was aware of this crushing reality; that even his friendship with Star was microscopic in the grand scope of the universe. He saw the cold ferocity in Star's eyes when she denied the brat his victory, even when Jackie's life was threatened, even after all their classmates had been met with similar fates.

No.

Star would never let Ludo win; she wouldn't let their friends' sacrifices be in vain.

And Marco, at the very least, felt at peace with that.

If this was to be his last feeling before... before the end, Marco figured there were probably worse ways to go out. He could go out terrified and screaming.

Marco closed his eyes - it would be a lot less scary if he didn't see it coming.

"Then take it."

Marco popped his eyes open, hearing what sounded a lot like Star.

"...Just please... please don't hurt him."

He beheld Star handing Ludo her wand, trembling, her eyes damp and red. Ludo held himself just as well, except the manic grin he wore told of a different story. His sigh was of immense satisfaction once he felt his clawed, chafed hands gripping the hilt of Star's wand at long last.

"Finally," was all he said, smiling. His finger ran the missing portion of the wand, like a teasing lover.

"...Now let Marco go." Star used a tone familiar as the command she just gave.

Ludo's eyes glowered. "In a minute."

 _"NOW!"_ Star advanced a step.

She only got as far before her wand was pointed at her. "I said... _in a minute._ " Star had no choice but to oblige, but she sent him a murderous glare Marco never thought he would see on his best friend's face.

 _Best friend..._ The phrase echoed hollowly in Marco's own ears, and some semblance of feeling returned, a stirring within.

It felt _wrong_ though, yet he didn't know why.

"It's sad, isn't it?" Ludo was speaking again. The boy pinned to the ground beside him had no other choice except to listen, but he didn't realize it was he being spoken to until Ludo turned in his direction.

He spoke while still tracing the wand's cleaved half, never tearing his eyes away. "When you think you know someone you've grown so fond of, that you thought you knew, until you realize she's just as awful as you always feared... How long are you willing to wait, Karate Boy? Until something like this happens? Or worse?"

"Ludo, what are you telling him?" Star held a fist over her heart, and though Marco saw the fierceness in her gaze, he'd known her enough (or, as Ludo put it, _thought_ he did) to sense the hurt that lied beyond, the fear that gripped her.

But Marco knew, deep inside, the cause of it all, and it wasn't because she just relinquished the most powerful artifact in the universe to a bloodthirsty brat half her height.

Marco knew what she was afraid of, and he didn't know what, but he felt a burning in his throat, a burn that made him want to scream, to howl at this awful girl until his lungs burned themselves.

But he didn't want to interrupt Ludo. Especially when he said to her, "Just that there is another path for him which doesn't include _you_."

That sounded appealing. Why, though, was a mystery to Marco.

But it definitely felt right.

He watched Ludo finally wrench his gaze away from the wand to look him in the eye. His crooked sneer was present as ever, but Marco sensed it given a weight and intention in its expression so unlike the monster they've fought time and again. Ludo held this air about him as he reached behind his back, and presented this "path" to Marco Diaz.

It was a key. Blood-red, with a head in the guise of a heart.

And Marco spoke his first words since he saw Jackie die:

"What do I do with it?"

Ludo absorbed his question, and grunted with contentment. "You will know," he said, before holding out the key, "because your heart will cry out when you do. It is your deepest desire, even if you don't realize it yet."

"How do you know my heart's desire?" Marco asked. "I don't even..." The thought went unfinished.

Ludo understood, however; he snickered, and for an instant his voice was quite sinister; clear and strong, not at all like the whiny, throaty noises the bird-like creature made when he usually spoke: "I know a lot about you, Marco."

Ludo's typical demeanor returned as he concluded, gesturing with the key, "Only _you_ have the power to make this happen! Your fate is in your hands."

That sounded like a good thing, and it was the first to feel truly right.

"Marco, please don't leave me..." This whole time, seeing this, Star was hugging herself, weeping, and Marco didn't even know. Her pleas went unrequited as he reached for the key.

His fingers stopped just short of touching it, when a familiar cry shuddered over Echo Creek High:

_"DAGGER CRYSTAL HEART ATTACK!"_

Everybody froze.

There was a beat before the world filled with a downpour of whistling red arrows.

With wide, stricken eyes, Marco watched the monsters suddenly erupt into movement, crying out in unholy roars as the storm fell upon them. Some tried protecting their heads, only for a heart-shaped dagger to pierce their palms and pin them to their skulls. Several bumped into one another and tumbled, falling in a tangle of limbs, whines, and piercings.

Before him, Ludo dance about, batting blindly with his newly acquired wand and screaming incomprehensibly over the sharp twang of dagger-hearts on concrete. Marco was given a start when Three-Eyed Potato Baby had suddenly thrown himself over his master. He grunted every time his hide was penetrated, until seconds passed and the attack was over as quick as it began.

Three-Eyed Potato Baby was more pin-cushion than monster, sporting at least two dozen daggers before his entire form collapsed into a cloud of thick shadowy smoke. The master he left behind was enveloped, but his limbs could be seen flailing about, and the brat was screeching for his minions to protect him.

Marco would have taken the opportunity to retreat, had the thought occurred to him.

He noticed relief fill Ludo's face when, as the shadows started to dissipate, his hand was finally grasped. "Oh! Finally," he breathed, "took you dipsticks long..."

His eyes trailed up the arm.

Met her fierce, frigid gaze.

And the wand clutched in her hand.

"...enough." Ludo's crooked beak started trembling. At first, Marco assumed tears - he would too if in his position - until Ludo bellowed savagely, _"YOU AGAIN?!"_

A cry of pain tore from his throat when Star Butterfly merely squeezed his hand.

"You should have stayed in the void, Ludo. _RAINBOW FIST PUNCH!"_ Small boulders and dust burst from the ground upon impact. Ludo's hand, twisted and bruised, clawed still at the heavens, frozen with the occasional twitch and a whimper.

Star grasped it once more. "That would have hurt a lot less." She swung the little monster's body up over her head, debris flecking off him as Ludo arced through the air, and Star slammed him so hard he cracked the concrete beneath him.

Ludo whimpered pathetically, unable to writhe in his broken body. "I'm not fighting!" he moaned, shakily. "You never hurt me if I'm not fighting!"

Star had yet to let go of his hand. "Yeah, well, you lost that privilege." She tossed him up into the air, screaming, and before he came back down she twirled her wand in one hand, _"Glowworm Blast!"_

The force of the spell-cast sent Ludo flying into another lecture building. Marco had half a second to even glimpse at the glowing critter stuck to his chest before he was out of sight. There was a beat before emerald-green fire burst from the hole in the wall and the whole thing was vaporized, and he felt a shivering sensation beneath his palms and knees.

His eyes snapped back to Star, bleary from shock - a disproportionate word to describe what he was currently feeling, but the first to come to mind.

She had a wand, the same that Ludo clutched so desperately before he was blown out of existence. Yet this wasn't the strangest thing Marco noticed about her, but rather the way she dressed.

Star always had a unique sense of fashion, but Marco had never seen her leave the house with just her nightie and socks on. Although she was without her sleeping mask, and her hair combed and groomed in typical thick, flowing sheets. So she hasn't just woken up, although Marco could tell that with just a glance to her eyes.

The defeat that clouded them before, it was as if it never existed within her at all. They were smoldering, like frostbite they were so sharp and blue - it was a focus Marco had never seen from his best friend before, except for one other time, when she rescue him from Toffee's clutches.

They were the eyes of Mewni's heir, and when they met with his own, burned with a newfound fury. Marco wished he had the voice to speak, but she broke away before he could.

" _Wooow_ , wow-wow, you put a- _lot_ of work into this one!" she remarked, glancing from the demolished campus, to Jackie's body, and to the monsters picking themselves up, none of whom seemed to care of the princess's presence. Her voice was cheery and mischievous as earlier today, and it definitely sent Marco reeling.

Was this an alternate Star Butterfly? Or someone else entirely?

Star tapped her wand against her cheek, commentating as one would on a new house. "Horror and bloodshed? You're _really_ getting desperate now. I mean, _Ah geddit!_ Scarier the better and all that; heck, I know your game and _still_ this is pretty creepy to me. Some weirdy-weird details, though. I don't get a lot of them. Like this guy!"

She hopped in front of the Giraffe-man's torso, who was busy yanking dagger-hearts out of his burly figure. They left behind inky-black scars.

"What the heck happened to this guy's head?!" Star gestured to his stump of a neck. "How did he lose it? 'Cause I didn't do it! And _you_!"

The largest monster, crocodilian Man-Arm, pointed to himself with his remaining, humanlike appendage. "Me?" he uttered dumbly in an unholy tongue.

"Yeah, you!" Star waggled her wand at him. "What happened to your other arm? Didja lose it after being _blown_ into _smithereens_ , I wonder? _Hmmm~?_ " She leaned in, smiling knowingly.

Marco couldn't help but wonder what she knew, though.

Man-Arm's eyes were featureless as the rest, but an observant audience would notice them sliding from to the left, then right. "Uh..."

Star moved on before he could finish. She struck her thinking pose before Big Chicken, where she chewed on her index finger while inspecting the charred beast like he were an actual piece of meat. "I mean, I _guess_ I get this one." She didn't sound so sure, however. "Fried chicken, and all that. A good joke! But there's still this," she gestured vaguely with her wand, "this 'problem area' right here."

"Uh, wha' 'ro'lem?"

Star did a double-take at jawless Bearicorn. She blinked, adjusting to the sight. "Oh!" she said cheerfully. "The whole 'still having a body to even reanimate' problem. No bigs!" Star shook her head, chuckling. "Silly, silly skull-demon, I swear."

"Yeah." Bearicorn laughed, his tongue flapping obscenely as he did; Star giggled at it.

All the while Marco laid on the pavement, wondering what the heck was going on. Confusion along with the fear of breaking this awkward tranquility kept his belly pressed against the pavement.

Star paced back and forth before the group of monsters, all of whom were now eyeing her, looking about as lost as Marco felt.

Her eyes fixed on each of their injuries, and she was murmuring to herself until she asked aloud, "How'd you guys get here, anyway?" Her hands became a blur in front of her. "No-no, wait, no, let me guess! Hmm... did Ludo make a deal with Tom again? _OR_ did he just suddenly gain the ability to raise the dead? 'Cuz _last time_ I was here, I definitely thought it was the second one, but it turned out Ludo actually made some vague kinda deal with Tom or whatever?" Star gazed skyward for a spell, knocking her head around but promptly coming up with a turn of the shoulders. "Not that I really care, but I would at least hope your master or whatever was a little more creative on repeat scenarios."

A dozen eyes blinked vacantly.

"So!" Star clasped her hands behind her back, looking to the audience expectantly. "Which is it, boys?" she asked with a toothy grin.

"The second one!" legless Two-Head pointed upwards.

Star nodded, her smile that of a sweet little princess. "And of course, _Marco_ here didn't think any of that was a little suspicious, did he?"

Her eyes rolled to a stop over him. Marco waited a beat before realizing she wasn't being rhetorical. Grimacing, he slowly pushed himself up into a kneeling position, ignoring the cloying, coppery stickiness on his face. _Is that even real?_ he couldn't help but wonder. Or perhaps he's truly lost it.

"S-Star?" Voice low, tone uncertain, Marco asked, "What is going on?"

In typical Star fashion, she just ended up confusing him further. "Don'cha get it, Marco? None of this makes any sense! It's impossible for _any_ of these guys to be here because the Whispering Spell vaporized them all!"

 _Is she saying this isn't real? None of this was?_ Ms. Skullnick was still fresh in his mind, and Jackie too. He _saw_ them die! Then again, he did see a couple monsters just whisk away into shadow like they were never there at all. And now there was another Star with her own wand? So much raced through Marco's head it started to hurt.

He wrenched his gaze away, burying his face in darkness where, at the very least, things were consistent and in his control. Silence permeated for several seconds, and Marco wearily dragged his fingers down enough to peak at his best friend between two of them.

Star's attention never left him, but when he uncovered his gaze, her cheer had receded into something more sympathetic. With just a look, Marco sensed something meaningful radiating from the princess's gaze, and although still hopelessly confused, he knew it to be genuine.

And Marco knew, no matter what, that he could trust Star.

He needed only to nod to convey this. Star Butterfly's compassion shone in her eyes; she bowed her head towards him.

The nightie-clad princess held this expression as she dipped her wand down, brought it up over her head, did a pirouette, and called out in a strong, clear voice, _"WARNICORN STAMPEDE!"_

Thunderous hoofstomps trampled the cries and howls of the monsters; a few tried to run, but the stampede of burly, grey equines consumed them all. It was even quicker than the heart-attack, and when the warnicorns dissipated into nothingness, before reaching the other end of campus, they left behind just dust and some wisps of black smoke.

But nothing more.

"Wha...?" March breathed, fixed on the space where the monsters were with eyes agape. He only broke away when a pair of socked feet came into view, and his eyes dragged up their owner to meet her eyes.

She was smiling sadly.

"Star?" He moved one hand up, quietly asking to be helped up.

It was grasped by one soft and warm, while at the same time firm and deceptively strong. Except Marco didn't feel himself hoisted up, rather Star lowered herself in front of him, keeping one hand entwined with his and the other resting softly against his shoulder.

She spoke in a tone weary, but bearing some semblance of positivity - not necessary happy, but a word Marco couldn't think of to replace it. "You're a mess," she giggled lightly. "Here." With a wordless wave of the wand, Marco felt his body awash in damp light. It left him feeling dry, and free of any... any...

" _Jackie_..." A sharp gasp tore through the quiet afterglow of all this horror. Marco buried his face with both hands, not wishing anybody, much less Star, from bearing witness to his confused, ugly cries.

They lessened in intensity once a pair of arms encircled him. "I'm sorry, Marco." Star adjusted herself so her face rested in the crook of his neck. "I'm sorry that I couldn't get here sooner."

Marco snuffled, a stomach-turning sound he was embarrassed of, but did not care in that instant. "I don't understand what's..." He couldn't finish.

Star, though, seemed to actually predict what he was going to say. "This isn't real," she cooed, oh so soothingly. "None of it's real, Marco. You're just having an awful, _horrible_ nightmare. Jackie's okay. I still have my wand, and I promise you, _no one_ is gonna get hurt while I have it."

Marco heard this, and nodded against her shoulder. He trusted Star, with his life he trusted her.

But he couldn't stop shaking. God, he _couldn't_. "It felt so real," he pushed himself away, looked into her eyes; he could see she shared similar fears, even as he voiced them aloud, "What if the real deal happens, Star? What happens then?"

Star looked off at a place somewhere over his shoulder, considering her response. He could already feel what she was about to say, just from the eye contact they shared. "If we're in a situation like that? Then, well," she shrugged, beaming soft as sunlight, "we do what we always do, Marco."

"I trust in you," Marco recited, a weak smile finding its way across his face.

" _Aaand_...?" Star released his hand, and though he frowned at the loss of contact he felt her squeeze his other shoulder in exchange, now with a hand on both.

"You have my back," she said with finality, "and I have your's. No matter what."

She bobbed him around lightly, and Marco couldn't help a laugh that bubbled up from his chest; there was nothing more to be said - Marco knew Star wasn't one for big speeches, but she didn't need to make any.

He just understood her.

She was still bobbing him around, clearly trying to get another laugh out of him. Marco offered one. "Okay, okay." Gently, he removed her hands from his shoulders. Both teens smiled to one another, one mightier than the other, but the feelings between them were equal in strength.

 _We're invincible,_ they said. _We have each other's back, that's all that matters._

_._

_._

_._

_"... **M** a **r** c **o**..."_

A garbled voice, deep and black as the darkest sea, called out his name.

He felt Star grip the sleeve of his hoodie with both hands at the sound of it, and Marco mimicked her with the hem of her nightie. In sync, both their heads whipped around to their left, where standing several feet away was Star Butterfly. Her green dress was in tatters, hair matted, herself battered and beaten. She was the one Marco had been fighting alongside - he very nearly forgotten about her, except that didn't seem strange to him.

His skin crawled at the sight of her, though.

Gone were the innocent, bright blue that were Star's eyes. Now twin black pits roiled, liquid like tar. And when she spoke, it was no longer in the honey-sweet voice of the mewman princess.

_"... **Y** o **u** c **a** n **n** o **t** r **u** n **a** w **a** y **f** r **o** m **y** o **u** r **s** e **l** f, **M** a **r** c **o**..."_

The Star beside him shot up to her feet, fists shaking at her sides. "Yeah!? Why don't you finally come here and show me what you're made of, demon?!" She threateningly beat her wand against her breast, a victorious smirk on her face.

The image of Star flickered and shuddered.

_"... **W** e **w** i **l** l **m** e **e** t **a** g **a** i **n**..."_

And she was gone. A cloud of shadows left in her wake.

Marco looked back at the real Star, prepared to remark and joke about the creepy vibes that creature gave off. But then he noticed her still standing, staring holes into the empty space where her duplicate once stood. Their brief exchange replayed itself in Marco's head, and he asked, "Who was that?"

"...I have no idea." Star plopped back down beside him, sitting crisscross and stretching her nightie over her knees. She drew circles into the concrete with her wand. "This isn't the first time we've met, the three of us."

She met his confused gaze.

"You mean...?" He pointed where "Star" once stood.

The princess before him nodded.

Marco drank this in, then began gesturing with his hands. "We've... _you've_ been in here before? In..." He waved at the world around him.

"Your dreams, yeah." Star's previous meek smile faltered. "You're not gonna remember this one either. But that's okay, it's for the best."

A claw of fear gripped Marco by the heart - he grimaced in discomfort, and he realized what that meant, and what the monster-Star implied. "S-Star, what if this happens again, or worse? What happens if you're not here to save me? I'm, I'm so _useless_ here on my own!"

Star grabbed his hand and held it in both of her's. " _Don't_ , Marco, don't say that." She shook his hand with every word. "Whoever this creep is, I'm not gonna let one night pass while you're his victim. I won't rest until you're _safe_. Marco!"

He'd wrenched his gaze away from her - he couldn't help but feel humiliated, having Star fight his battles for him because he was so helpless inside his own head.

But Star, with a sharp snap of his name, swiftly rose her fingers to caress his face. He leaned into her touch a little too happily, and although red ravaged his cheeks, Star seemed to ignore this as she slowly, affectionately urged him to face her.

Her eyes were no less caring than they always were.

"He doesn't know how strong you are," she told him. "Ya hear me, Marco? And together, you and me? We can _beat him_."

The firmness in her voice, the steeliness in her eyes... and all for _him_.

_God, she is such a great friend._

Marco breathed a chuckle, laying his hand over Star's, keeping it against his face. Her touch was like the brightest sun. "Sounds like you've been rehearsing this speech in your head," he quietly remarked.

Star replied in kind, "About my seventh time giving it, actually. It always gets you pumped up, I have to!"

That boggled Marco's mind. "Wow, seven?" he asked, bug-eyed. Star nodded, and the two pulled away from each other, smiling. "That's... something." Marco had the grace to blush.

Something else came to mind, though - something that had yet to leave it fully, and hearing this Star has been a frequent visitor in his dreams, made him wonder all the more.

"Hey," he asked, "in the other times, was I given a key?"

Star tilted her head. "Key? What key?"

In that instant, white light filled the sky, and both teens were draped in it. They turned their eyes skyward, where a glowing tear had appeared. "What's happening!?" Marco cried.

"You're waking up!" Star called to him, smiling. "Don't worry, Little Marco! We'll talk about this next time! Sweet dreams and junk!"

* * *

**We return to Star's POV next chapter, where we learn more about Marco's dreams from her eyes, and the setup for her and Marco's following day. It will be a surprise to you, I'm sure.**

**I have to say this about these past couple of chapters: practically every line is important.**

**Even though I'd said it in a review, I wanted to give kudos to Zehntacles for inspiring the skeleton of this dream sequence.**

**In his own fic, and the first Star vs one I've read, called ' _Personal Touches'_ (which I highly recommend), Marco has a similar nightmare in which Ludo's monsters are attacking the school for Star's wand, and they've hurt many students and even executed Janna in front of Star. There is way more to it then that, but that is the part that served as inspiration for Marco's dream in this story.**

**Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed. Tell me what you think if you so choose, and all that good stuff.**


	13. Trusting You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A half-asleep Marco reflects on the weeks following his argument with Star

Marco Ubaldo Diaz loved his bed, although he did not always have one. Or rather, one that he loved as much as his current.

It wasn't until he reached the fateful "big boy" age of seven, that awkward age when a kid was _almost_ in the double digits but not enough to get adults to take him seriously (although Marco aimed to prove how much of a bad boy he was by taking karate!), when everything in his life changed for the better.

By the time he reached that wondrous year, his parents had saved enough money to move out of their cozy two-story apartment in downtown Echo Creek and into a quiet suburb away from the bustle of the city.

And 123, Mayberry Lane became the Diaz household forever after.

It was also this magical year in which his parents joined USH - to give Marco the sibling he never had, so that he could interact with kids his age and, hopefully, make their little man some friends. A little extra money on the side helped as well, though it always went to supporting the extra mouth they let into their family.

It worked out nicely so far. He'd made some unforgettable memories over the years with their foreign exchange students - Yoko, Arin, Gustav, Rupert, Star...

Many have fallen out of contact though; distance erected a wall that was, more often than not, insurmountable.

But that wasn't the only blessing Marco received upon graduating to a real house. She was his beacon in the night, his source of comfort when none else could. She was his real bed, gifted to him along with a memory-foam mattress that sit on top of his old box-spring.

After spending as many years with it as he had without it, he'd grown accustomed to the sensation that his bed was molded for his own body, to the point where sleeping in anything else just felt unnatural. Marco couldn't even get a good night's sleep in a hotel room, and often heard from his mother that he grumbles in his sleep about "these beds and their lumpiness," though he was sure she said that to tease him.

His comforter was probably old as he was, affectionately named his "woobie," with a feel and odor distinctive to its owner. Akin to a mother's hug, warm and encompassing, only a man and his own blankie could ever appreciate the bond they shared, for there was nothing else like it in the world.

In short, Marco Diaz loved his bed. It was like getting Eskimo-kisses from an army of angels, and he _really_ didn't want to leave it.

_"When you see my face, it gives you Hell! Gives yooou Hell! When you walk my way-"_

Nope.

He wasn't leaving it.

"Shaddup," Marco grumbled, though his pillow muffled it. Without moving away he silenced his phone's song, then tossed it aside, aiming for the nightstand. And it landed!

Unfortunately, it just didn't stop - Marco heard the distinctive, wince-worthy clatter of a hundred-dollar piece of plastic smooching the wooden floor.

"Of _course_." He cared enough to reflect on the cruel joke that was his life, but it would take something more to get Marco to leave his heavenly cocoon.

Something like a certain alien princess.

_"Marco!"_

The aforementioned boy had about half a second after hearing that sharp lashing of his name before a soft pattering came rushing toward his bedside, something press down on him for the briefest of moments, and an additional but not wholly-unwelcome presence audibly thumped its way onto the other side of his bed, nestled in the narrow space between it and the wall.

"You dropped your phone!" a voice playfully scolded him.

 _I did?_ Marco smacked his lips; he could have sworn he threw it at the wall or something.

Now curious, Marco dragged his face across the pillow. Vision bleary his eyes blinked, assaulted by daylight beaming right in the direction he was looking at. Squinting through it, he found a nightie-clad princess currently elbow-deep in the crevice beside his nightstand.

He was grinning stupidly without even realizing it, and he felt the unmistakable, all-too-familiar bubbly sensation that was giddiness rise in his chest. Only then did it occur to Marco that this was Star Butterfly, and the rest of his mind at last finished processing the waking world.

"...Did you just vault over me?"

"Yep! Ooh, come on you little-!"

Star grunted, pushing herself a little bit deeper. A piece of chewing gum poked out the corner of her mouth. _No, wait, that's her tongue,_ Marco realized. He knuckled the sleep from his eyes.

All while Star held uncharacteristic focus while humming a peppy little melody - she was _way_ more of a morning person than Marco. A bit of shifting and some seconds later, her concentration morphed to surprise and settled onto glee in the blink of an eye. _"Yus!"_ Star shot up a dust-coated hand, out of Marco's line of sight (though he could easily look up if he had the will to do so).

But Star, as always, was more than happy to help. "I saved your phone!" She gave her friend about two inches of personal space to see it.

Marco blinked a few times before his vision adjusted - his phone had obtained a coating of dust, and a gross, long hair was draped around it; but the screen was whole, at the very least. "So you have." Ebbing sleepiness rendered it a tired grumble.

With the grace of a drunk man, Marco took his phone and brought it under the covers with him, while his other hand palmed the sleep out of his eye like it was drilling for gold. From the corner of his eye was his best friend, elbows propped at his bedside with her face cupped in both hands.

Marco did a double-take before turning to her fully.

Star was... she was looking at him. Not _at_ _him_ , but as though he were transparent and something far more interesting was behind him. With Star living under the same roof he could very well be, but Marco had a feeling this was not the case.

She wasn't even smiling, nor was she frowning - just neutral, a thin line to display whatever was going on in that brain of hers.

Marco, although used to Star's quirky behavior, and on top of being awake for less than thirty seconds, somehow managed to find that unsettling. Just a little, though.

"You okay?" he lightly inquired.

Star blinked, and suddenly Marco felt the weight of her peppy royal-blue stare on him instead of just... _ghosting_ through him. "Yeah!" she chirped. "I'm more concerned about your poor little phone, though! Is it okay? Does it have a boo-boo?"

Even if it did, Marco didn't want Star kissing it to "make it feel better." He brought it out and pressed a thumb to the screen - 6:31 A.M., with a unicorn galloping through space underneath. "Gosh, it's still a phone!" he said with mock surprise. "I'm impressed with you, Star. Normally you'd resort to the wand if something needed effort."

Marco hid his smile in preparation for a punch to the shoulder.

He was not ready for the princess's face to suddenly go stark-white, and her back stiffen as though she'd been whipped.

"N-NO!?" she snapped sharply. "I-I don't bring my wand to your room!" Star winced, and blurted out, "I mean, why would I? I'm just saying 'good morning,' see? Good morning! I can do that without a wand, Marco _Diaz_." She finished with a leer that almost looked intimidating, had Star not looked, well, like _Star_.

And Marco's eyes batted seven times trying to process all of that. _Somebody's prickly._ But he wasn't a fool - he may have just woken up, but even now Marco could tell Star was hiding something. Why, though, was a mystery awake-Marco would ask about later. _Maybe_.

"Then I guess that's someone else's magical wand over there," he gestured to the rest of his room. In truth he did not actually know if it was there, but Marco needed to only hear Star's yip of surprise, then the regrettable sigh that followed, before allowing a smirk of his own to surface.

"I name you a liar, Star Butterfly."

The princess gasped. "Rumors and slanders! The nerve of this Earth boy," she laid her head down, one eye peeking out over the mountain of blanket that Marco could still see. The two maintained contact, smiling, for several beats before the princess laid two strong pats upon his blanketed shin. "Come on, geddup!" He jostled as Star leapt like a dolphin onto his bed. "Up and at em!"

Marco knew he had about four seconds before Star decided to start jumping and force him up. Relishing his cocoon for a final three seconds, he turned and pushed himself into a sitting position, knuckling the sleep from his eyes with a great yawn rising up from his core.

Marco had the decency to cover his mouth and spare his friend a blast of Diaz-morning breath. "Whaddup Shtar?" He smacked his lips twice, cringing internally at the sour taste. "Mhm," he moaned, stretching, "hadda good sleep?"

The lack of a prompt reply drew concern - there wasn't even a chipper "Not much!" from the princess, which she usually did when there totally was something "up."

"Star?" He looked over.

Star, thrown across the foot of his bed, was currently staring straight up into the ceiling while lazily kicking her feet about. Marco frowned - that neutral line had taken the place of the grin she greeted him with every morning. She only ever got like that when something was on her mind.

He cleared his throat. "Good morning, Star," Marco repeated with a much clearer voice.

She dropped her face over to the left, meeting his gaze with that grin suddenly plastered on. "Good _Friday_ , Marcooo!" she sang. "No school today! Isn't that _fuuun_? How'd you sleep? 'Cause I slept, totally _ossum_!" She pumped her fists in a lively display of morning cheer that Marco, on any other day, would be envious of.

But it was too little too late, as his second favorite song went, but he attributed the weird shift in expression to yet another one of Star's odd quirks she had adopted these last few weeks.

Marco reached for the ceiling, stretching, and replied through throes of pleasure, "No different than usual."

"Oh, no! You wet the bed _again_!?"

Marco stiffened, mid-stretch.

Then sputtered out a laugh.

Star followed suit, her's more pitched and melodious than his snort of disbelief. "Where'd _that_ come from?" he asked the giggling princess, for she had never made such a crude joke before.

Star turned her hands, palms-up. "Dunno! I just heard you say that and the little-Stars in my head started fuh- _reaking_ out, like 'Oh gosh, Marco said he's slept like usual, with nothing bothering him at all! Quick, make a joke!' And then I thought of a funny joke to make."

Every one of the princess's pearly whites were on display.

Their recipient blinked, trying to take all of that in.

It was way too early in the morning for this.

"Right." He scratched an itch on his cheek. "I guess I did set myself up for that one."

A sharp gasp. "Wait, what?" Then Star was perched above him, several inches from his face. Marco smelled her powdery-sweet aroma. "What, Marco? You set yourself up for what?"

He quirked a brow. "...The joke. I set myself up for the _joke_ , Star."

"Oh! R-Right! Right, right. _Yeah_ , I was just... _testing_ you! On your Earth-knowledge!"

If Marco didn't know any better, he would have thought the princess was the one having sleep troubles. Now up close, her eyes did look quite sunken and grey.

" _Yeah...?_ " he slowly replied. "You okay, Star?"

"I..." The princess looked away with a bit lip and twiddling thumbs. Seconds later she returned, expression guilty, and asked in a single breath, "Didja have any good dreams last night?"

Marco opened his mouth.

"I know, I know, you hate that I ask every morning, but I just want to make sure!" Star squeezed her arms around herself, pouting in a way that made her hearts bend backwards. "Like ex-cuse _me_ for being a concerned friend," she said, all sass.

Marco frowned; she was _really_ antsy about this. With an expression of calm, he opened his mouth-

And suddenly Star was bug-eyed. "You know I do this because I care, don't you Marco? You can't blame me for being concerned!" she was quick to point out.

Marco opened his mouth, but held it for a beat in case his friend had anything more to say.

When it was clear she didn't, he was mindful to speak with sincerity as he told her, "It's okay, Star. I don't mind." And he really didn't, he wouldn't lie to Star about that and she knew it.

This did not, however, mitigate the agitation that had crept its way into his otherwise chipper mood. For Marco knew Star wasn't being completely honest with him.

So he proposed with a knowing smile, "How about _you_ tell _me_ how I slept?"

Another one of Star's habits seemed to be popping up out of nowhere to greet him every morning.

That's what she told him, at least.

While there were definitely worse things to wake up to than the sight of his best friend, it was hard to enjoy it fully when Star was so spectacularly _awful_ at lying.

For a couple weeks now he suspected Star's frequent "morning greetings" was a front so she could continue checking up on him, likely with the intent to rouse him from any nightmares that he might be having. But that hasn't happened in forever, not since he met Dr. Majesty and they seemed to just stop altogether. Being greeted by the All-American Rejects every morning was a more than welcome change from his best friend shrieking his name, begging him to wake up.

Even today, Marco shivered at the memory. _I hope I never have to see her like that again._ He knew that to be highly unlikely, but with Star as relentlessly cheerful as she was, and Marco himself cautious to a fault, he could damn well try. Especially after they moved past all that angst and drama.

Yet, even after the long talk he and Star had about being honest from now on, especially concerning the well-being of each other, the princess still was afraid of being open to him. While he didn't appreciate the dishonesty, such a gripe was microscopic when put up against the overwhelming ache in his chest, knowing that his best friend cared about him so much.

Marco felt something, deep inside. Something that awakened whenever these thoughts crossed his conflicted mind. Something that burned like fire, but warmed his entire being, as though graced with the sunlight of summer.

Marco did not dislike the sensation, that pang in the nether-regions of his heart. It was a good ache, like an assurance that further validated the strength of his friendship with Star.

 _She cares about you!_ it said. _So don't muck it up, ya Earth Turd!_

But no weird feelings in his chest would stop Marco from feeling at least a little guilty - Star was sacrificing sleep on his behalf. He would have asked her about it, had their last argument, so vicious and loud and out-of-control, not been so fresh in his mind.

In every instance the idea of confrontation wormed its way in, Marco would tell himself, _If Star wants to keep being a weird little worrywart, then that's her business._

This morning was no different. _That reminds me..._

"...Star? Did you hear me?"

Marco returned his focus to his best friend, who'd gone back to staring holes in his ceiling with that blank "I'm thinking" look.

A little forcefully, he repeated, "Star."

With a flinch, the princess was back on planet Earth. "Sorry, sorry, sorry." Star tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, then closed her eyes. When she finally answered she rocked her head about, enunciating every word, "Ya slept like a baby."

Her eyes fluttered open, and with Star-like innocence she blinked up at him, asking in a little voice, "Didja have any sweet dreams, Marco?"

She was completely shameless about her little fib; didn't even bother to try hiding it.

Yet Marco found himself apathetic; truly, he did not care, and he was too tired to care anyway.

It _really_ didn't matter.

He grimaced trying to answer her question, and scratched a finger behind his ear like that would be of any help. "I guess so," he replied lamely. Nothing came to mind, and he couldn't make up a dream scenario to save his life. "I only remember this one where I faced off against Jeremy in a tournament. Then we started reenacting _Karate Kid_ practically word-for-word. Sensei was Miyagi and, well... that's pretty much it." Star didn't need to know that she was Ali Mills in that dream, blue headband and all.

Marco hiked his woobie closer to his chin, but found himself out of blanket to cover the burning sensation in his face. _Stupid dreams,_ he cursed it dismay. _Star's my friend, not to mention, a_ princess! _Her parents would kill me if they found out I dreamed about their daughter like that! Oh, why does my stupid teenage brain have to treat her like... like..._

He couldn't think of a word - none seemed to come to mind. Rather, Marco felt the beginnings of embarrassment and frustration zeroed in on their source. "Stupid _Karate Kid,_ " he unknowingly muttered aloud.

 _"That was a really good movie though,"_ Star whisper-yelled.

Marco smiled, embracing the distraction from his perverted dreams instantaneously.

"Yeah, it was. I'm glad you liked it." Last night, Star was adamant on seeing that movie once she heard its title, but Marco didn't want to spend their Friendship Thursday with the cheesy 80s flick. He realized, however, that this was how they spent every Friendship Thursday anyway.

He was prepared to relent anyway, had the princess not overreacted at once and begged they watch "the Marco movie," giving him the biggest, bluest puppy-dog eyes she could muster.

So they snuggied it up with some homemade nachos and watched _Karate Kid_. Marco was sure Star would find a movie about training and patience boring, but she ended up pleasantly surprising him by adoring it. Of course Star spent most of its runtime shooting off question after question, particularly about how similar his own training was to Daniel Larusso's. After her magic worked him with that "Marco movie/puppy-dog eye combo," he didn't feel so bad ripping into the film's unrealistic display of karate. Star seemed to have found his insight interesting though, even going as far as calling him a better karate master than Miyagi, though he had to gently decline the title.

That was going a _little_ too far.

 _"No, I mean it! I've seen you beat up monsters, like,_ three times _his size! And you never break a sweat! How is he better than you after all that?"_

 _"Aside from, like, every other way?"_ his disposition was a joking one, but Star just seemed, well, not _unhappy_ with his response but she was quiet after that, strangely so. _Did I say something wrong?_ he wondered. _I must've. Way to 'Star' it up, Diaz._

She didn't seem to care now, however. Yet even after a night's sleep, this particular exchange replayed itself in his mind as though it just happened. The problem was a mystery - he had sweat buckets while battling monsters, many times in fact. So Star was obviously exaggerating there.

"Ya feel good?" Star asked, stretching across his bed. "You looked so, _so_ comfy before your phone woke up," she murmured between throes. "It looks like you slept great. _I_ could sleep great - this bed is _a-may-zing_."

"I know, right?" Marco smirked at her display. "Don't fall asleep on my bed, though. We got a busy day ahead of us." With his toes he nudged the little bit of Star that laid on top of them. The princess groaned dramatically before rolling away from the discomfort, towards his flat-screen.

Marco shook his head. "And yeah, I slept great last night. Got nothing to complain about here."

And it was the truth. On top of being nightmare-free since his visit with Dr. Majesty, Marco felt like he'd been sleeping better than ever. He didn't realize how severe of an impact it had on his rest until his sleeping had returned to normal, and now he woke up every morning feeling like his old self, before the whole Toffee affair.

"I didn't want to leave my bed this morning." He shifted a little, reveling in his comfortable cocoon. "Still don't, to be honest. I haven't felt this good in _forever_."

Marco took a moment to roll his shoulders, pop his neck, ironing out any stiffness that still lingered. In doing so he felt his cotton button-down, sliding against his person. They were dry as a bone, and this made Marco very happy.

 _No sweats, no night-terrors. We're good._ A celebratory shower was in order.

Marco swung his legs around over the edge. "Well, if you don't mind me, Star, I'm gonna go and-" he snapped his fingers to the pertinent door beside his bed, "-take a shower."

"Okay!" Like an acrobat, Star flipped herself into a sitting position beside him. "You were smellin' a little cheesy, anyway."

Marco flushed. "Oh, really!?" He sank into his shoulders, grumbling all the while, "Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

Star simply leaned closer and took a big whiff. "Mm, provolone!"

 _"Stop smelling me!"_ He shooed her away in a whirl of hand-flailing, yet Star giggled in spite of him.

Marco couldn't help a rueful smile of his own. _Everything's just fine._

He was ready to enter the bathroom, with Star following close behind him, flipping her wand and catching it, when a thought struck and froze him just short of reaching the knob.

"Hey, Star," he turned, and the princess greeted him with that neutral look again, which he ignored this time and asked, "uh, can you help me pick out something nice when I'm done? I... don't really have any nice clothes for these kinds of things."

Star tilted her head when posed with his initial question, but once he explained himself the princess gained a benign little smile."Just wear your hoodie!" she told him, waving her wand a little. "Trust me, once you see my dad's side of the family, you'll understand that no one cares." Her eyes rolled to the ceiling. "Well, no one on _his_ side anyway. But we don't care what mom's side thinks; I was just gonna go in one of my usual outfits anyway!"

Marco chuckled sheepishly. "Alright, if you say so." Still, Marco couldn't help but feel a little nervous about the Butterfly-Johansen Family Picnic.


	14. Lying to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star reflects on the things she's seen, and continues to see, for the sake of friendship.

_They've gotten so much worse._

In one hand, the wand limply grasped; the other, a palm pressed against her breast - a desperate bid to slow her heart's frantic palpitations. It hadn't stopped, not since she and Marco'd simultaneously woken up. It's been going on for so long that Star almost thought her mighty love-sodden ticker broke, it was under so much stress. Coupled with a maelstrom sickly roiling in her guts, and her legs could no longer bear the egregious weight of it all.

Star's back slapped against the bathroom door as soon as a socked foot shut it behind her. The princess dragged herself down its length, negligent to her nightie riding up past her waistline, or her ample mane hitching against it until it tumbled over in a wild mess across her cheeks and shoulders. As soon as her butt hit the ground Star's scrawny legs were pulled into a hug - a substitute for Marco, albeit an emotionally unsatisfying one. Several breathes huffed into her knees as she stared bug-eyed at the floor in front of her; she must have looked like a crazy person, and she was sure Marco had his suspicions now if he didn't before.

But Star didn't care - she didn't care if Marco were to suddenly figure it out as he was taking his shower, barge in right then and there all soaking wet and naked and start hollering up a storm.

She didn't care.

 _They're getting so, so much worse,_ the thought passed through once more. Star couldn't help herself, it was the only thing on her mind. What else could she possibly do or say?

Earth-sky is blue, Mewni-sky is pink.

Rainbows are beautiful.

And Marco's dreams had gotten worse. No, Star decided in that instant, they've gone beyond worse - they were _horrifying_.

That isn't to say they weren't bad before, they were awful from the start - Star vividly remembered that first night. Luckily though, Mewberty-Star had only gotten as far as unbuttoning Marco's skinny jeans before she found herself on the receiving end of a wrathful Strawberry Shockwave.

Star had come to dislike the evenings, and not solely because of Marco's dreams. Nighttime was when the day's excitements were absent, or rather, in Star's mind, the day's distractions. For on nights where he slept sound, and Star had little reason to be out of her room, the princess was left alone with her thoughts.

And her thoughts always turned to Marco's dreams. Often she would catch herself wondering which ones have happened before, across the long, torturous weeks before Marco had a magical princess to rescue him every other night. How many horrors did that poor Earth-boy endure without her? Star didn't want to know, yet another part of her did, but the loudest of all reasoned that she shouldn't care - they were just nightmares: twisted, spooky imagery crafted by a deranged monster intent on hurting her best friend. That was it. They held as much weight as the wind in her hair.

Star would tell herself this on mornings where her negativity became particularly unbearable, and she would drill and drill the absurdity of it all into her head until she felt confident enough to look Marco in the eye again without feeling the urge to hug him. And the day's distractions, or, the _excitements_ would continue make a point as to how foolish she was being: real life was normal, it was innocent, _fun_ even, as if she'd forgotten what that means! Watching television, playing games, squatting in detention with Janna Banana or fangirling with Starfan13, dimension hopping with Marco; these felt _real_.

And yet, so did Marco's _dreams_.

The coppery tang of blood some nights, the musk of a mewman in heat on another; the gravel crunching beneath her feet, the tremors that shook her arms whenever a spell was fired off, the warmth of Marco Diaz every time she hugged him, and his body quake in her embrace and the tears that always soaked her shoulder...

These, too, felt real. Startlingly, achingly real.

At least to Star they did. To her, when the boundary between nightmare and reality was blurred, no, _annihilated with a vengeance_ by the Dream Walker's Incantation, Marco really was in peril; he really was about to have horrible things done to him, and, Mewni forbid, he probably... he already _.._.

 _Nope, no, nope._ Star purged the thought on instinct. _I woke up Marco, like, one, two minutes max after he starts having one. He's never slept through without me there to snap him out of it. There's no way they ever did those things to him._

Tonight was no different, however. And Star detested her own inability to control herself, as much as she hated the thick, dull pain that would surface in the back of her eyes whenever these thoughts came, heralding what was just begging her to be released, and all the aches and grossness that she kept bottled up inside.

 _No_. The word echoed in Star's thoughts with as much authority as the night she'd defeated Toffee. _No,_ silenced all other thoughts, all other pesky emotions that tried forcing their way out.

Star was a princess.

Star couldn't let Marco know. Not yet, at least.

Facts, that's what those were, and they were enough to keep a cap secured on her emotion-bottle.

And nigh-every morning Star would find herself on the brink of plummeting, down, down into a pit of her own mind; the swallowing darkness that were questions suffocating her, and driving her mad; a flood unbidden of obsession that would drive Star like an addict, until she rendered herself disturbed as she was horrified:

How many times, how far it's gotten, why oh why didn't she do this sooner? These questions raced like hamsters on a wheel, neverending, never straying.

It was almost, _almost_ too much for the fourteen-year-old princess to bear, and despite her assurances of "I'm a princess" and "I'm doing this for Marco," she didn't know why she found herself so darn _scared_ of things that weren't even real, things that would never happen, so long as future-Queen Star Butterfly had a say in the matter.

But she crammed them down, squashed that feeling like a bug because she was doing this for Marco and she was a strong princess that just saw some scary dreams. Real life, that's where the true horrors lied. Toffee kidnapping Marco, that was real. Ludo coming back from the dead, and all his monsters, butchering their friend indiscriminately?

The idea was so ridiculous that Star laughed aloud. She could practically simulate the field day her mother would have if she'd heard what was going through her daughter's mind.

 _"You are a queen in training!"_ Moon Butterfly scolded. _"There are more important things you should worry about than ridiculous fantasies that could never happen!"_

And with that, like so many familiar mornings before, Star's head jerked upright. Her face suspended a furrowed brow, lips parted slightly, and coupled with a startled gaze. She blinked, her thoughts reiterating themselves in her mind until, suddenly, her legs slacked in front of her.

 _For Mewni's sake,_ moaned her internal monologue, and then aloud into her hands, "These aren't even _REEEAL-UH!"_

With a huff, Star pushed herself to her feet and strode to her walk-in closet, nightgown falling clumsily down her thighs. "I'm Star Butterfly," the princess grumbled, "a strong-willed, warrior princess, who isn't afraid of silly, try-hard _dream demons._ I'm supposed to be _better_ than this."

No, scratch that - she _knows_ she's better than this!

With a hand to her hip Star opened the door to her walk-in closet, announcing to all the cute outfits that cared to listen, "Alright day, bring it on!"

Her roving eye caught an outfit already presenting itself to her: green-white striped leggings, and the navy-blue dress with rainbow stripes. Her red boots sat underneath.

On normal days Star would smile in content, greeting her classic ensemble like an old friend.

Today she wasted no time in yanking it off the rack with one hand, snatching the boots with the other, and leaving her closet ajar. Her outfit was thrown across the bed.

"I'm fourteen," came from under her breath. Star gripped the hem of her nightie, and with a definitive "Hwah!" she reached for the heavens, flinging the nightwear off her body in a short arc above her head.

Star dropped her arms like they were full of rocks, yet her hands came to tenderly massage her cream-colored shoulders. "I've fought worse than a bad dream, things that were _real._ "

 _"I don't want your wand. Destroy it,"_ a mild-mannered slimeball echoed in her mind.

What followed made her cringe like a bad taste left in her mouth: _" **Y** o **u** c **a** n **n** o **t** r **u** n **a** w **a** y **f** r **o** m **y** o **u** r **s** e **l** f, **M** a **r** c **o**."_

Star grew annoyed at the shiver that ran down her back. "Just a dream." On any other day, such a phrase would be a cheerful observation by Star Butterfly, only now it was uttered like some crude prayer. "It will never be _real."_ Star had her eyes on the outfit before her, although they were looking at something that wasn't even there.

In place of the super cute outfit she'd picked out, Star instead saw herself, tattered in green, bleeding black from the eyes and speaking in unholy tones, like a chain-smoker too close to the microphone.

Star offered a meager little laugh at her own comparison - it was the best she could do to make light of what she saw. Just who was it she was dealing with? Did it matter?

Better yet, why in the name of corn did Star even _care!?_ She's faced far worse than some stupid dream-demon mucking up her bestie's dreams. So what if he conjured the sickest, messed-up fantasies a monster could think of?

 _Just who the heck does this guy think he is?_ Star wondered. _And why would he give Marco a key?_ These questions were pushed aside quick as they came - Star made a rule, not to mix her dream-life with real-life, and decided these were questions for when she could actually do something to answer them.

It was funny to Star, how just a year ago the thought of investigating a such a mystery sounded about as appealing as being queen. Now, however, she was given a reason to care: to save her best friend from the clutches of an evil dream-demon.

Twisted fantasies to toy with Marco every night - that's all they are, nothing more. So what if he made Marco into her forced mate?

Or her personal footstool?

Or turned him into the princess's plaything?

Her maid, even?

They meant _nothing,_ not built from the foundations of reality like true dreams were. Manipulation and conjuration - that was the typical motif of dream demons, and all evidence points to that being the culprit.

One night replayed the fateful events at Ludo's. It was so bafflingly familiar, right down to the exchange between her, Ludo and Buff Frog. The monsters she'd often fought had become grotesques, their proportions deformed like they were reflections peeled from fun house mirrors, yet all were in the exact same place. For a while Star thought she'd stumbled across a real, true nightmare of Marco Diaz, but the niggling bug of curiosity bit hard in the butt, and so with curiosity she played her part - she did the spells, kicked some butt, tried many times to free Marco, but with little success. Star did everything she'd done before, even destroying the wand when Toffee asked her to without a second thought.

Only this time, he spoke with the demon's ghostly tongue, and unlike the real Toffee, he did not release Marco. He laughed and cursed while Star screamed and begged, forgetting that it wasn't real until it all of a sudden ended with the crystal pressing a little _too_ hard on her best friend.

He'd trapped her in Marco's own dream, it seemed. Star was sure the next night, whenever that may come, would be equally as terrible.

And it came. _And great, I'm thinking about it again._

Star snapped back with a start. Her eyes whizzed about for several second, blinking ebbing sleepiness out of her eyes - _Was I just falling asleep while standing?_ Once upon a time, the princess would be impressed with herself.

Now, though, she gingerly lifted one foot at a time, peeling off each sock. While leaning over to remove the second, movement in the corner of her eye startled the princess. Like a whip her gaze snapped to attention, and in her delirium Star's hands nearly shot up to cover herself, until she realized with a light blush who it was.

On the opposing wall, her mirror-phone stared back, presenting quite the caller on the other end: a skinny blonde with pale skin and little else that was particularly remarkable, currently having a mental crisis in her underwear.

She and Star ogled one another just long enough for the princess to start feeling ridiculous.

"Alright Star," the princess murmured low, "time to find reality and get a grip on it."

She slid her leggings on with ease, followed overhead by the dress. With dexterous movements Star busied one hand adjusting her straps, while the other freed her golden mane caught inside. A rushed finger-comb to groom herself, before sliding the devil-horned headband behind her ears to keep it all restrained, but not aggressively so. Star floofed her bangs a bit, checking herself in the mirror, and smiled bright after decreeing them perfect. Never did she spend hours in front of the mirror getting ready for the day like her mother; the time could be better spent on having fun.

With this in mind, came her final and favorite component to the outfit - a studded bracelet. Star didn't know precisely what material it was made from, but the weighty metal sent chilled shocks down Star's wrist on contact, though she liked the sensation and quickly grew accustomed. The rustic charm of her treasured affection clashed with everything Star was supposed to be - a prim and proper princess. Wearing it to her family reunion was sure to raise a couple eyebrows, and the fantasy brought an impish smirk to Star's lips.

She and the mirror-girl grinned to one another. _Looking cute? Check, check, and triple check!_

Ready for the day, Star had little else to do but wait for Marco. Knowing him, that could take upwards a half-n'-hour. _That boy is fussier than a queen when it comes to getting ready._ The distinctive hiss running on the other side of the bathroom door made Star groan dramatically as she flopped down on her bed.

It took one second for boredom to set in.

"Marcoooh," she moaned loud enough to hear herself in the vastness of her bedroom, " _hurry uuuuup!_ "

As if on cue, the hissing stopped. Star's face fixed with puzzlement, but lightened up with a satisfied yip. Seconds later, and Star could swear she heard the faint chords of _'Awesome Feeling'_ alternating between being sung and hummed by Marco Diaz.

She considered encouraging him to belt out the lyrics with all his little heart, but Star decided against it, not wishing to ruin his good mood.

"You deserve it, bud."

It was intended as a well-wish to any who cared to listen, except Star's words were tainted with something gross, and she did not catch herself in time before they passed her lips. The way she'd muttered these words like she was something akin to bitterness, except Star had been scolded by her mother more times than she cared to remember, and thus knew what that felt like. This was not bitterness.

Star's memory recalled the rare times this specific feeling had surfaced, but they were completely inconsequential to what was happening now. For how was lying in bed, thinking about Marco, anything like the times Pony Head would show off a new pair of skinny jeans she'd bought, or a different shade of lipstick, or their now-precious dimensional scissors?

With that last memory came sound: _"Dimensional scissors!? Augh! Jealous!"_

Star blinked at the canopy above her bed - jealous? Immediately she understood why, the cause of it all, but that just made Star feel ashamed: was she actually envious over Marco, for something he couldn't even control?

He was lucky though, never recalling any of the things his little dream-self endured. But the boy Star had saved every other night was just so much like her best friend, it hurt her to see him like that. Even if he and the whole scenario was just a ruse.

A shake of the head to try and purge this faint malcontent, but to little avail; Star continued feeling that stupid, green monster stomping around in her guts. Goodness, these dreams really were getting to her.

Star distracted her mind with other matters. They were all for naught, however, for every instance she would imagine herself in detention with Janna on Monday, getting into trouble, Star would instead see Jackie's body, or the calamity around her, or Ludo's terrified face as he flew back into the detention hall, glowworm stuck to his belly - that moment only lasted half a second, and Star only remembered a red haze tinting that moment, but for whatever reason this image felt like it was burned into her memory with a hot iron.

She shook her head. Maybe a date night with Pony Head and the Bounce Lounge was in order, give Marco some space and herself a bit of fun to clear her head - goodness knows it's been a while since she'd spent the night dancing her cares away. Memories of her favorite hangout surged forth, and were happily accepted by the princess. Nostalgia came in the form of DJ Jump-Jump's latest mix, thumping away in the echoes of her past life as a backdrop: for the cares of the Universe, and all her anxieties, just melting away like sand between one's fingers, for Star rollicking with her old crew, and the phantom burn of that purple goo Pony dared for her to drink last year.

A veritable home away from home, and Star found herself longing for it. But not for too long, for another track started and she heard Pony Head screaming over the thunderous melody, "Get up there and let loose, girl!"

And so she did - the bouncy rhythm, the stuttering lights, all the creatures from every dimension all around her, coming here to bump sweaty bodies and forget their problems too?

It got Star shaking; it got her flicking her hips, knees bending to the beat while she bobbed her head and chewed her lip with focus intense on her moves.

That's all it was - dancing and fun. Nothing more. Nothing more than Pony Head once again eating something she wasn't supposed to, trying it with Kelly and Tad and then watching them across the lounge, passed out and lost amidst their throes of pleasure in one of the booths. Johnny Blowhole was the center of attention where Star was not, tearing up the dance floor like it were canvas and he an artist. Upon DJ Jump-Jump's square head sat Headphone Jones, yelling incomprehensibly to the screaming patrons of the Bounce Lounge, and Lady Scarfs-a-Lot would periodically fly overhead, host in tow. Star, and the whole universe it seemed, was having a grand old time until the Bounce Lounge grew dark.

Once second later, all noise ceased - all the music, cheering, even any panting. Nothing, not even an echo. It was like someone just pulled the plug on the universe.

But Star kept pumping her fists to music she pretended to hear. "Pony?" she called, not opening her eyes. A familiar voice echoed back; her movements slowed. "Guys?"

Unease bled into her skin, making her hairs stand on-end. When Star opened her eyes the world was blacker than shadow, the world beneath her feet had turned red, and when she tried lifting her feet, a cloying stickiness was felt sucking them back down.

"Wha...?" the princess breathed, eyes roving and wide with confusion. When Star breathed in, she tasted copper. "What's happening?" Her breath ghosted before her.

Marco's voice was in her ear, "Wake up, Star."

_"NYAH!"_

Her fist instinctively flew forward, striking something soft that cried out on impact. The sound gave Star a scare, and she stuttered, blinking many times until the darkness, the red, and the Bounce Lounge made way for her bed, her room, and Marco splayed across the ground, one hand grasping at his chest.

"St... _ar_..." he groaned.

It took the princess several seconds of staring shellshocked to realize what had happened. In an instant she was off her bed and kneeling beside Marco, propping his head on her lap. "Marco, you know better than to sneak up on me!" she admonished. A finger brushed his once-groomed hair out of his eyes. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

The boy merely wheezed, "Shower's free," and Star rolled her eyes - he was okay.

"I took one last night, but don't change the subject Mister!" Star fretted like a worried sister, as she cast concerned eyes down upon her friend's. "Your squishy Earth-body could have been seriously hurt, you know."

Star could take Marco's flailing fists during his night terrors with no problem - mewmans were a durable people, after all. But humans, even someone as strong as Marco, were incredibly fragile by comparison, and Star's own strength, both natural and conditioned, had the potential to be dangerous. Marco already had a taste of it whenever she trapped him in one of her patented "literally bone-crushing" hugs.

"My bruised pectoral will remind me in the future," Marco said while sitting up, wincing all the while. He was in his typical red hoodie/black skinny jeans combo. With a sigh and a hasty comb of his hair, he turned to her with a feeble smile and asked, "You ready to go?"

Star gave an eager nod. "Yeah! Let's go meet the family."

"Alright." Marco sent a smile her way as he helped her up.

The smile was like an arrow through the heart - so soft and lamblike and sweet and just so _Marco_. Star wanted to protect that smile; she wanted to protect the boy who made it, hug him, and tell him it was all going to be okay.

She hoped that what she felt inside didn't show to Marco, especially back in his bedroom, when it all was so fresh in her mind. Within the dreamscape Star could hold herself just fine - the rush of battle was still strong, and she was intent on banishing the nightmares and protecting her bestie. It was when she saw him safe and sound and awake and oblivious to it all, that it became hard to ignore what she'd seen.

Star knows blood - she was no stranger to the shedding of it from monsters and, a few times, herself, and although she was never witness to a slaughter like last night, she'd seen the aftermath of a particularly gruesome village raid orchestrated by some bold monsters, once upon a foggy day, when she decided eight was old enough to leave the castle (and it was, thank you very much, Mom).

So badly Star wanted to say something to him, assure him that she would never, ever let Ludo or anyone else hurt him or their friends. Not even herself. _I will never let people die for my wand,_ Star thought to herself.

It was a pledge, at first. Then she repeated it to herself as she chatted with Marco, followed him into the bathroom, slid against the door, and once more, just right now.

_I will never let people die for my wand. Never ever ever._

To her dismay, she'd once again made a crude prayer. But Star was under an obligation, borne of her own volition to keep Marco happy. Embracing him the way she desired, promising the things she wanted to promise, it would have made Marco worried about her (because darn it, he just cared so much about other people!).

For this time Star, in one of the few, rare instances in her life, could not simply do as she pleased. For once, she had to consider the consequences, and knew that in acting upon her desires would have been completely out of the blue. That would raise suspicions, and suspicions birthed questions. And once she started Star just knew she would have no hope of tricking Marco once her tongue started flying. It was always a problem of hers, especially when she felt as guilty as she did now.

Bad enough Star was hiding her escapades from him already, but if Marco got suspicious or, Mewni forbid, found out before she could fully heal him?

Disaster. Disaster and betrayal and heartbreak.

Star couldn't do that to Marco, not so prematurely. Their friendship couldn't take that kind of punishment.

Star couldn't even take the thought of it - she banished it from her mind like her future of being queen. _Buck up Star,_ she told herself. _You're an independent warrior princess with a magic wand, who's helping her best friend. You're helping him, girl! This is the right thing!_

She never imagined doing the right thing could feel so wrong, though - shouldn't the right thing feel, you know, _right_?

And yet... deep in her heart, deeper than any preconceived notions of "right" and "wrong" could hope to reach, was a feeling. And it told her that this was the best way to help Marco - Star knew this wasn't going to fix itself, and once it was all over and he's finally cured, she would tell him the truth, and she knew after explaining everything that Marco would understand.

A gut feeling.

Star knew, when all was said and done, that everything was going to be alright.


	15. Family - That is All (pt 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star and Marco attend a family picnic

Although it was his fourth, today marked Marco's first "official" visit to the kingdom according to Moon Butterfly.

The Toffee affair was of course known to many, but Moon decreed it "unofficial," which Marco could understand - it was all very unexpected, and the circumstances quite harrowing for everyone involved. From her behavior towards him, Marco suspected the queen was still ignorant of their previous forays into her land - the half-baked "vacation" that brought his parents to the kingdom, courtesy of her daughter, or a couple weeks ago when they viewed magnificent Mewni on dragon-back.

Thus, as far as the families were concerned, he had no qualms pretending this was his first visit to Mewni. It allowed Marco to loosen the coiled spring in his chest that earned him the "Safe Kid" moniker, for there was no present danger in getting hurt at a family picnic. That came with the seldom-tasted privilege of enjoying the simple pleasures that came with having a royal best friend - the corn, for instance, was once of them.

Marco took another bite of Heaven itself. A satisfying crunch rattled his eardrums, and a burst of sweet juices moistened his lips. The grin Marco bore never left his face, shining strong as he proclaimed through a mouthful of mush, "I _love_ your people's corn!"

He heard a soft chuckle on his right. "Dork."

"Hm?" Marco looked over to Star, her face planted firmly in both hands yet smirking despite her evident grumpiness.

"You are," she teased, and quicker than he could blink she dashed a finger up his cheek, catching a kernel on her pinkie nail. "But you - _really-_ make 'Mewni-corn lipstick' work, Diaz." Then she popped it in her mouth and chewed the tiny morsel with deliberate grinding.

Marco flushed, though he and he hoped Star assumed it was from her comment. He laughed it off. "I can make _anything_ work. Princess dresses, ballet shoes, corn..." He polished off the ear in hand before drying his face with a napkin. Crumpling then dropping it beside him, Marco greedily reached for another from the huge pile on the platter in the center of table.

"So good," he moaned as the warm, earthy-sweet aroma hit his nostrils. His assault on the ear was not unlike a piranha on a drowning calf, consuming bite after bite of the Mewni-corn's succulent flesh.

The flavor invoked memories of Mewnipendence Day, the first and last time he tasted it before today. And yet, the second it first touched upon his taste buds Marco knew his home dimension's would forever be held to scrutiny beside its parallel from Mewni. Its mouth-melting flavor, the crunch every time he bit into it; even that faintly sweetened aroma tantalized his adoration. Marco's craving was an awesome force, and he believed, although was vaguely convinced it were in his head, that the corn tasted even better when it was picked, prepped, and served right here in its home dimension.

Marco hummed giddily. He waved his partially-devoured ear like a scepter and decreed, "Today's a good day." The toddlers he sat with either continued making art with their food or followed suit, their eyes big and seeking approval from the eldest at the table.

"Good day!" parroted a Butterfly with little crowns adorning her cheeks. "Good day! Good day!"

Marco leaned over to the Mohawk-sporting Johansen boy beside him. "She knows what I'm talking about!" The child looked up from his splatter-art just long enough to blast Marco in the face with the contents of his stomach. Marco jerked away a second too late. "Oh, God!" he cried, hands flapping. Star bellowed out laughing beside him. _"Staaaar!"_

"On it!" With a wave of her wand and a cry of, _"Squeaky Clean Orange Beam!"_ Marco's world became entrenched in pitch-darkness after what looked like the sun itself flashed forth from the wand's cleaved head. His eyes pulsated with a mild burn, yet it was over quick as it began; his eyes fluttered away the bleariness, but Marco tried knuckling away the lingering ache.

"Eh-heh, sorry!" he heard from a sheepish princess.

 _"You're okay,"_ he intended to say, but the pain stuffed Marco's mouth with what felt like so much tissue paper, and it came out as a slurring, "M'kay."

His eyes still burned, but Marco squinted through the pain to see his best friend: Star's arms were across her knees, due to the lowness of their seats at the kids' table, but also it looked as though she tried to hide behind them - yet, despite her sour attitude from before, none of that was evident in her sincerity currently on display. Marco allowed himself a genuine smile. "Thanks for the save." He felt his eyes running, but let out a breathy laugh for his friend's sake. "At least I'm clean!"

Marco had to consciously steel his voice to prevent sounding like he was about to cry.

He seemed to have tricked the princess - she grinned hearing his words. "And the gold lining to your silver?" Star handed Marco a napkin to dab his eyes, revealing to him in a conspiratorial whisper, "You smell like oranges."

All the citrus in the world couldn't erase the phantom odor of corn-puke from Marco's memory. "I probably did something to deserve that." He sounded a short sigh, his enthusiasm dealt a sizable blow after being nailed in the face so precisely. "I think Little Monster here planned that," he muttered to Star.

Brow cocked, she looked over; the offender happily continued slapping his hands in corn-mush.

"Oh," the princess perked up, "you mean Cousin Birch?"

"Stah!" the babe babbled.

"Don't take it personally, Marco. He does that to _ev-ery-body_ who isn't from my dad's side, or _tries_ to at least. That's why he's next to you and not me!"

Marco regarded Star and her impish smile with a withering look. "Thanks."

"Anything for my bestie!" she sang.

Marco's gaze dropped to the plate of corn in front of him. Slowly his face morphed from confusion to utter horror as he noticed some of Birch's residue speckled the corn. The sight alone made his stomach roar in disgust.

He was given a small start when a hand laid on his shoulder, accompanied by a familiar rapping of, "Hey, hey, hey..." Marco promptly followed the arm to meet its owner's baby-blue eyes, "don't take it personally! It's just a dumb _family thing_ , don't let that ruin your fun! Here, eat some corn!"

"Sta-MMF!" Marco's words were blocked by a fat ear of corn shoved between his teeth. He gave it a couple experimental squeezes. "Hm!" he sounded a perky hum upon tasting the corn's delectable flavor. Marco removed the ear and resumed eating it like a normal person, vaguely aware that Star essentially silenced him like he were a baby with a pacifier, yet caring about it just as much.

Only the princess could make Marco feel okay about that. _She's being a good friend,_ he thought to himself, not as an assurance, but more of a reaffirmation. Even in the worst of times, like the incident with the sandwich or the "Friends to the End" gift card, Star always had his best interests at heart.

"You know what? Gimme one o' those _thangs_." Star reached for an ear from the center platter, taking an end in each hand and beholding it like the golden treasure it was. " _Cooorn_ ," the princess moaned, before chomping down. A loud, wet crunch sounded, and Star was coated up to her cheek-hearts in corn juice. She and Marco met eyes for a brief instant before both started giggling through their mouthfuls.

"Do, Do I rock corn-lipstick as well as you, Marco?" Star laughed, messy face tilted towards him.

Smirking, Marco quickly dashed a finger against one of her hearts, coating it in juice and eliciting a surprised sound from the princess. He held his finger up for inspection, already pondering it for way longer than he needed to. "Not enough corn," he decided after a moment's thought, "but you're on your way."

The princess cried out dramatically, "Oh teach me, Princess Marco!" She laughed even harder at his flushing face, both sharing each other's merriment. Though Marco's was considerably weaker as he felt the weight of two-dozen eyes staring at the back of his head. Star resumed chowing down on her corn - although a Butterfly, she took after her father moreso, especially when she was about as tidy as the youngster who shared their table.

The "kid's table" she had called it, begrudgingly so. Marco knew the sting of being patronized all too well, and could sympathize with the princess. But they were together, with all the corn they could eat, so Marco didn't really mind being away from the adults, projectile puking notwithstanding; especially after the greeting they had received once Joffrey the Steward announced their arrival:

_"STAH, S'AT YER MANSERVANT 'R YER CONK-Y'BINE!?"_

First impressions are everything. At least, that's the belief Marco was raised on.

Yet, what more could he say to these barbaric lords and upper crust royalty, but blush like a fool and choke on his own words?

Star, as always, came in with the save, blessedly ignorant as to what a "concubine" was, or coming off as such what with how cheerful and casually she replied, waving off the question with a chipper, "Nope!" Her her arm was around his shoulder, but still reeling from the titles bestowed upon him Marco could only fear the implications of their closeness. Yet at the same time he found himself quite statuesque, so cold and petrified.

He admired the princess's will to keep a straight face, if she was aware of what the Johansen just implied about their relationship, himself, and her most of all.

"This is my best friend from Earth: Marco Diaz!" She'd presented him with both hands on his shoulders, though Marco felt more a gargoyle than a human boy, facing off against the multi-headed basilisk that was Princess Star Butterfly's royal family.

The relative who had spoke, a mountain of muscle wearing a bear pelt named Uncle Grunt, was blessedly silenced when a Butterfly javelin-tossed an ear of corn into his maw.

"Must you Johansens be so repugnant!?" star-cheeked Aunt Etheria squawked sharply. "A Butterfly would never fornicate with one so common!"

What looked like a giant, wild version of River slammed an empty goblet on the table; his slurred speech and mead-soaked beard alluded to his current state of mind. "Sodding fools, the lotta yous!" he growled like some massive, hairy beast. "This Ma-arco _s'clearly_ one o' my niece's lady-friends! Lookit that supple face!"

And both sides of the table erupted like a summer storm, violent and unexpected; where words whipped to and fro, like so much rain, and fists struck the table with thunderous rapport.

Throughout it all, Marco was trying to understand what was happening, who the barbarians were or why Star's family was so angry over something so meaningless. That is until he heard Moon Butterfly's distinctive voice shout over the cacophony, " _RIVER!_ Control your family!" and the clamor died down on its own from the queen's harsh tongue-lashing, just enough for Marco to hear River before seeing him standing amongst the barbarians.

He seemed to not hear his wife, and although he was the sharpest dressed on the right side of the table, his behavior was no less rowdy than the men and women at his sides:

"My boy Marco is a truer man than any of you sycophants!"

"River!"

_"But you royal tarts wouldn't know a true gentleman if you've seen one, would you!?"_

_"River!"_

_"SINCE THEY'RE ALL TOO BUSY KISSING YOUR POWDERED BEHINDS!"_

_"RIVER!"_

" _RAAA_ -O-Oh, sorry, my dear!"

The king went on to calm his side of the table while Moon did the same, and only then did it click with Marco: these were two different royal families, united only by the marriage of Star's parents. Their differences were night and day, so painfully obvious that he did not believe the mountain clan were related to the Butterflys. He was half-right, in a sense.

Once everyone calmed down, the princess led Marco to "meet" her family personally, although much of it amounted to Star giving a quick, "Hi, 'name!' _Huuuugs~!_ This is my bestie, Marco Diaz!" She wasted not a word more before moving on to the next uncle, aunt, or cousin. All seemed happy to reunite with their little princess, bloodlines be damned.

Which was why Marco felt a little taken aback when she sighed in relief after they walked some several feet away from the picnic, deeper into the flower-speckled planes of Mewni's grasslands.

"Jeez, I love 'em but there's so many family. Too much, actually! Marco, you want some extra aunts or uncles? Maybe a cousin? I'll give 'em to ya fo' _free~!"_

A loud roar rose up from behind them. "I shall remove your head a second time, LUMP! _MARK MY WORDS!_ "

A wave of the hand. "Hard pass. But, thanks."

"Your welcome!" Her hearts rested atop a happy little smile.

"So, uh, Star..." Marco jut a thumb behind him, "mind telling me what their deal is?" _Like, why this family is anything_ but _, for instance?_

" _WELLLL_ ," she began, "it _all_ started when the first settlers came to Mewni..."

According to history, the Johansens are a northern family as old as the Butterfly lineage, risen up from the very mewmans who helped drive away the monsters and claim the land as their own. They had not a drop of magic in their veins, unlike the family they once bowed to, but made up for it in strength, blood, and honor. The Johansens did not style themselves as Kings and Queens, but Jarls, although the principles were largely the same. Nor did they sit in palaces, high above the peasantry, but rather among them, in sturdy holdfasts and longhouses nestled deep in the snow-blasted valleys of the Northern continent. Star highly recommended their hot chocolate.

Throughout it all she spoke with nostalgia and reverence, having not visited in many years. Marco had an idea, and when he disclosed it to Star she hugged him tight and rapid-fired a stream of "YESYESYES!" into his neck: a personal getaway to visit the "fun" side of the family in their native country delighted her to no end, and Marco felt his insides warm for bringing such joy to his friend. He was already selecting an extended weekend in his mental calendar when she moved on to her mother's side of the family.

Living with Star for almost a year, Marco already had a general idea of who the Butterflys were (decidedly NOT like the princess), and how they operated already. All were inherently magical, and much like on Earth the firstborn was to inherit the throne - within their veins coursed a magic more potent than that of their relatives. In a sense, Star was more powerful than any of her family at this picnic, except her mother of course. Butterflys who were not destined for the throne were spread throughout the countryside, lording over humble holdfasts and smaller, personable cities that had fewer people than the thousands who lived in the shadow of Castle Butterfly.

The couple had taken rest on the slope of a grassy knoll by the story's end. Marco was busying his fingers, plucking out blades of grass, when he asked, "How'd your parents even meet, then? Especially since both families look like they want to _rip_ each other's eyes out."

The princess hugging her legs beside him simply replied, "That, my dear, sweet Marco, is a tale for another day."

Star had been his friend long enough for that to set off a red flag. Marco said nothing until she turned toward his silence, and met with the slab of stone that was his face. "You have no idea how your parents met."

"Nada. Come on, it's time for lay-hunch!" Without warning she grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him back to the picnic, proclaiming, "And this big girl's gonna sit at the grownup table!"

She did not.

Where they were placed instead (after a futile but admittedly creative attempt involving a covered platter), Marco noted the obvious before even sitting down - gowns and glamour on one side, scrappy and messy on the other. _Even the kiddies have this rivalry going on._

Both families were larger than life, and Marco couldn't help but feel humbled in their presence. _What do they think about me? Are they judging me!?_ This was not the first instance such a thought passed through his mind, although the thousand pounds of anxiety that weighed on his chest had become considerably lighter every time. Especially when he considered cousin Birch was the first outside of Star's immediate family to outright acknowledge his existence after all that ugliness from before.

Marco rolled his gaze over to the corner of his eye, where the offender happily munched on his small plate of kernels.

He scooted over one inch to the right, where a sultry voice was unexpectedly in his ear. "Why hello, Mr Diaz."

Marco jerked away with a sharp yelp, instantly drawing a laugh from the princess. "I hate you," he breathed, grasping the front of his hoodie.

Star grinned like the Cheshire Cat. "Consider it payback for this morning."

"Oh, we're playing _that_ game now, are we?"

_"Maaaybeee..."_

Marco opened his mouth, readying a reply, when an eruption of shouting behind them cut him off. Star turned on the spot, and Marco followed suit, leaning back to see the adult's table.

The princess groaned in dismay, her hands splayed out at her sides. "Ugh, all the cool stuff is happening over there!"

It looked as though both sides of the table were readying an all out brawl - the Butterflys' remarks amounted to insulting the Johansens' bloodline, and were met with personal insults that rendered Marco a nice hoodie-red. They seemed no different from his first encounter with the family.

"What 'stuff' are you talking about?" he asked.

Star never stopped biting the back of her chair as she answered, _"Grownup stuff!"_

* * *

The instant her father announced his idea, gripping the Johansen standard above his head, belting out the warcry of a true King, both sides of the family at last found common ground and followed suit, bellowing akin to a clan of warriors as opposed to royalty.

With a lurch of adrenaline spearing her in the chest Star followed suit, drawing her and Marco's own standard with a piercing cry of, _"FLAAAGS!"_

Such energy pumped in her veins that Star shot up from her chair once the flood of bloodthirsty relatives washed over the kids' table. She wasted not a second longer before gripping her bestie by the sleeve of his hoodie. "Come on, Marco! Let's play!"

"My cor- _wah-hoah!"_ She only made it four steps before she jerked back with a stop - Marco dug his heels into the ground. "Wait, Star, what's going on? What are we doing?" His question was not in anger or even annoyance, his emotions were charged with bewilderment if anything, as was typical of Marco Diaz. In all the time she'd known him, Star was positive the boy had not a single angry bone in his body.

Without breaking her enthusiasm she explained, "It's Flags! We gotta be the first to get this," she gestured with her standard, then pointed it outward, "up there!"

She couldn't beam any brighter if she tried, but oh how she wanted to when Marco's face lit up in that way she loved. "Aha, it's just like King of the Hill!" His tone screamed "eureka." "I rock at that game!"

As he spoke now all smug-like Star followed his gaze, and discovered it was pointed at a pathetic pimple of a hill across the meadow. "Uh, wrong one buddy. _That's_ it." Marco's eyes couldn't possibly get any bigger as he tried taking in all of the Biome-Dome in its magnificent chaos, all while Star explained, "Snow mountains, rock mountains, lava mountains too! We gotta race to the top, and the first to get there looks down on the losing family _for a whole year!"_

Just the thought of it made Star squeal internally - she imagined the looks on her family's faces when they realize the mix-blooded princess and her amazing bestie from Earth were the ones to beat them at Flags. It would be just like the way a Butterfly wrinkled their nose when catching an eyeful of her chosen attire for today, metal bracelet and all, except way more hilarious.

 _And then they'll never underestimate us again._ Absentmindedly, Star locked her flagpole in a vice grip - if her skin weren't so pale already, Marco would certainly see her knuckles turn frost-white.

"So, uh, whose side are we on, then?" he asked, hands in hoodie pockets.

Star cocked a brow - her friend could be so silly sometimes. But at least he was safe and happy. _Nope, nope. Not thinkin' about that right now, Brain. It's game time._ " _Our_ side, ya goof! Come on, I've been waiting _forever_ to finally play Flags!"

"And you'll have to wait a little longer."

Star was still processing who was suddenly in front of her when the individual, her mother, swiped the flag out from her grasp. She choked. "Mom! But, I-!"

Her queenly parent turned on the spot, and spoke with a tone that booked no argument. "You can have this back upon the match's conclusion, but you aren't playing Flags, Star. Especially not with your guide."

The enormity of how completely unfair this was made Star gasp. "Why not!? _You_ played Flags at my age, why can't I?"

" _Star._ " The utterance of her name was like a dagger in the ear - short and sharp. When Mom spoke once more, her perfect posture sagged just enough for Star to see her weariness, and her voice reflected as such: "I said 'no,' sweetie. It's for the best. Just trust me, okay?" Mom offered her weak tenderness - it was always clear to Star that she got her smile from her father's side, and it was never as evident as it was right now.

She grimaced further at the gloved hand her mother placed on her shoulder - this was _so_ stupid. "You'll have your time, Star. It just isn't today. Now," Mom straightened up, and pointed back to where the picnic was, "go and help your little cousins chew their corn."

From the corner of her eye Star watched her mother retreat to her comfortable little dais by the picnic table, flag in hand. _Her_ flag in hand.

A growl rolled in her throat; Star waited until she was sure Mom was out of earshot before raising her wand, surging with energy. The green bolts it emitted nipped at her wrist like tiny wasps, but they were quickly smothered under the calming hand of Marco Diaz.

"Hey, hey, hey," he cooed, gently lowering her wand. Star met his sympathy with persistent aggravation. "M-Maybe, it is for the best, Star. I mean, your Mom probably has a good reason for not letting us play."

Star told him what she thought of that - she blew a big, fat raspberry. "Oh, please! She just doesn't want me to be a _'perfect widdle pwincess!'"_ Star drilled a finger into one of her hearts as she said that, and spoke with exaggerated princess-like cheer. "No way, we're gonna play Flags, Marco. You and me!" A flick of the wand, and Star conjured another copy of her standard in her free hand, which she then slung over Marco's shoulder. "And we are gonna _win_!"

"Uh... um..." Marco's hesitance was clear, but one flash of her puppy-dog eyes and he relented like always. "Okay, okay," he said with an easy smile. "But didn't your mom ask us to sit at the kid's table?"

"Oh, don't worry about that." Star felt the spark of mischief take command of her expression, and she rose her wand as it glowered with a soft pink energy. "We'll be sittin' there alright."

* * *

**I know this was an uneventful chapter - as per ususal I wished to post this entire segment as one, but that was before it reached 4,000 words and realized I had about 4,000 to go, on top of the fact that it's been weeks since my last update.**

**Trust me, next chapter's gonna be great.**


	16. Family - That is All (pt 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star and Marco engage in a mewnian display of athleticism and competition

Marco had no idea how he got here.

That isn't to say he forgot the sequence of events that brought him here, to Mewni, for the Butterfly-Johansen Family Picnic - in an ideal world, he'll never forget a single one.

But Marco Diaz did remember a time before the first in this long, zany string of misadventures: how eight months ago, he was mustering up the courage to nod at Jackie Lynn Thomas for the millionth morning in a row. Less than an hour later, he was called to the office by Principal Skeeves.

Now he was waiting to play "extreme CTF" by hiding under an all-enveloping cape of fur worn by a man named "Uncle Grunt," who had a set of dentures to replace his missing hand.

Truly, life is strange.

"Marcorn Diaz and Star Buttercorn are in position," reported Star. "I repeat: M-Corn and B-Corn are deployed and ready to engage target boogie: Mom, over."

"That's 'bogie,' Star. 'Bogie,'" Marco whispered, exasperated. "Who are you talking to anyways?"

"Correction: 'bogie.' Over." Star held a stern disposition while lowering her wand from her lips, then she broke into her cheery self with an exclamation of, "And you, Marco! Who else?"

Marco opened his mouth, readying a prompt reply but hesitating, then choking, when simply nothing came. "I don't know how to answer that," he confessed. As Star does with her problems, Marco sidelined this line of questioning to be forgotten. There were louder, more obvious problems on his mind anyway. " _You know_ we'll get in trouble, right? Your mom only needs to _look_ to realize that the corn-twins aren't actually us."

"Correction Marco: you are incorrect," the princess lightly proclaimed. She smiled knowingly, apparently not registering her friend's flat look. "It's like you said: they're the corn _twins,_ meaning they are _us_ , _meaning_ that Mom can't _bust_ us if we're sitting at the table like she asked!"

There was a sort of logic to Star Butterfly that Marco had learned to accept - making sense of it was another matter entirely, however. After several seconds he released a breath he'd been holding and said, "I'm, like, fifty percent sure you're being serious."

Star mocked his voice as she replied, "Then you'd be, like, fifty percent wrong, _Marco Diaz._ "

The boy felt his own mouth smirking, despite himself, and was in the midst of opening his mouth when Manfred's voice projected out from a megaphone: "The game will commence once all participants are at the ready." His voice rolled out across the vast grasslands surrounding Castle Butterfly. Manfred always sounded slightly exasperated to Marco, but for once it sounded intentional when he heard the steward say, "We will not begin until all are _behind_ the starting line; not a _single hair_ past it, _please_."

Even his pleasantry sounded just so - a pleasantry, a requirement.

Marco guessed as to why upon hearing a lot of Johansen-esque grumbling outside of their hairy cocoon. When Star wordlessly peeked her head around Grunt's muscle-rippled leg, a fleeting sense of abandon ushered him to mirror her.

Amidst their motions, Manfred never stopped commentating. "Here's to another 'spirited' game of Flags, my Lords and Ladies. Er, let us _not_ have a repeat of last year's... _unfortunateness?_ "

Marco whispered to Star, "What's he talking about?" For whatever reason, his inner-Safe Kid felt the bothersome beginnings of dread crawling up his guts, seeping into his breast.

"My dad's brother, Uncle Lump, was just about to reach the peak," Star regaled with a dramatic lilt, and dragging a hand across her throat concluded, "but then Great Aunt Etheria cut his _whole. Entire. Body_ off."

The all-too-familiar pang of concern walloped him in the gut. But strangely not enough for Marco to cry out, "What!?" past a barely-controlled hiss, too shocked to even care his voice cracked when asking in a shrill whisper, "G-God, is he _okay_?"

Though it really shouldn't have surprised him, Star smiled at his reaction. "Oh re- _lax_ , Marco! Uncle Lump's fine! See? He's right over there."

She pointed to an individual Marco vaguely remembered her giving a quick "Hello" to from before - sure enough, that horse with a man's head, currently clutching a Johansen flag between his teeth, was in fact an uncle of Star's. He pawed his hoof into the ground, looking quite determined for this year's rematch.

Marco was speechless, and even Star, although far more desensitized to the impossible, sounded a little weirded-out as she lamented, "I think he's happier like this."

The survival instinct within Marco was sending off all kinds of red flags, begging him to ask aloud, _What kind of game cuts your body off!?_ Yet his immediate reaction came blubbering forth, asking, "How is he even _alive_?"

To his burning question Star simply answered, "He's a mewman!" and that somehow made sense. Marco was the unfortunate witness to many instances where his best friend took a mighty hit: assaults that never failed to make his heart stop, and then start again seeing her jump back into the fray in an instant, as if merely bitten by a fly. It was yet another reminder that Star was far from human, despite appearances.

It was seconds after Star's answer that Manfred, from atop his spectator's chair, announced to all present: "The game will begin once I give the signal."

"Here we go, Marco!"

He had not a second to mentally ready himself before hearing, "Ready? Set! _Flags!_ " Upon the last word and with one ear primly covered, a swift pop sprang from Manfred's starting gun.

And the howling Butterflys and roaring Johansens stampeded forth.

 _"AYEAYEAYEAYEAYE!"_ shrieked the princess's battle cry.

Marco mimicked her with a squeaky but excited young-boy cry of his own, and everything was hitting him at once: the air was warm, but beat hard against his face while his ears rang with the thunderous rapport around him, that _he_ too was a part of. He didn't even register the sweat beginning to collect beneath his armpits!

As a fourteen-year-old starved for danger, Marco couldn't deny the adrenaline rushing to his head - the starting shot, how loud it banged before all Hell stampeded out the gate, guns ablaze, in the form of Star's crazy family... it was exciting.

No, scratch that; it was downright _exhilarating_.

'The Charge.' Marco had seen it so many times in fiction, in movies that would make him hug his legs tight with mix-fear and wonder, as he assured himself that he would totally want to be a part of that (from fifty feet away with a medical kit in hand of course).

 _And now I'm actually in it._ Alongside his best friend no less, ready to storm a breathtaking impossibility of magic quickly looming upon the horizon. Only then did it hit him that this was real, that it was happening, and that he was laughing himself breathless and almost dragging their speed down.

Star peaked a bright blue eye in his direction, never breaking her rapid stride. "Come on, Marco! Manfred says the Johansens got a big lead! We're gotta get past them to _win_ , remember?"

Marco felt his ears turn red. "R-Right! Sorry! Let's go!" He laughed raggedly, then pumped his legs harder to be in step with the princess, and even moved his hand into her grasp. Star made a sound that was drowned out by the noisy chaos around them, but when she looked down at what filled her hand, her eyes met with his.

The noise fell out around them, the world melted away, until it was just him and Star running side-by-side, hand in hand.

"Let's win this thing," she said, loud and clear.

Marco steadied his breath long enough to imitate her strength. "Yeah!" He laughed like a dork, suddenly gasping for breath and embarrassing himself further. Star simply maintained a content smile while returning focus on the world ahead.

All the sound in the world came surging back, the arms of both families whipping in the wind like pink and blue vipers caught his roving eye at every turn: the Johansen grizzly for instance, wearing a trap about its neck upon a purple shield wreathed in weaponry. He counted six flags bearing such a sigil. The Butterflys, though just as savage as their competitors as far as Marco was concerned, bore arms depicting a similar image that was far more elegant: a crowned warnicorn upon a star-spangled shield, decorated on either side with banners deep as midnight. An uncle and four aunts (three of them "greats" to Star) carried a flag bearing this standard, although Marco was sure the four guardsmen carrying extras weren't part of the family.

He turned toward Star. "Hey! ...Star!" he said between pants. "How come your-" His words died as did his pace, where with a belated reaction the princess was no longer beside him. Ahead he saw her golden hair flouncing away as she easily vaulted over a boulder, one of many that had begun to crop up as the landscape inclined toward the mountain.

 _She just left me!_ cried the tiny spike of indignation in his heart. Marco's brain was smarter though, and it told him, _Get your butt in gear, Safe Kid! What? You can't keep up with your fast, tough, cool best friend?_

His own self was mocking him - admittedly not the weirdest thing to ever happen to him. Quite the common occurrence, in fact, and it served to spur Marco on into doing something really stupid and senseless.

Though his intention was to follow Star just as madly as her relatives, to catch back up. He didn't think accepting a hand from Heartrude Butterfly was a bad idea until he was back at the bottom of the slope, clutched in the machine-like grasp of a Butterfly guardsmen.

He freed himself just as his ears caught Star's upbeat voice. "Nice takedown, Uncle Heartrude!"

Marco met her cheer with bewilderment - wasn't that cheating? And he understood Star never took things too seriously, but why would she be happy about having to fall behind?

 _Especially because of you, and your stupidity,_ jeered his thoughts, but Marco ignored them when they got like that.

"Star, why are you _praising_ him?" He clutched his wrist, and gestured to the guard still lying prone and stern by his feet. "He just tricked me! And pulled me down!"

He was met with a 'look' he'd been on the receiving end of many a time, and even Star once or twice; a look that screamed, 'Why are you being a spazz?'

"That's Flags!" she said like it were obvious. "It's how you play: do everything you can to ensure _your_ team reaches the peak."

"Oh." Suddenly decapitating Lump made sense.

_Wait..._

Marco's entire body went rigid.

_...Suddenly decapitating Lump makes sense?!_

"Star, this game's insane!"

The princess snorted. "Yeah it is!" Suddenly her hand was grasping his, locked like a couple chain links. "Come on, we gotta keep moving."

And together they ran, tearing up grass and leaving ruined earth in their wake. All the while Marco felt the Safe Kid assume control of his motions, and he felt more a passenger than the commander of his own body: all his anxieties - _What if we get hurt? What if Star gets HER body cut off? -_ were firing off at once, filling his chest with so much _stuff_ he believed it'd burst open violently at any moment. It was too much, too much to bear, too much! Even for Star...

 _Oh, Star..._ He realized smothering the feeling would require descending the mountain, leaving Star... leaving his friend disappointed.

_What was it she said all those months ago?_

_"All that matters is that we have each other's back!"_

_And just what would her words mean,_ Marco wondered as his legs pumped away on autopilot, _if I left her back exposed in a game of Flags?_

And when such a thought occurred, Marco spotted Star ahead of him: golden hair, flouncing in rhythm with her jog, catching the light like so much molten gold. Her hand was clasping his own, so tight he believed she would never, ever let him go. And then somehow, Marco found himself being hoisted over the boulders, without so much as a noise of protest.

He was smiling all the while.

* * *

With Marco's hand in her's, cute flag in the other, Star raced up the grassy slopes of the Biome-Dome Mountain. It wasn't long before the grass beneath their feet turned to grainy, loose sand. Although Marco slipped a little, grumbling about getting it in his shoes, he never broke pace, and even managed to keep up with the princess. Which was good, because she really wanted to win, and even moreso with Marco on her side.

 _We can do this! We can WIN!_ Her heart soared - they could win this! _And then my family, Mom... they'll see how wrong they were - they'll see their little princess win a game of Flags, and then BOTH families will have to taste the melted ice cream of DEFEAT! And it will be topped with the whipped cream of dissatisfaction, and drizzled in bitter chocolate fudge, which they will have to feast on together FOR A WHOOOLE YEAR!_

_I AM SO READY FOR THIS!_

Even Marco seemed to be enjoying himself - poor Uncle Heartrude found himself ensnared. He cried out for assistance, but was met with jeers and laughter from her bestie. Star was sure her mother's uppity brother had actually been stuck, that it wasn't a ruse, but she enjoyed the fact that Marco seemed to be getting into the spirit of things. She was admittedly worried when he shared his reservations about playing, before the match started - the game wouldn't be nearly as fun if he returned to the picnic; only, like, ninety-percent as fun.

But it seemed, that whatever worries he had died quick as they came, for Marco followed her without so much as an argument.

Star found it funny - usually with something so minor, she would have to battle him a little before he'd inevitably relent. _Classic Marco,_ she'd often thought with fondness. _Forever the Safe Kid..._

Not that it was a bad thing - Marco had always been able to save the day and Star herself because of his very apt nickname (although he will deny its accuracy to his dying day). The Safe Kid was endearing, and despite her ribbing Star found the whole act to be incredibly adorable.

 _A little push out of the shell never hurt the crab,_ Star often thought, among instances when the Safe Kid took over. This time was different, in that there was little protesting to speak of - Marco just followed her, staring into her eyes with that look that, dammit, made her feel things she shouldn't feel for her best friend! But Star learned for herself, how utterly futile it was to battle herself, and deny her own feelings - and when Star had read Marco's eyes she felt how she always felt when his hand was in her's, that he believed in her, and... and it was _nice,_ knowing that there was at least one person in the Universe who would never stop, no matter her failings.

Marco had really come into his own since she met him, and his trust in her here, now, at Flags, felt like she was earning her own "red belt" in a way - graduating to a new level in helping her bestie experience the world, instead of hiding from it.

To call it a step forward would be a gross understatement. For Star, it was more like crossing the continent with a single tiptoe.

Or jogging up a mountain.

The jest occurred to her just as Marco froze to a stop at the border of the Storm Zone - black clouds blanketed the landscape ahead in sinister aura, and before them, sheets of rain pounded the earth into a soft, slippery material, although to the naked eye it was no different from the landscape before.

Star remembered as much from her father's past recollections, when she was but a little girl on her daddy's knee, enthralled by his stories and wishing to create her own. Star came prepared today, for her boots were made to adhere to any terrain and never lose her footing. _This part will be easy-peasy!_

Marco being Marco, of course, had his own reservations. "No way! I can- _not_ deal with wet so- _HOA-WOAH!"_

"Flags don't care what you want!" Star snarled - they were _not_ going to lose time just because Marco's being a huge nerd. He looked, well, unhappy to say the least; more like a wet cat actually, his brown hair hanging in jagged sheets plastered to his forehead. "We gotta pick up the pace!" Marco gave little protest as she turned on the spot and broke into yet another mad dash up the mountain, legs pumping robotically.

Star's hair slapped wetly against her back, an obscene smacking sound that sounded with every footfall - every instance she felt the earth trying to swallow her boots, but Star effortlessly tore it free without sparing so much as a thought.

Marco was not so lucky. "My shoe!" she heard him cry faintly amidst the roaring downpour.

Star hollered without looking back, "I'll make you another!"

All while the rain came down in what felt like entire oceans; within seconds upon entering the storm, thunder rumbling above their heads, the assault soaked both teens right down to the bone. But Star cared about as much as Marco did for his lost shoe. _It's just rain,_ she told herself. _I'm not gonna let that stop me!_

Conquering another small hill, they passed by Great Aunt Etheria as she tossed down some seeds in the path of a couple Johansen uncles, a pair Star didn't bother to stop and get a good look at. She felt a weight lag behind her slightly as Marco began to voice, "What a _minute_...!"

Star squeezed his hand. "Eyes on the prize, Marco!"

Further up the hill, Uncle Grunt laughed like a maniac as his flag caught a bolt of lightning, and quickly his entire body was alight with the jagged currents until he plunged his standard into the ground. She and Marco skid to a muddy stop - the earth before them erupted in a climactic explosion of stone and debris, and it was just so friggin' _cool_ that Star couldn't help but grin.

Another Johansen was nailed by a human-sized boulder after successfully dodging one. Star winced, definitely knowing what that would feel like in the morning.

"Star!" Marco cried at her rear. "W-We gotta go back!"

Star gripped her flagpole in both hands. "We are _never_ going back." _Hasn't Marco realized it for himself already? You don't waste time on_ anybody _in Flags!_

Star let her feet fly, up the mountain with Marco at her back. They dodged boulders, avoided Grunt, and at one point Star saw poor Uncle Lump's head bouncing down the mountain. "Not again! Not again!" he cried in dismay.

Although she wasn't going to let him win, being a game of Flags and all, Star couldn't help but feel pity for her horse-bodied relative. _Maybe next year, Uncle Lump!_

And Star braced the bitter cold of the Snow Zone, a sudden sharp iciness that assaulted her soaked person like needles from all directions. Not long after, it became clear to her that the creator of this mountain seemed to like playing sick jokes, when abruptly Star was faced with the overwhelming humidity of the Lava Zone. She felt the light hairs on her arms singe, the platforms were so close to the bubbling concoction. It burst open occasionally, hissing sharply when it struck the cooler stone beneath her feet. But Star hopped from platform to platform, emerging unscathed and pleasantly warm. Ahead, there was the peak. The peak! And Johansens and Butterflys alike were beating each other to reach it, yet none seemed to actually want to reach the top, so much as they wanted to fight each other.

Star's brows furrowed. _Let's end this craziness, once and for all!_ They were too preoccupied with each other to notice her jog up the mountain, reach the top, and impale the soft soil with her flag - a baby-blue butterfly on a pink field.

"I WIN!" Star laughed into the heavens, fists thrust toward it. She kicked her legs out a little. "I win, I win, _IWINIWINIWIN_!"

Down the short slope she saw the families had stopped fighting, and had their eyes on her. A quick scan of their faces and Star knew it all - disappointment in all, surprise from the Johansens, and anger from a few others, whereas the Butterflys apart from huffing and puffing Graunt Etheria regarded their princess with quiet calculations.

She likened them to her mother in this case, how she wore a mask to hide her true emotions at all times. Now that the rush of Flags was over, one by one they retreated back into their perfumed shells of placidity.

 _But I know what you're really thinking,_ thought the perpetually-grinning Star Butterfly. She drank it all in, gaining strength from seeing her prissy family so discontent but feeling the need to hide it, so as not to be on the same level as the groaning and grumbling Johansens.

And yet, that was just it. No matter how they felt about each other, both families were now standing side by side in mutual malcontent. "How does it feel to be on the losing side together, fam?"

"Star!" lashed a someone behind her.

The princess winced, but not from surprise; truthfully, this was suspected. Rather, it was the utterance of her name, its scolding inflection, that was about as common as the sun coming up, and Star was all-too-familiar with its meaning.

It meant that she was in trouble.

And yet despite the gross feelings brewing deep within, a concoction of dread and annoyance that always spawned when hearing her mother's voice, Star had to gasp when she was met with something else entirely.

It wasn't her mother, Queen Butterfly, being carried by Manfred up the mountain like she initially imagined, but instead a six-armed woman draped in flowing blue silks, named Moon Butterfly, was descending toward the peak on a pair of enormous butterfly wings. So deep and blue they were, and the light filtered through them and dappled upon Star's milky-white skin.

"Woah, Mom!" she cooed. "When can I learn to do that?!"

Her mother ignored Star's question (Isn't that rude or something? Hypocrite, much?) and touched down before her, light as a feather.

The empty look on her face, even once the magic fled from her eyes and they turned back to their baby blues, never changed as she said to her daughter, "I would ask if you are okay, but I feel the image before me speaks for itself."

Star's eyes trailed up the pole by her arm - her standard still flapped away in the perpetual breeze of the mountain peak. It was proud, and victorious.

 _Then why don't I feel this way?_ she wondered as she brought her hands up to her chest. "Um... when did you find out?" she asked, trying her best to smile her looming dread off, but her mother gave it no recognition and it failed on the spot.

"I found your 'twin sister.'" Mom folded her wings away, as well as her extra arms. She held the two remaining clasped before her. "I don't remember ever giving birth to her, but I suppose stranger things have happened in this world. River?"

"Wuh!?" Star looked behind - her father had an ax halfway into his skull, an arrow in his shoulder, and a dopey smile to compliment it all.

Star's mother never stopped looking down at her. "Do you remember our corn baby, River?" she asked. "I certainly don't!"

Dad laughed deliriously. "No, no... my dear! I believe there's just the one daughter!"

"Thank you, River."

"We shall name her Star!" And then her kingly father collapsed where he stood.

Mom pinched the bridge of her nose - she released a great sigh, one that Star felt didn't even come close to expressing how she felt right now. "Do you see what Flags can do to your brain, Star?" She gestured a gloved hand back to where the rest of the family stood, quietly watching this unfold.

Star could only lower her head, her hearts afire, and wish this horrible moment would be over.

The realization just made Star all the more embarrassed - she was a princess, pretty much being scolded like a child in front of her entire family. _This was NOT how I expected this to go down in my head._

It was several seconds before either Butterfly said a word.

Her mother spoke lightly when she finally did. "I explicitly told you 'no,' Star."

"Yeah..."

"And what do you have to say for yourself?" Mom folded her arms.

"I'm sorry I tricked you with my corn twin," Star confessed, and she did feel genuinely bad.

Then she would remember all she had accomplished, why she even participated in this stupid game in the first place.

"But, but look! I did it, I totally won!" Star gestured to her family and her flag. To her mother's risen brow, Star waved her hands rapidly. "I-I mean, I don't care that I did. Not really! I, I mean, it's not like I wanted to win for _myself_ , really. I..."

"I thought that if I did," she began, hesitating, "then I thought that, well, that _both_ sides of the family wouldn't have to fight for another year, acting like they're better than one another, you know?" An idea suddenly struck her, and her mother at least seemed willing to hear her daughter out.

"I mean, if I'm a part of both families... then if I win, then it's like we all win, right?" She shrugged lamely - this sounded so much better in her head. "That's... that's all I got, Mom. I'm sorry."

Upon her confession's conclusion, a choir of yelling arose from the ensuing silence. And Star hung her head, too ashamed to endure her mother's disappointed gaze.

 _I shouldn't care so much about what she thinks,_ Star thought to herself. Yet her heart ached in protest.

She was more than a little surprised when a hand gently grasped her shoulder, and was given a start when her gaze snapped up to find her mother at eye-level. And only then did it register to Star that the Johansens and Butterflys down the hill were not yelling - well, they were, but it was not in anger; they were _cheering_ , and chanting her name at that!

_"Star! Star! Star! Star! Star!"_

The princess felt the energy of their rhythm, begging her to join them, if only the surprise wasn't so overwhelming. Star could only gape at her mother's smile on top of it, alongside her proclamation of, "That was quite possibly the most mature thing I've seen you do, sweetie! I'm..." she put a dainty hand to her breast, and Mom confessed with total sincerity, "I'm proud of you, Star."

She felt her insides turn to gooey marshmallow. "Oh, Mom! C'mere!" She knew her mother hated hugs, but dang it, Star was going to get one!

It was even better when it was reciprocated, not as fiercely as her own, Mom was still Queen Moon after all, but Star hummed happily just feeling her mother's arms close around her. When she arrived at the picnic today, determined to win Flags, this was all so much more Star anticipated when she'd win. She didn't expect everyone to cheer for her, or Mom of all people to be proud of her!

Star couldn't stop grinning. Even when the two finally pulled away did her happiness burn bright, though it was subdued into a broad, close-lipped smile.

"It seems that I've misjudged you, Star." Her mother smiled sympathetically. "I think you've earned your seat at the adults' table!"

That got her beaming again. "Awe, Mom! _Huuugs!_ " They shared another quick embrace. She held her hands upon her mother's upper arms after pulling away, as she asked her in a single breath, "You think Marco can come with?" She took a breath, all of this getting to her. "After all, I wouldn't have been able to win... without..."

Star felt her stomach drop, and she was certain her face showed this clear as day, if her mother's concern were of any indication. "Star?" she lightly inquired.

Wordlessly the princess turned away from her mother - the Johansens and Butterflys had already begun making their way down the mountain, she could see the congregation moving toward the Lava Zone. She saw Dad, Aunt Felicity, Uncle Heartrude being carried by the brawnier woman, alongside Great Aunt Etheria, with Uncle Grunt carrying Uncle Lump's head along with the rest of the family marching a sizable distance away from the opposing one, but they were at least no longer fighting, and none seemed to be hurt aside from the minor wounds afflicted by the game.

But among them all...

"Marco?"

...there was not a scrap of red hoodie in sight.

"MARCO?!"

"Star, calm down! What is the matter?!"

At least, that's what she thought her mother say - Star bolted down the mountain faster than she went up.

_"MARCO?!"_

She burst through the invisible barrier between the two families, knocking aside a couple members who just happened to be in her way.

"Star?!" Her father's woozy voice was but a faint murmur, overwhelmed by the thunderous beating of her heart.

 _"MARCO!"_ Star screamed. _Please, oh pleasepleasePLEASE BE OKAY MARCO!_


	17. Losing You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star looks for Marco

Star Butterfly awakened to the sweet song of tiny Earth-birds, and an expanse of breathtaking blue in her window. She smiled happily into her pillow, enjoying the pleasure that washed over her body, and her mind swimming in the lingering throes of sleep.

Mornings on Earth were a welcomed lull in her life, for Star's mind was like a lake, so calm and clear, void of any thoughts excitable and... dreaded.

_Whup, there I go. Now I'm thinking about becoming Queen for the rest of my life again._

But Star was too happy to care; that will not be for another four years or so.

She lied cocooned and motionless, reveling in the "morning lull" Princess Star had quickly taken a liking to ever since her fourteenth birthday, when the peace and quiet of Earth replaced her wake-up alarm in the form of Joffrey _annoying_ her out of bed at seven o' clock, on the dot.

"Ahh!" Star moaned and grunted as she arced her back and stretched her arms, loosening the twelve-plus hours of dormancy her muscles had slept in. She sat straight up, not unlike a vampire, but with her arms entangled in her blonde nest of hair rather than before her chest.

Star's fists shot straight up when she shouted, "Great morning, Earth!" The tranquility in her room vibrated, and the laser puppies at the foot of her bed each popped awake and started yapping and zapping the canopy.

Star cared little though - a wand could mend the burns easy, but not her babies' feelings. "Sorry, sweeties!" She caught Sayjack behind the ears, effectively silencing him as she scratched him the way he loved. Enthusiastically she explained, "Mommy's just so so _so_ excited for this weekend! There's this one dimension that I've been _dying_ to show Marco, it has the absolute _best_ sandwiches in the Universe!"

The rest of the puppies tackled Star back into bed, yipping for the same treatment as their brother after seeing him get belly-rubs. Star spent several minutes loving each pup before battling her way out of the literal dog-pile. Standing, allowing her nightgown to fall around her knees, Star giggled as her bedhead filled her peripherals.

She took out her compact mirror and performed her best, most silliest face before snapping a photo.

To Pony: _'How do I look?'_

_'Oh HEY KELLY! Whatchu doin in bflys room?'_

Star giggled into her portable device; besties always thought alike.

_Speaking of..._

Star wasted little time getting into her favorite outfit, the green dress with an octopus. She raced down the stairs, laser puppies following in her plodding footsteps.

"Hey Star!" Marco's voice came from around the corner.

Star rounded it to find him filling a huge saucer with an even huge-r bag of dog chow. "Buenos diaz, Marco Diaz!" she giggled.

Marco cringed jokingly at the pun, but mirrored his friend's joy as he gestured an elbow to the table. "Hungry? I made your favorite." It was a platter of conchas beside orange juice in a big glass bottle.

"Oh, Marco! Thank you!" Star giggled before reaching to grab some sweetbread.

"I figured this would give us enough energy without eating too much," Marco explained. He took a spot across from her as the puppies crowded around their own breakfast. "Besides, it's been a while since I made these."

Star already had her second helping between her teeth, both hands occupied with pouring a glass of OJ. Her grin never faded as she said, "You never make conchas unless I ask."

Marco shrugged a shoulder. "You told me to eat light this morning, so, you know, why not make it count? Besides, it's only fair if this mysterious dimension you're taking me to promises amazing food; oughta make something _you_ like, you know?" Marco did not comment on the silence that answered, probably assuming his best friend was satisfied with his explanation.

She definitely was. However, Marco had his eyes shut while taking a long sip of juice, missing the smile directed his way.

Breakfast passed, as did most of the morning. When it was time to go Star dashed down the stairs, unable to suppress her grin, nor her excitement - she very nearly slipped in place as she rounded the bottom of the stairs.

"Is there anything I should know before diving in?" he asked as the two of them stood before a portal. Marco gestured with his hands, "Anything I should bring so we're prepared?"

"Nope n' nope!" Star chirped, hands behind her back. "You just gotta trust me."

"I always do," he smiled.

Star waited not a second longer before she had his wrist in hand. "Then let's go!" she cried before diving in.

* * *

" _Marco!_ "

The wind passed alongside a beat of silence.

With a playfulness that didnt quite reach her eyes or heart, Star hollered through a pair of cupped hands, " _Maaarcoooh!_ Where _aaare yooou_?"

A beat, followed by another.

Then another, all while Star quenched a compulsive need to tap her thigh.

_Please, please, please, please, please, please..._

Frigid wind blasted her left side, a ghost moaning in her ear. Faint drifts of snow swirled past.

And then there was nothing; the world kept turning.

How dare it have the nerve to do that, when Star Butterfly's was currently in a state of freefall?

_Marco..._

She tore ahead.

Tremors shocked her toned calves upon every impact of the earth, her bones rattling as if ready to snap like pencils at a moment's notice. But mewmans were a durable people, and such fantasies would only be entertained if Star were a lesser creature.

_Or a human._

Star's arms pumped with abandon, harmonious to the urgency of her breathing.

Sweat soaked her armpits, the skin turning red and raw in cadence with her sprint - a painful reminder of this morning, when everything was okay, and her greatest concern was going sleeveless with the intent of enduring such vigorous exercise (along with shocking her family displaying such promiscuity, in front of the boy she was staying with no less).

 _How juvenile,_ she could hear her mother say. And Star was inclined to agree, though for vastly different reasons.

She never had to worry about Marco though, why would she? _He's a smart kid, he can take care of himself. Heck, he fought, fights monsters in that hoodie of his without ever shedding a drop of sweat, he'll be fiiine!_

 _He'll be fine, he'll be fine,_ ran like a broken record, at some point turning into, _He's fine, he's fine..._

Her soul suddenly cried out, "MMMMARCO!?" and the Universe itself was mocking her as it parroted fainter each time, _"Marco!? ...Marco! ...Marco..."_ until extinguishing into another quiet that made her tummy do somersaults.

Star had committed her outburst in the heart of the Snow Zone, one foot upon a jutting rock and the other up to her boot's lip in the terrain's namesake. Further down she spotted the smog of thundercloud that shrouded the Rain Zone.

_Please, please, please, PLEASE MARCO I KNOW YOU'RE TEASING ME!_

Desperation blubbered past her lips. "Marco, COME ON!" Her voice rattled out toward a pathetic, soul-crushing silence.

Star huffed and puffed, breath frosting before her; she clenched her hands and kicked off the stone, landing a knee and one hand upon a plush bed of grass - the border separating the two zones, trampled thoroughly by the game's course. Star held for half a heartbeat before tearing forth into a sprint.

Her skinny thighs pumped like the twin pistons of a machine, green blurs popping in and out of her vision thrice a second. An ache between her muscles burned so fierce Star knew she would be feeling it all weekend back home with Marco. Its anger, begging her to stop, but spurring the princess to go harder - an urgency to ease her pain as soon as possible.

But she would destroy her wand again before even considering slowing down. Slowing down was for good friends, and responsible princesses.

So she ran.

Yet those were mere monster-punches beside the catalyst of her burning eyes: one heck of a stomach ache, as if her core were torn asunder; not sliced, for the pain was not so sharp, nor eaten out like that banana-headed alien from this week's Friendship Thursday had a baby in her stomach, and it was ready to burst.

It was only last night, yet Star remembered squealing when that first happened as if it were a childhood memory.

Nay, the pain was more akin to someone hooking their fingers in, tearing her open, and leaving her gutted with knife twisted three inches deep into her belly.

Star swallowed a groan.

Individually, these aches would bring discomfort to the Princess of Mewni. All at once though, glowing red and angry, was complete agony, the worst she'd felt in years, maybe even her entire life.

Star only permitted herself rest when her throat felt healed enough to scream once more:

_"Marco!?"_

She waited three beats, the bone-deep fear of missing the faintest hint of her dear friend's voice resisting the desire to press forward and tear this mountain apart.

The silence that answered, though, that was the worst feeling of all.

It reminded her of every reason why she was a royal screw-up, why her mother hated her and why she was sent to Earth in the first place. It reminded her of Marco: his smile that never once failed to give her a fuzzy feeling, along with his nachos, his smarts, his mole, his words, his friendship and his love.

All of that could be gone, forever.

In bouts of quiet, however brief, Star wished to give in to her buckling knees, hopelessness and heartbreak urging to curl up right there in the muck and scream. This instance was particularly fierce, but after much gasping and gaping the princess forced down the desire, tightening her hands into fists.

Hell, no.

She was Star Butterfly, the Rebel Princess, future-Queen of Mewni.

And she was going to find her best friend.

Granted she couldn't expect to hear anything upon the border of the Rain Zone. Only a few steps into the territory, her dress already soaked through and hair slopped up against her back like a waterlogged towel, yet its unnatural nature was a constant scream in her ears, falling in torrents, and drowning her and the hyperactive thrumming within her breast into muddled white noise.

The downpour rendered the world a greyed mess of color, but Star could spot Uncle Grunt's desolation clustered a ways down.

Boulders from his attack were scattered about at the zone's base, with deep, mucky trenches trailing behind giving ample evidence to their cleavage of the slope. They were two, three times her size, and could squash her like a bug.

Star's stomach flipped a hundred times at once - her imagination was already at work putting Marco in place of herself, and bringing these fantasies to a terrifying level of realism. She finally gave in to shuddering, her entire body convulsing as if finally registering how soaked and cold she was.

That envoked a memory Star had not realized she even had, and it sunk a chill so deep it tickled her bones, down her arms, and crept the length of her spine.

The memory was not of a picture, but a voice. Marco's voice, from a mere ten minutes ago.

She did see him at the time but Star heard Marco well enough, needing only the horror in his tone to picture his rain-splattered face, wild and stricken, as he demanded they go back-

Star's mouth popped open, as did her eyes.

_That's the last time I heard him..._

Of this she was dreadfully certain. Star's fists clenched tight, shaking.

And she could move no more.

_I..._ _I... I..._

Star furrowed her brow.

_I'_ _m gonna find you, Marco! Hang on!_

Her foot pivoted but twisted on the spot as if the mud were like butter, and the princess promptly collapsed, bringing her to the posture of vermin before she could take off.

Face inches away from the ground, a powerful, damp-earth aroma pounded Star's sense of smell; like some formless beast the mud swallowed her hands whole, starving, and soaked through the thin fabric of her tights. But her eyes never left the path ahead.

Jaw firm, Star tore her hands upright, hearing an obscene slurp upon freedom. Uncaring for her own cleanliness more than ever she pushed against her skirt, concealing the little bear on its hem in grime. Brown was added to the stripes of color on the front of her dress amidst her struggles, but with some staggering the Princess of Mewni stood tall, brown as a chamberpot.

She was still for only half a moment before bursting forth like a blonde bullet, alternating between sprinting down the mountain and surfing its ruined face. Star's legs were on autopilot amidst her descent, her entire being channeled through her darting eyes, roving for just even a scrap of red amidst the backdrop of dark browns and greens. She was only partially aware of the slow burn of her eyes, a likely courtesy of the rain lapping at them and pouring down her face.

The lead ball settled further in her stomach, practically ready to make it a permanent home as she reached the boulders' congregation. Equal parts hope and dread stewed within, making the princess mewl in several octaves as she whipped her body to and fro, praying that at some point, somehow, she would just happen to stumble upon her best friend-

"MARCO!"

At the sight of red amidst the swamp her voice broke betwixt consonants, and for an instant her heart stopped altogether. Its palpitations then picked up twofold once it clicked in her brain that, _Yes, this is Marco and you have found him and he is okay,_ after noticing black, lanky legs attached to that red.

Though she hated what followed, Star couldn't deny her heart's desire to squeeze out a couple tears that had sat welled in her eyes for so long. An urge that had stewed within blossomed overwhelmingly, suddenly, like a teapot urging for relief until it became too much too abruptly and Star's throat erupted in an air-gasping but euphoric sob.

But the smile she wore, however weary, never left her face. Nor did the relief she felt ebb even slightly as she uttered his name once more, "Marco..." for the first time since beginning her search in a quiet, almost self-assuring murmur, as though not doing so would render his existence before her invalid.

Star was unprepared for the other sob that abruptly followed, but she cared so little she didn't even notice it herself.

"Marco!" she cried, approaching her best friend.

Star hobbled toward him, walking beside the incline. Every second or third step the mud tried sucking her in with its glue-like hold, but she jerked her boots free with violent will, all while certain those horrible gasping sounds she was making were borne not from her lungs, but the heaviness within that made breathing a challenge altogether. Some of the sounds she made Star swore she'd never made before in her life, but she didn't care because she found Marco and her world was safe.

That is until her knees buckled beneath her, and Star let out a noise that was half a growl and half a sob. Her palms kicked up mud upon slamming into the mire, which swallowed her completely up to her wrists. Her aching, blurry gaze registered that Marco was so close she need only to reach out to touch his arm. His sopping mess of brown hair was pointed toward her, hiding his face from view.

Star smiled despite the rain soaking her back, despite her hair dabbing into the mud like an oversized paintbrush, despite the sight of her best friend face-down in the muck, who had yet to even grace her with an acknowledgement to her presence.

"You could get really sick if you stay out in the rain!" she yelled on her hands and knees. "Remember that, Marco? You remember telling me that, cuz _Ah do~_!" Her voice was strained and ragged.

Star had little notion to her intent in bringing this up, but knew she failed when Marco showed little interest in her reminiscing. But Star crawled toward him anyway, and he was _so_ gonna get bear hugged for pulling this stunt!

Her arms strained against the mud, it was like stone. Star gasped and her biceps seemed to pulse with pain, but she clenched her jaw with all her might and soon no further sound came forth as she struggled against the earth.

 _I will_ never _shy away from a challenge._

"...I should have listened," she continued aloud - whether it was her own musings or the memory of playing in the rain was not a conscious distinction. "You remember what happened, Marco?"

He did not appear to. Star swallowed a growl - he totally remembered, just like he remembers all the other times he was right and she was wrong. He probably had a big organized scrapbook of all the times she Starred-up, not that she would blame him. It'd be a best-seller for sure, for the amount of times and varying degrees of Star-related incidences had to be the stuff of fiction.

"I had so much fun in the rain, I just didn't want it to end!" she argued. Star gave a breathy laugh, the mud leading toward Marco thick as jello but wisely giving way so her left hand could slide up beside her right.

Her elbows shook terribly. "You tried to get me to wear that big ugly coat," she panted, "I thought it was a banana suit!" Star giggled for five straight seconds. "I was convinced you were trying to teach me some weird Earth-ritual, heh, _like always_! Eh-heh, remember how quickly I tore it off after realizing you were just being the Safe Kid again? 'You worry too much!' I said, 'Rain on Mewni can melt your flesh!' Earth-rain just felt so nice and cool, I didn't wanna spoil my first!"

It was getting hard to speak - her stomach had risen so high up it was practically in her throat. Star pushed through the pain, as she always did.

"You always worry too much," she half-declared, half-reminisced. "I got so super sick after that, I couldn't even move out of bed! But you brought me soup and bubblegum flavored Earth-medicine, and we played _Sorry!_ and _Guess Who?_ , all while wearing that really cute nurse dress over your clothes. I loved being pampered by you! I loved spending time with you, and I _loved_ how much you cared about me!"

The burn in her eyes intensified to one of the third-degree - however blurry, the shade of red on this rain-pounded hoodie really hurt her.

"You felt so bad when I got sick, remember?" Marco was quiet, intent on listening to the rest of her confession. "Remember how bad I felt, Marco? Not from the sickness, silly, but for you! You really felt like you failed me!" Even now, over something so minute, Star felt the unmistakable clenching of her heart. The rain was really starting to pour down her face, it stung her bang-shrouded eyes.

"But do you remember what I told you after feeling better, courtesy of the best nurse in the Universe?"

Marco was directly beneath her.

"I was _sorry._ I was sorry you felt responsible for what I did! I know I almost died from an Earth-sickness, but it was all _me_ , Marco! Not you! _Me!_ I wanted to feel what rain on Earth felt like, and even though you warned me, I went and I did it anyway. And then, and then _you_ went and felt bad because of me! And then I felt bad, and...! And..."

One feeble, muddy hand reached forth.

"And please... Marco..."

She willed herself to ignore the muck, its appalling cakey stickiness, the smell so powerful it made her dizzy, until, after years of crawling she slapped one, grimey hand upon his farthest shoulder, and another on the opposite.

"Marco... _please_..."

He hadn't yet spoken.

"Please, please... _please_ tell me you're okay."

_Please don't let this be my fault._

She grit against her pulsing arm muscles as she turned him toward her. He fell like a brick into her arms, his head slumped across its crook. Star showed little reaction as she slid her hand so she was cradling it.

Rainfall never ceased in pelted them, washing away globs of mud from wherever it hit, although Star was painted up to her elbows, and the soft, tanned skin of Marco's face was splotched a darker shade of brown.

Star analyzed his features, trying to make sense of it all - his shut eyes, grime-caked cheeks, forehead, and the red river that ran from above his brow, down, and around his temple, framing the right side of his young face and just barely kissing the mole neath his eye.

Star's expression was blank, her breaths shallow, and she only blinked when her body had to, not wishing to miss a single inch of his face. Although it became hard to make out the finer details when they became increasingly blurry.

A droplet fell and plopped softly against his forehead, then another hit his cheek, followed by a second. Droplets of rainwater clung precariously to her bangs, and the odd strand that fell past her ear. Between second-long intervals they would snap free, fall, and break gently upon Marco's face. He hated getting wet socks; Star was sure this would annoy him awake, but he didn't so much as twitch.

Taking a breath so deep, then exhaling brokenly, Star reached a conclusion - she had to wake Marco up.

Sure, he would probably be annoyed (Like always!), having been awakened by his bestie _again_ , but he couldn't just sleep all day. There were adventures to be had, things to see, and they had to do it together or else none of it would matter.

"M-Mar-..." Her throat closed on her.

"Mar-..." Now her voice was too meek.

She took a deep, lung-filling breath, "Marc-" but no sound came.

Star pursed her lips, a soft grumble rolling away in her throat. She inhaled deep, anticipating her strong, lively voice when less than a minute ago she couldn't go ten feet without screaming it.

 _Marco,_ her mind echoed, easy as pie. _Just say his name: Marco._

"...Please..." She squeezed trembling handfuls of wet hoodie and chestnut-brown hair.

 _Come on, Star,_ she berated herself. _You've done it a million times, this is no different!_

It was though, but Star refused to accept that.

So she wet her lips well past a reasonable point and breathed in deep, building a mental foundation from steel so that her voice was Star-like as ever.

 _'...Marco,'_ she mouthed.

There was a voice in her second attempt, albeit so quiet the rain drowned her, but she heard it in her own ears clear as day, and knew the boy in her arms must have as well.

" _Marco_...?" The ensuing silence was abruptly severed by a sharp inhale, and without realizing it, Star was screaming. "Marco if this is a joke, it's a really mean one!"

What came next, Star Butterfly was unsure of the cause: the mere utterance of his name, or his insistence on ignoring her for leaving him behind. It could have been just how utterly broken she sounded to her own ear.

Whatever the cause, Star whimpered at the gut-punch arrive in full force - that smack from reality telling her, _Open your eyes and LOOK._

And she did.

Marco Diaz, her beloved best friend, was in her arms; she'd found him, her mission was complete, and her initial fears placated. As if he just up and vanished in a puff of smoke? The joke quickly mutated into an abdominal pang when Star remembered that did, in fact, happen, and Marco was almost crushed to death as a result.

Yet, despite finding him, he continuously ignored her.

 _'If this is a joke_ ,echoed her memory, _'it's a really mean one!'_

But all thoughts ground to a screeching halt once Star realized Marco would never joke about this. He cared about Star so much, of course he did, and he would never joke about bleeding and not moving. And when he was moving Marco Diaz was cheering her up, or fighting monsters, or cooking, or laughing or fussing or _breathing_ -

A sharp gasp tore through the air, and the world flashed white.

A scream echoed amidst the rainfall, boomed against thunder, and howled into eternity, degenerating into frantic, heaving gasps for air, before Star crescendoed into another wail.

The world was red and brown, and to Star she was burning down, consumed by flames. Horrible pain, all over, deep inside, even the mud seemed to burn; the sharpest pain was beyond her reach, a deeply-wrought agony where her heart would be. The frantic thrumming against her breast was her only reminder that it was still there - a hand clutched at it, a feeble bid to quell the pain that lied unreachable.

As she sat there in the mud, soaked and shivering, with a hand to her breast and her soul dying in agony, Star made a little sound with her voice, something primal urging her to sound it when her body dipped into momentary reprieve, choking for air.

A tiny thing that passed her pale, pink lips.

Without a thought but her mind much like the world around her she made it again, clear, meek, and broken all at once: "No..." it sounded.

She made it again, "No..."

And again, "No!"

Its clarity rising in tandem with her volume.

" _No!_ " wailed Star. Her head rocked in tandem, _"No, no, no, no, NO, NAAAOOOHOOHOO!"_

She gripped both sides of his face.

 _"Marco Diaz, this had BETTER BE SOME MEAN PRANK!"_ Spit showered his still expression.

With a scream she laid a palm out against his cheek - the sound of wet flesh on wet flash cracked like a whip.

 _MARCO!"_ She jostled him about. **_"MAR-CO!"_**

She slapped him so hard her hand stung after.

_"Please Marco, PLEASE! I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON!"_

_I'll listen to you from now on. I'll swear off fun forever. I'll quit magic._

_I'll leave Earth._

_Please Marco... Just, please..._

Star sat with her breath in her lungs, watching his face; her heart seemed to have frozen mid-pump. Even the tears were stuck to her face, unmoving.

A beat of silence passed before Star felt her heart torn asunder.

_This can't be happening..._

**_"PLEEEAAASE!"_** the princess wailed.

_...But it is._

Star's worst nightmare had come true:

She murdered her best friend.

_"NAAAOOOHOO!"_

She wailed hard into the mud-caked hoodie, sounding like a piglet prepped for butchery with snot running down her pig-snout.

She felt nothing though - only Marco's locks between her fingers, his chest rising and falling neath her fingertips, as she had many an early morning. She heard his cute tentative laughter, his dismay as she yanked him into another dimension, the sound of her name in that scared, crescendoeing cry.

_Maybe this is all a nightmare!_

The flash of hope she felt lived a full second before her eyes sprang open, and was met with silence, and a corpse still as the grave. Her eyes flooded and overflowed in an instant.

 ** _"MAAARCOOOHOOOHOOOH!"_** heralded another wave of sobbing. Star embraced all that was left of him, her hands locked behind his back in an unbreakable grasp.

_"Muh-Marco...*hic* Marco..."_

Star felt herself rocking ever so slightly, like he sometimes did when they were cuddled up and watching a movie.

_"Marco... My Marco..."_

This was all wrong. This wasn't supposed to happen, none of this was meant to be.

And yet it was right in front of her. This was reality, this was the rest of her life, right in front of her, and every night after, forever.

"Please," she whimpered into his shoulder. For what or whom she did not know, but Star pleaded to the Universe itself, "Please be okay. I know I'm a horrible friend and I don't deserve it but... for Marco, he... _plea-hease_ , give me a sign tha'this's all some horrible _nightmare_..."

So overcome with grief, it didn't register to Star that the rain fell upon her no longer - the Universe had breached the thunderclouds with its answer.

Only after cracking her eyes open and notice the mud did she see it, a yelp voicing her surprise as her puffy peepers roved about. Star found her answer upon Marco's face and arms, his hoodie blotted with a solid black shadow shaped like her horns. But it too glistened upon her bared arms, seeped into the ruined tights that clung to her thighs like paint, and all around, in the mud they sat in. Star's eyes roved with bewilderment, her prior grief still raw in her chest but held as unmovable as the unshed tears in her eyes.

No matter where she looked, everything was bathed in an ethereal, crimson light.

"Wha-...?" Star breathed, before her face lifted to the heavens. She gaped at what met her.

_The... The Blood Moon!?_

That is what her eyes regaled, for Yara had looked darker than its typical ruddy-pink, adopting a strikingly familiar glow, the very visage of which shot deep into her memory, and tickled her nostalgia with a heart-pounding little melody.

Star just knelt there, gawking, with tears on her face and a certainty that she was truly losing it once the crimson moon was a slab of thundercloud after a bat of the eye, whisking away the vision before she could comprehend it fully.

Star's mind was in veritable chaos. Too much was hitting her at once: losing Marco, fearing the worst, then finding him, only to realize her nightmare had come true, and then the Blood Moon...

So much was happening, yet it all came to a screeching halt the instant a life-filling gasp caught her ear.

Star watched, everything in her being locked in place.

Marco's face was still with his lips half-parted, but the gentle force of his breast pushing against her own was undeniably real, and Star sputtered out a laugh filled with mucus and relief.

"Marco..." A tender cup of the cheek, his skin cold and wet and rough with dirt etched in deep. But she felt the slightest twitch of life underneath her fingers before his face contorted into a grimace.

Marco stirred, ever so slightly he did, but the tiny moan and wrinkle of his cute little nose was enough for Star's heart to kiss the heavens.

"MARCO!" she laughed and sobbed all at once.

Star could not help what happened next, even if she were in the right mind to do so, the relief knowing that Marco was alive was so overwhelming that her lips crashed into his.

She tilted her head to get a better angle, but Star was never one for grace, especially now, when her first-ever kiss was as frantic and wet and messy as this, and she couldn't stop shaking and crying and she flinched away and blinked the tears from her eyes when he exerted just the tiniest bit of force against her.

It was as if he was trying to hear his own voice. "Star..." he feebly uttered, eyes wrenched shut.

With the zone's rain no longer against her face, Star could now feel her own tickling down her cheeks, achieving little in the way of cooling the heat blazing upon them. She could feel her heart thrumming away in her chest, the slight tingle of her lips, the hiccups between shallow, tired sobs and hundreds of thoughts and memories vying for attention, surfacing and fading without care or reason.

Marco said her name.

He was alive.

But he was dead.

Wasn't he?

What was the Blood Moon doing on Mewni?

She just kissed him.

_Oh my gosh, I kissed Marco..._

The Blood Moon...

_I was relieved, that's all._

The Moon of Lovers...

But she just _kissed her best friend._

Her best friend who was ALIVE.

Star closed her eyes, her chin crumpling and lips pursing, muffling sobs that inevitably broke free. They were spent into his neck.

_He's alive. Marco's alive. Marco. My Marco..._

She sniffled sharply, gazing upon his face as she cradled him close to her bosom. As if it would cease, she exhaled shakily in relief feeling his stomach press against her arm as it filled with life. Relief and horror, fear, and depression all at once stewed within and suffocating her, making Star gasp for air while the world fell away around them.

"I'm so, _so_ sorry, Marco..." Star whimpered.

And everything came surging forth at once.

"When I realized you weren't there, all I could think about was making sure you were alright. But I'm such a terrible friend, Marco! You were right, Mom was right - this game is too dangerous, and I, I _forced_ you to play it with me!" She choked back a sob. "I was so lost in the Zone that I just forgot about everything else - I mean how the heck could I forget about you? _What kind of friend DOES THAT_!?"

"Star!" was heard faintly, like a whisper in the wind.

"And then," she gasped, "and then I saw you weren't there and, and you wouldn't answer me, and you were ignoring me and not breathing and you... you shouldn't have _followed_ me, Marco! You should have said something! And if you did, you should have grabbed me by the shoulders and, and _screamed_ it into my face! You know how I get, dang you, _YOU KNOW HOW I GET!_ "

Star's body wracked with coughing intervals harshly wedged between her powerful cries.

_He could have DIED!_

"Wh-Why do you _trust me_ , Marco?!"

 _Because he thinks you're a good friend,_ said a voice in her head, a voice that sounded a lot like her own. To that, Star could only kiss her nose to his mud-caked hoodie and tremble.

When she felt something lay upon her shoulders, and herself be pulled away from her shallow grasp on her best friend, Star's first instinct was to start thrashing. "NO!" she screamed. Through her squinting, welling eyes she only saw vague blobs surround Marco and pick him up.

Dread flooded her stomach. _Tom's demons have come for his soul!_

"GET AWAY FROM ME! DON'T HURT HIM!"

Her assailant squeezed tighter. "Star! _Star_ , he's okay!"

 _That voice..._ The familiarity of it was achingly welcome. Without hesitation Star spun herself around, sloshing through the mud and locking her arms around the individual. With her face concealed into the fine, blue fabric of her soaked formal gown, Star felt it safe enough to really start wailing, the ache in her chest still raw and real.

"Shh, shh, dearie," cooed Moon Butterfly, as she raked her fingers through her daughter's mangled, sopping-wet hair. "It's okay," her voice was like a smooth melody, "It's okay, Marco is okay..."

 _He's okay!_ rang her memory, alongside her consciousness, _He IS okay! He's fine, everything's fine! Everything's..._

A vision flashed across her memory, silencing all thought and ceasing the princess's heart for a full second. It was a vision of Marco, face-down in the muck, overlain with the sound of her mother scolding her nigh-every year that Flags was too dangerous.

 _Nothing will be fine again..._ was Star's last thought before she fell into darkness.

* * *

"...S-Star?" Marco wheezed.

His head felt like an egg someone's cracked open, joints ache with the dull exhaustion brought about by a cold, and he was a little startled to find himself in a huge bed inside of an unfamiliar room with tan brick walls. A glance behind the item of his utterance, a trio of moons among a breathtaking pink sky, coupled with the pure silence between himself and the Princess of Mewni was like a flashing neon sign that said "YOU ARE HERE."

But his focus lay fully on the girl beside him - her fair, flawless skin, and the tousled gold that wreathed her frame. Marco's eyes met with glassy sapphires that instantly brightened at the sound of her name.

Marco felt himself crack a dopey smile. "Is this Heaven?"

Star Butterfly stood, her royal-blue gown crinkling and falling down to her knees. A shaky smile adorned her face. "Sorry bud," she murmured, hands clasped before her, "you're not leaving this world just yet."

He offered a weak chuckle. "Good," sighed Marco. "Would've been pretty embarrassing if I went through all that just to get clobbered in the head." Marco searched his memory, the last thing he recalled was a boulder filling his vision.

Without realizing it, Marco frowned guiltily. "I zigged when I should have zagged... I'm sorry, Star." Fear rose up his stomach. Quickly, he asked, "D-Did we wi-?"

Star threw herself on top of him and locked her arms around his neck, turning Marco's entire world into a face full of golden hair. The tranquility between them wavered as soft little sobs whispered in his ear, and Marco's heart clenched even harder when his arms reciprocated without hesitation, and seemingly incited the princess to cry even harder.

Marco had little notion of what to do or say. He was not so dense - although he had only been knocked out, it still must have been terrifying for Star.

Every sob, every hitch of breath, was a lance through the heart, until tears beaded the corners of his eyes and he nuzzled Star fully.

Without much thought or reason, a musing posed itself deep in Marco's consciousness: _**N** o **w** d **o** y **o** u **b** e **l** i **e** v **e** y **o** u **r** se **l** f_

Marco stiffened, gasping sharply with fright launching his heart into his throat. He had never heard such a horrible voice before, nor ever again the following days. But he did not question it, not once.

He was too busy dwelling on the question.


	18. Disobey (pt 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco comes to a realization. Star does what she does best.

Star lied with Marco for the rest of the day - ignoring his repeated assurances that he was fine, that she had "better things to do" than fret over his "clumsy self."

She was being coy and playful: humming away, pretending not to hear as she snuggled beside her best friend, skirts swallowing his seldom-exposed legs (having been stripped to his boxers and a clean white medical gown). She must not have heard the growing forcefulness in Marco's voice, similar to himself missing that which colored her own. Their playful words inevitably changed in sound, but their meaning remained the same - soon, they were throwing each other's name back and forth, coupled with some variation of "No," and "Come on, I'm fine."

They might as well have been saying, "Stop making me your problem," "No, I care about you too much," to one another.

Not that either realized it for themselves.

This banter would have gone on forever, Star willing, had Marco not suddenly grabbed her by the shoulders, and moved her away so she could fully comprehend the intensity of his intense gaze. " _Star_ ," he urged, in a stern, controlled voice.

But every word and thought in Marco's brain died, seeing the tears that sat within her eyes, threatening to well over. His heart crumbled like clay in the sun; Marco couldn't possibly find it within himself to insist again.

Not when this was Star - his  _best friend_  Star. Marco muttered an apologetic, "Nevermind," and returned to embracing the future Queen of Mewni, which she accepted fiercely. Disgust roiled within, shaming Marco for even entertaining the thought that Star would accept leaving him like this.

No matter how much she needed to - for her sake, if not everyone's.

And Marco didn't dwell upon what started this sudden insistence in the first place:  _Now do you believe yourself?_

He didn't think about it, for he feared what the answer would be.

Such a verbally simple, yet emotionally deep argument never occurred again. Things even went back to normal: they returned home, returned to school, never acknowledged the incident between their adventures, traipsing to different dimensions, and wasting the days away at home.

The only difference is Star didn't smile like she used to. She still does, obviously - but not like she used to.

Not after lingering in Mewni a few minutes after Marco went through, and then emerging to find his parents squeezing him in a bear hug. He knew what happened just by the look on her face. From that look, he knew who she'd spoken to, what it was about, and a notion of what was said.

And it was yet another reminder of the question which still plagued his every waking hour.

* * *

 _Now do I believe myself?_ It's been three days since this first encircled Marco's thoughts.

And not a minute passed when it didn't.

Not when he was unable to distract himself, and frighteningly enough, neither when Star was around. The two of these worked in unity, for Marco rarely found something to do that didn't involve his royal friend, which resulted in thinking about it, obsessively, all the time - and he couldn't figure out why. He wasn't sure who put the idea into his head, until he realized, three days later, that it was himself.

It first crashed into his train of thought not ten seconds after opening his eyes - when he found himself in Castle Butterfly, with his best friend in the universe strangling him in one of her patented "friendship squeezes."

It was a familiar setup, but still wrong enough to put Marco on edge - the unmistakable plushness of gauze encircling his noggin, of which he was intimately familiar with, but never worn himself until that instant; a heartbeat after realizing this, the last thing he could recall was playing Flags before a boulder filled his vision.

His heart beat once more, and Marco suddenly felt the weight of his friend sprawled on top of him, only now comprehending that it was  _Star,_ in her poofy princess-dress, trembling while taking small, quiet gasps.  _Star's crying,_ his arms closed around her,  _Star's crying because she thought I was hurt, or worse._

This is only the second time in a few weeks that Marco's heard his strong-willed friend succumb to such emotion, and while this was far, far more subdued than that awful morality debate in her bedroom, the parallels Marco saw were uncanny - like this was fate, almost. And deep inside he foresaw yet another awful, perhaps even worse argument that could possibly end with them both in tears, and angry with each other.

 _She's worried about me,_ was the obvious conclusion. But Marco's mind feasted upon the implications, the parallels, the "why" of it all, always: dead into the night, this happened; the following morning, when he was caught between his relieved, happy parents, he saw Star off to the side through the crook of his father's big arm: she smiled so wide her cheeks probably hurt, and then she would complain about it, and they'd laugh - all usual.

Only, it didn't reach her eyes. And from the way it crumbled slightly, upon meeting Marco's, well, Star might as well have burst into tears and got it over with, what with how blatant they were being. Marco's bliss in seeing his parents again waned just enough to effectively dampen his heart, and darken his mood for the rest of the day.

It was clear to both teens, so in sync as best friends typically are, that Star had some obvious, heavy thoughts in mind, and Marco did too - but neither wished to acknowledge them. Especially Star Butterfly - a princess who willfully ignored her fast-approaching future so she would never be unhappy.

It just reminded Marco of that which he refused to believe, for believing it hurt him, deep in his chest, where a butterfly-shaped peg sat. And yet, believing it also meant accepting a dark, ironic twist of fate: acknowledging the truth; Marco's spent his entire life believing that honesty was the best, possible policy (barring any Jackie-related notions), no matter who it hurt. But that was before he met Star, and she made his life so great and scary and big and...

Just _complicated_  - and Marco didn't know what to believe anymore.  _Now do I believe myself?_ ceaselessly encircled his thoughts all the while.

For the rest of the day, this maelstrom swirled about in his head - that very question the eye of it all, for Marco believed himself, but he didn't want to - a hazardous, disarming calm he didn't wish to leave and yet knew, in his heart, that it would not last. In his heart, he knew the truth of it all; what happened to make him finally realize this, and why. And although he knew Star would never, ever want him to think this way, he simply lacked this magical ability she possessed.

And it wasn't a wand, not immense strength, nor crazy durability.

But instead, the power to ignore reality.

For Marco was a realist, and he always helped keep Star grounded. Yet  _this_... when it concerned their entire  _friendship_... If Marco ever mentioned this,  _this_... surely, their friendship would be beaten  _bloody_  from the firefight that would ensue. And God forbid, if Marco actually ended up  _hurting_  his best friend,  _again_ , for telling her  _any_  of this, as if  _she_  was responsible for his  _own_  decisions?

_I... I don't know... what..._

He asked himself, aloud now, in bed, three nights later: " _Now do I believe myself?_ "

He didn't know why this was such a nagging question, only that his heart cried out for an answer: one that he could solely provide. And in his heart, where terrible, passionate feelings that Marco himself denied himself from ever entertaining festered, sat the source of it all: going way back to that fateful night at Ludo's.

Marco was never truly certain as to why it bothered him so, for it was never  _truly_  about monsters, or Star's Mewman prejudice; not entirely, anyway.

When he did, though, Marco was shocked to realize that he'd been mimicking his friend this entire time - all without ever realizing it.

For he, too, was ignoring  _reality -_ he was running away from it, just like her. And while Marco would surely find this funny were it about anything else, and then excitedly tell Star just to hear her burst out laughing,  _this_...

...This was so much  _worse_.

Here, now, when it was all too real - aware of his role in all this, and how badly it affected Star - Marco Diaz just couldn't ignore it any longer. Not when it affected his best friend so terribly, not when it's been staring him, right in the face, since the day they've met:

 _Now do I believe myself?_ And realizing all of this, three days later, as he lied in bed staring at the ceiling again, Marco Diaz felt his heart stop as he answered aloud:

"I'm just a liability to Star."

His voice, softspoken, yet loud enough to disturb the heavy silence of his crypt-like bedroom.

He could have declined playing Flags - it was in his power to say no, and deep inside he didn't want to play, but even deeper roiled a certain fear: tyrannical in overwhelming the Safe Kid's instinct to be safe, for the last thing he wanted to do now was upset his best friend.

And yet...

As a Human, Marco was too frail to keep up with such intense Mewman pageantry, and the reality of it all occurred to him on a level so obviously above what Star perceived (because Lord knows she would never think this, any of it, for even a second).

But Marco couldn't pretend this wasn't an issue: that he was just a Human, and if something ever happened to him, it would have horrible consequences on the whole of the Universe. He didn't know precisely how, but something, nestled deep inside of him, convinced Marco that Star would either let something equally worse happen in an effort to save him, or if something irreversible did befall him, the Heir of Mewni and all the magic in the universe (if Glossaryck were to be believed) would suffer.

Somehow. Marco was too scared to dwell upon such plausible "What ifs." Not when Star was ready to trade the wand to a villain in exchange for his worthless life.

Marco, after several weeks, finally believed himself then: everything bad that ever happens to Star is because of him.

 _H'oh gosh, I... I really_ am _a threat to the Universe!_ Marco pulled his blanket up to his chin, curling into his twisting stomach. It tightened then, as if in agreement, except Marco still didn't know when this idea was planted into his head - yet it didn't feel sudden; as if it was there all along, simmering in the back of his mind as he did everything he could to not even realize it for himself.

Until Flags happened, of course.

He was haunted by images of her dropping the wand unto Toffee's plate, in exchange for his life: one unremarkable amidst billions.

_I'm the biggest danger to Star's future - t-the future of the whole Universe!_

And now Marco didn't know what to do, for he was too much of a coward to push Star away and return to embracing the life he had before.

* * *

_"I'm just a liability to Star."_

Star pulled her ear away from the bathroom door.

Her breaths were shallow, a struggle to fully take in with her heart sitting in the smoky crater she once called a gut of steel - a title that seems to have been revoked when she wasn't looking, probably in the early days of her friendship with Marco.

That was the closest she'd come to thinking about the kiss and what it meant, and Star shed any further thinking before she could  _really_  start to get introspective.

She heard him again:  _"I'm just a liability to Star,"_ except in her own head, and it was her mother saying such a horrible, inherently wrong proclamation - yet another one of dozens that swarmed Star's thoughts, consuming them until these were all that remained. Even hanging out with her best friend from Earth, or chatting with the one of Mewni, Star couldn't stop thinking about it, any of it.

There was just so much now: Marco's nightmares, Marco almost dying, Marco  _actually_ dying, and what her mother had screamed at her to tie it all in an ugly ribbon.

Star yawned into her hand.

_Come on, Marco Diaz... Count the sheep or something! Before I do it to out of sheer BOREDOM and fall asleep by accident!_

It was hard, keeping up with these nightmares, especially since they came every night now. It was two in succession before Flags, and then nothing the night of the accident - Star liked to think it was her positive presence (and maybe the Butterfly-magic in her veins) when sleeping beside Marco that drove the dream demon away.

But Star still didn't get any sleep that night, for stupidly obvious reasons.

Her stomach twisted - she still hadn't forgotten the sight, not even for a second: Marco, face-down in the mud...

She felt a familiar heaviness fill her very eyes, until a familiar snoring filled the room. She snapped into her "Marco Mission Mode," where the only thing on her mind was his awful dream demon, as she cast the unlocking spell, crossed the room, and murmured the Dream Walker's Incantation upon Marco's sleeping figure.

All the while, Mom's words plagued the back of her mind:  _"He is NOT a 'liability,' Star! That is NOT what I am SAYING!"_

* * *

**Next Time:** _Moon Butterfly gives a warning._ _Star obeys her mother._ _Dream-Marco searches._

* * *

**Seeing how badly his self-perceived thoughtlessness affected Star, it suddenly occurs to Marco just what kind of an impact he has on her, and he finally realizes why the night at Toffee's haunted him so.**


End file.
